desperately seeking camera cord...

I give up. it doesn't seem to be anywhere. My theory is, I took it home, and left it on someone's desk. If anyone has seen a grey cord, with a USB end on one end, and a mini USB looking thing on the other, and have no idea where it's from, it's probably my camera cord. I think i may just have to admit defeat and buy a new one, which is really annoying. They aren't universal, and it was tough finding the last one in the store. As I recall, the girl had to dig around in the back for the right model.

But anyway, thought I'd better pop in anyway. Things are a little hairy around here. John's about the start school, both kids have stopped sleeping, Joan has her first foot brace, and is at the hospital every week, it looks like our building just sold, and I'm about to give birth. Nothing we can't handle. Just a lot on the minds.

I'll get baby 3 stuff out of the way first - I had yet another ultrasound (I think I've had 5). I had one of those professional techs who won't say anything, which always starts me worrying. She said the fluid may be too plentiful, but she'll have to graph everything out and the doc will let me know the verdict. Unfortunately, I won't be able to know until I see the doc next Friday, which is when she'll tell me if I'm in for an induction in the next few days afterwards, or if all is well, and she'll let labour progress on its own. A week is a long time to wait for that kind of news. Mike's hoping I go early. I think he's getting sick of me groaning in pain every time I get up from a chair, and my constant complaining about how uncomfortable I am. I don't remember feeling this miserable or uncomfortable for the other two, but Mike vehemently insists I've gotten this way every time, and just forget.

On the Joan front, things have been frustrating, but are improving. She got her leg brace just over a week ago. She's taken to it pretty well. She balks a little when i bring it out each morning, but once it's on, she's fine to leave it on all day, which is what we're supposed to do. problem is, it's a bit clunky, so she's had to reteach herself how to do everything with it on. For the first couple days,she couldn't do anything. She couldn't pull up. She even had trouble scooting. It was torturous to watch, knowing how little she can do to begin with, then seeing all her progress erased. She would get frustrated, too, but she plugged on, and can manoeuvre pretty well in it now. She's back to climbing up stairs and couches, and is interested in walking again. It's made a big difference in her gait. They asked a physiotherapist to come observe her using it at one of her appointments, and she said it's giving her a nice heel-strike pattern to her walk, instead of dragging her bad foot around. It still sticks out to the side a little, but they said over time, that should vanish, as her brain figures out it doesn't need to do that anymore. They told me to get her to play soccer with John, so she gets used to jabbing her foot straight out in front, to reinforce those neural pathways. I was a little self-conscious taking her out and about in the brace at first, but now it's just normal. Unlike the hand brace, which can be limited to home use, the leg brace must be worn at all times, so it's out there for everyone to see. A few people have definitely noticed it, but don't seem to know what it is. They just look a little confused, then go about their business. But it's pretty discreet. Most of it is covered by pants, and I chose a soft violet with little butterflies, so it's not that bold. Some of the patterns were pretty wild. if John had been there to help pick, she probably would have wound up with the neon race car pattern, or the electric pink flowers, or something like that. The next big hurdle is finding the right shoes for it. She has to wear shoes over it, but they have to be a wide width, which is hard to find in kids' shoes. We found one pair, but the soles were so clunky, that combined with the AFO, she just couldn't get anywhere. So with her OT's blessing, we switched her back to Robeez, just for traction, until she's used to the brace itself, then will step it up to the shoes as well, so it's less frustrating for her. Her OT said that's totally fine, because she's been so used to soft shoes, the brace PLUS hard shoes was probably too much for her to handle, and seemed to lead to a lot of the frustrations in the first few days. But the shoes we got were too big anyway, so we have to go back on the hunt. Sigh. Other than that, she's fine. She's in a really clingy stage. She won't sleep unless she's in our bed. Even if I sneak her back to her own in the night, she wakes up within minutes, and howls to come back. It drives Mike nuts, because it's him she wants to cuddle with, not me. So he's waking up with this little body smushed against him, and no matter how far over he moves, she shimmies over to smush right back in. It's a phase - John went through it too, at this age. I think it's because she's weaned herself, so she needs that extra creature comfort that used to come from nursing. Unfortunately, John never likes to be left out, so he's been sneaking back into our bed at night, too. So all four of us, including my huge belly, are all squished into our bed. Should be extremely interesting, if they're still doing it once baby three arrives. Maybe I'll just leave the kids with Mike, and go sleep with the baby on the couch. Needless to say, we think our next bed will be a king.

On the John front, it's all about school, school, school! I went to the orientation last week, to get the rule book, and meet his teacher. I think he's going to like her, but I think the first day is going to be rough. He still remembers Becky and Sue, his teachers from Best Start, and misses them terribly. He still seems to think they're going to be there at this school, no matter how many times I explain it to him. The first class is a parented one - I have to be there to introduce him to the system and help him settle in. At first i thought it was a silly thing, but now that it's getting close and Becky and Sue talk has been increasing, I'm thinking it might be good to have me there to talk him through it, and explain the situation to the new teacher if he finds it upsetting. I know he'll be fine overall - the absence of Becky and Sue is the only thing I'm worried about. If he has a meltdown at all, it will be over that.

His first class is on Wednesday (Sept 3). He's already getting prepared, with a unique outfit he's selected, and has been wearing around the house, just in case school suddenly starts without warning, I guess. It consists of a camo bike helmet, which is styled like an army helmet, a pair of neon green sunglasses, snow boots, shorts, his backpack, an umbrella, and the T-shirt his school sent home for him, for field trip days. He's prepared for everything...and nothing. It's quite a sight. When he first put on this crazy ensemble, he walked up to us, his face completely deadpan, and stated "My name... is Four." We couldn't stop laughing. We're still laughing, to be honest. Mike's trying to add to the image by teaching him various communist and fascist solutes and chants. I think this is honestly the look John has in mind for the first day of school. And you know, OK. It's not hurting anything. He says he wants his teacher to laugh, and there's no way she won't, so if he emerges from his room next Wednesday as Four, all the power to him.

In random news, Mike is murmuring about a road trip to Dryden in the very late fall/early winter. I guess he got some not-so-great-news about people's state of health, and is feeling a strong tug to come home. But we'll see what the fall brings, in terms of work and school and babies and whatnot. It won't be a plane trip with me and three kids - he wants to come for this one too, so it will be a big family thing.

We thought briefly about buying a minivan. They're awfully cheap these days. But we're going to hold off a little. We decided it would be better to spend our extra cash closing out credit card accounts, rather than upgrading now. A minivan is definitely in our future, but not for a little while yet. We'll see how horrible it is with three car seats in the back of the Nissan first. I think it was the right decision. I see people with three kids in little sedans all the time. And it allowed us to pay off two more credit cards, which was a good feeling. Just one more to go! Woohoo! Oh, and a few pesky student loans. Amazing how much debt we got ourselves into. I don't know how we survived it without going bankrupt. But the end is in sight, and the savings are growing, which is nice.

I keep looking for my old house on MLS, but it looks like the guy who bought it is actually living in it, which would be awesome, if true. Jeremy said he saw it now and then, as he rode past on the bus. All the trim has been redone, and this spring, they were replacing the front porch. I imagine he did the roof right away. If the trim looked new, maybe he replaced the windows too. Jer wouldn't be able to tell that, though, especially from a bus. If we're ever back in southern Ontario, we're going to go check it out. Not sure if we're going to be creepy and ask for a look inside, but I'd love to know how much has been changed.

Speaking of houses, ours has an offer on it. There's a home inspection on Tuesday. The agent says he doesn't know what the buyer's plans are for the place. It may even fall through with the inspection - it's in rough shape, this old place, and the buyer didn't take a very good look around himself. I have a feeling we'll be moving Nov 30. They re-rented the other side last month, so now WE'RE the ones with an expiring lease. So, our side will probably be renovated first, if that's the plan. I can't see it being a good investment otherwise. If he's doing an inspection, he's probably not going to doze it, which means he's likely going to renovate it into one of those swanky apartments, and re-rent for a small fortune. It could be a blessing in disguise. I think with another kid, this place is going to feel a little cramped. We figured we could go another year here, but it might be better to get something slightly larger. But we'll see how it unfolds. I'm so not interested in moving again so soon. Not sure yet if we get one or two months notice that our lease isn't being renewed - I'll have to dig up our lease to find out. I think it's two, but I could be wrong.

way cool video

Something cool to see while I wait for camera batteries to charge - and a free minute. Thought I'd have some writing time this morning, but John is already awake. This is from the ultrasound I had this week. Baby 3 at 34 (nearly 35) weeks.

Everything's fine, by the way. I did have too much fluid - the technician said 20 is too much - I have 23. The baby is also on the bg side - it's just over 6 pounds now, in the 70th percentile, so not super huge, but on the bigger end. She said it will likely wind up being between 8.5 and 9 pounds. The OB is sending me for a follow-up ultrasound in a week and a half. But she thinks it will have normalized by then - I was only measuring one week ahead yesterday. However, in the event it's still there, or is escalating, she'll probably induce me about two weeks early, to prevent a natural labour. If the water breaks in a big gush, it can cause bleeding in me, and cord prolapse I think it's called in the baby (which is exactly what happened with Joan - her cord was pinned next to her shoulder. Why they didn't do a C-section, I have no idea, knowing what I know now. If I get another resident trying to deliver this one, I think I reserve the right to have a pregnant-lady freak-out, and insist on a real doctor.)

Other than that, things are going well. it's been a busy time with doctors. Joan gets her leg brace next Wednesday, and they've stepped her physio appointments up to weekly, in an attempt to help her relax and make friends with them. They've also cut it down to one therapist at a time, instead of the panel of poking, prodding fingers we usualy face. We had our first one-on-one session, and it went great! She played and laughed, and actually didn't want to go at the end! It was great.

John's doing great, too. He had his first kiss from a girl a few days ago! I had taken him to the park, and a 6-year-old named Sara was there with her grandpa. They chummed around the whole time, but when it was time to go, she threw her arms around John and gave him an embarassingly long, wet lip kiss. It was so wet, they both wiped their faces on their sleeves afterwards. The grandpa and I were both holwing. John doesn't like to talk about it, though. But not from embarrassment - I don't think it meants anything to him. When Mike asked him what happened at the park that day, the highlight was finding a tiny ball on the ground. Sara didn't even come up without prodding.

I've been trying to get the kids out and about before summer is over, and Baby 3 arrives. The city runs a park program, which travels around. We were able to get to one for a couple of mornings. Next week, it swings close to home again, so I'm planning to take them as much as I can, working around doctor's appointments, as usual. It's really just for John, but Joan joins in with crafts and stuff too - it's for 3-5 year-olds. They do little crafts, and play games. The first day we went, I was so embarrassed. He was there with a bunch of very proper little girls. He made me a necklace, then they tried to play Red Light, Green Light. Of course, all the girls folowed the rules to a tee. Then, there's my kid. The light turned red, and John shouted "IT'S GREEN!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!" And off he shot. The girs were thoroughly disgusted, but the one other boy tagged along, as every mom on the sidelines howled. Then they tried to play a dancing game, where they did various dance moves, then sat on command. Yeah. That was doomed from the get go. He played along with the dancing moves, but when it came time to sit, he would spin wildly, and scream "I'M A HELICOPTER!!!!" It really annoyed one of the little girls, who, every time, would jump up, point at John and yell "YOU LOSE!" as the moms on the sidelined all howled. Except for me, who turned progressively deeper shades of red.

I almost didn't go back the next day, but he woke up early and got himself dressed so I'd take him, so I couldn't say no. But day 2 went much better. It was all boys that day. It must just be a boy thing, because there were NO games that day. The teacher tried, but couldn't get anything organized. They spent the entire time pretending to be bulldozers in the beach volleyball court. At one point, the teacher wet down the sand, so they could do sand castles. One of the parents turned to me and said "won't that be kind of muddy?" And I replied "It's just wet sand. They can hose it off at the end." And right on cue, my kid found the one patch of wet dirt, which had turned to soupy, goupy mud. He was throwing great handfulls into the air, chanting "WE WANT MUD! WE WANT MUD!"

We also found an outdoor pool a few blocks away that the kids love. We've started getting John to swim in his life jacket, so he's not afraid of the water anymore. The first day we went, he stayed in there for three hours, and I had to drag him out! It's only good for heat waves, though. But we've got another going on now, so I think I'll take them back in the next couple days. Joan LOVES it! She splashes and kicks and giggles. She just loves to swim! We've also found a few beaches, for when Mike has days off or gets off early. Unfortunately, most of the beaches are near Red Deer. We're working on finding a closer one that we like, but most of the water around Calgary is rivers.

Anyway, I'd better go. Hope you enjoy the video. If anyone has trouble seeing it, let me know. I'll probably download it to youtube when I have a few more minutes, in case anyone has issues with this format. Pictures coming soon! I know it's been a while.Things just seem so busy here, though I know they're not. I just can't do as much as I used to, as fast as I used to. I'm in slow motion, but time keeps moving just as fast. And yet the OB is STILL telling me to get more sleep. I told her that every time I sit down, I fall asleep, thinking maybe my iron had slipped too low - the test she did show it low, but she said it was still well within normal, so that's probably not my issue. But she said it's pretty normal to feel that tired, when you have two little kids, and try to sleep with a lead balloon attached to your belly. Just rolling over in bed is quite the performance, which I guess is affecting my sleep more than I realize.

medical update...

I know. How dull. You all want pictures! Unfortunately, our internet is being buggy on the big computer, so pictures will have to wait until Mike has a look. I'm using his laptop right now, which has no pictures on it. I'm married to a Telus tech, but have the worst TV quality, and a buggy internet connection. Go figure.

Anyway, there's a bit of medical news thought you might want to keep up on. Joan had her hearing test this week. They put her and i and an audiologist in a soundproof booth, then another audiologist went to another booth, to make various noises at her. The audiologist with me played with her to keep her distracted in one direction, while noises were piped from the other, to see if she'd look in the direction of the noise. She had me a little nervous - she didn't look at all for a lot of te high pitched and quiet noises. But they said all is well - at thhis age, sometimes the toys are more interesting than the noises, so they tested the "problem" tones several times, and she looked enough for them to say she can hear them. They tested her ear drums and inner ears too - all is well. So they said her hearing is perfect, to near-perfect - defintely not the cause of her delayed speech. So what else could be causing it? Well, it could just be that the area of the brain responsible for speech is a big black hole. But that's just my amateur opinion. It's nice that they're taking precautions, though, to rule out everything else.

She's getting her leg brace made next week. They start with a cast, then they build the brace from a plaster mould of her leg that's made from the cast. Each one will last a few months, at a cost of roughly $1600 a pop. But most of the cost is covered by the government - the most we'll pay is $500 each year, which is really nice. It's actually a more generous funding program than Ontario. Joan's OT is also from Ontario, and she told me Alberta is the best place to be with a sick kid - despite the look-after-yourself mentality that exists out here, there's certain things the government takes very seriously, and funds up the wazoo, and sick or disabled kids is one of them. You just have to see this hospital to see that! It's quite a place. If you want to see what it actually is she's getting, it's called an AFO. If you do a google search, you'll see pictures. Hers will come right up to her knee.

She's been trying to walk by herself since getting back from holiday. She's becomming very, very good at standing unassisted, and can even manage to get into standing in the mifddle of the floor - with nothing to hang onto! It's quite a sight! She practices for hours during the day, sometimes. But like everything else, she practices in soft places - like the bed. But she's gotten up enough confidence to stand by herself right on the floor, if I'm close enough for grabbing, if she feels herself fall. Yesterday, she took it to the next level, and tried to take a step! She fell, of course, but it was in a fit of giggles, and she got up to try it again. John started walking the same way - sort of a step-leap kind of action. It might take her a long time to walk yet, though. She leads with her right, because most of her weight is still on her left, so it may take her a while to be able to bear enough weight on her right to take a step. The brace should help. Even when she's standing, if she has no clothes on you can see clearly from how her hips and back are cocked, that she's got most of her weight on the left.

In other medical news, I'm getting another ultrasound, for several reasons. I'm having some strange pains that I don't remember with the other two. Searing, cramping pains along the top - lots of pressure and sharp pains along the bottom. As well, I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead of schedule. It could be a big baby. It could just be because the baby has become dislodged, and is currently free-floating, just like Joan was. It could be too much fluid, like Joan had. (Though with her, it was undiagnosed until they broke my water, resulting in two very wet doctors.) It could just be because this is my third, and things are a little lax. Anyway, the ultrasound will show the cause - the OB says she isn't worried, and I shouldn't be, either. This is just a precaution. She says the pressure i feel isn't early labour, becasue if it was, the baby's head would be lodged in my pelvis, and right now, it's not, even though it was with the last visit.

Anyway, I'd better go. John is up, and Joan is stirring, too. Mike has a rare day off, so I think we're going back to the beach. He's only scheduled for three days off in all of August, so we're trying to make the most of our few summer days as a family.

Oh, by the way, we have no-one living in our basement, after all of that! Jer found a place with a friend from Dryden, thinking that we'd have a co-worker of Mike's in our spare room. But when we went on vacation, the co-worker couldn't reach Mike, and got nervous, so he went ahead and found another place to live. So we get to stay a nuclear family! Yay!

we're back

Just a quick note to let you know, we're finally back in Calgary, after a three week tour of Dryden and Geraldton. Phew! No time to download the camera yet, or share the many, many funny moments. Those will come. I have just three days to turn around and be off for a cabin in BC. It's not much time, considering I had a bachelor living here alone for three weeks. It could be worse. But not by much.

The trip home was rough. John was sad the whole time. After the two hours or so of him droning "noooo...nooooo....nooooo" from the back seat, on our way to the airport, we discovered the photo album Mike's parents had assembled. At first it made him laugh. Then, it made him cry. I've never seen him so genuinely sad before. It was heartbreaking. Then Joan got carsick. That was really fun.

Physically getting on the plane was relatively easy. But then, the moping started. John moped, and Joan squirmed. John perked up a little when he struck up a conversation with the guy behind us. The guy gave him a loonie when he got off in Regina (a 30-min stopover). But when John tried to show it to the girl behind him for the Regina to Calgary leg, he dropped it, never to be seen again, which just amplified the moping. Oh, and then there was the poo incident. I have no idea when it happened. Hopefully very close to the end. John pooped on the plane without telling me. And of course, I have no sense of smell, so I had no idea. But I'm sure everyone else on the plane could tell. So Joan reeked of vomit, and John had poopy pants. I'm sure our neighbours just looooved us! He finally told me just as we were about to leave the plane. He asked if there was a bathroom in the airport, because he'd poped his pants. ANd sure enough, he was doing the poopy walk down the isle. Lovely. So I got him cleaned up, though he had to lose his underwear in the process. As I was cleaning him in the bacthroom, he said "I made the airplane stink. That was really funny!" Delightful child. We made our way down to baggage, where Mike was nowhere to be found. So I got on a payphone to find him. While I was talking, John said he pooped again. So I checked him, but couldn't find anything. But when we got home, we found a giant streak of poop all down his leg and his socks. Don't forget, he had no underwear on at this point. So there just may be a John poop sitting in the Calgary airport, which slipped down the legs of his pants, and onto the floor.

Anyway, it was an adventure. Joan was out before we even got home. John was out, but woke up when we tried to slip him into bed, so we gave him a bath and he crawled in with us. He's still out. Joan woke up just a while ago, and has been shovelling in the Cheerios. (We hadn't fed her too much yesterday, hoping it would keep her from getting sick again.) She needs a bath, badly, but generally seems happy to be home. John, I'm not so sure. He wimpered a lot in the car ride from the airport to home, but seemed happy when he was in bed with us. Hopefully, he'll be OK. We'll have to get him back to Dryden again soon. That was definitely my last flight alone with the kids. I'm not doing that with three! Besides, we're probably blacklisted in WestJet's computer now, for emitting too many unpleasant odours. But we'll find a way. Mike's thinking next time, he'll drive us home, fly back, leaving me the car, and then fly back and drive us home a few weeks later. But we'll see.

Better go! Pictures will be downloaded soon, but I have a lot of work to do first! Mike's hoping to show his friend from work who needs a place to stay the basement room today or tomorrow, and of course we're turning right around and leaving town again, so I need the place tidied up again for the real estate agent anyway. Ugh. Right back to the drudgery of life. But everything else is fine. The baby's still alive - lots of strange contraction type sensations on the trip to Winnipeg, which had me a bit nervous. But I think it was just the sensation of it flipping around. I swear I feel a little head on the side now, and it's kicking to the opposite side, instead of up, so I may be right. But no labour yet, and it still appears to be alive, which is all that really matters at this point. As long as it holds off until August, when we're back in the city and settled in, that's all I care about!

a little brag!

Ok. Just too excited not to share! Joan stood all by herself TWICE yesterday! A new milestone reached! Yay for Joan! The first time, i don't even think she knew she was doing it. She tends to brace herself against walls with her hip, and she just pushed off with her hip, and was floating free for a few seconds. The second time was deliberate. She was in the drained tub, waiting to be pulled out. She had let go with her right hand, and was looking like she really wanted to let go with her left. But she was bent forward, so it looked awkward for her. So i offered her my hand, so she could pull upright - so she took it, stood up...and then she let go! She stood there all wobbly and looking a little freaked out for a good four seconds, before putting her hand down again! She hasn't done it again today, but now she knows she can, so I think it will turn up more and more often.


She had a physio appointment today! It went great. Because she's mastered a lot of the things we've started with, they're upping her goals quit a bit. Due to everyone's holiday time, we won't be back until early August. In the meantime, they want me to teach her how to cruise along a flat surface, like a wall, and climb stairs. They said a good way of doing the flat wall thing is to start at the fridge, with lots of fridge magnets that she can push around. If it's a fun place to be, she'll be more likely to get up on her own to play there. Right now, she's only pulling up against tables. Cruising down hallways is also good - it's to build trunk support. I'm supposed to brace her against a wall and let her go. She'll need a ton of tummy time to help her get it done. That and stairs - they said it's good exercise to build those pulling-up muscles. We can start with any low platform. She's always trying to climb up on John's bed, so they suggested we start there, and move up to real stairs as soon as she's able. We're supposed to do tummy time with a little pillow under her belly to start, to get her right up on all fours. She plays on her tummy now a lot, but she plays propped up on her elbows. It's good for loadbearing work for her upper body, but not as good for mobility. They tried to do it there, but she was having none of it. But we usually have better success with their assignments at home, which they said is the norm, so hopefully it will go well. So be prepared! These are big, big goals they've set for her, and these are the things we'll need to work on while we're in Dryden and Geraldton. Looks like we'll be spending a lot of our visit in everyone's stairwells and hallways. :-P We're also supposed to provide a lot of sensory stuff, too. The stroke can cause a change in sensation to the affected side. Some kids can feel more - others can feel less than normal. Part of what her hand brace does is provide pressure and sensory stimulation, so for kids who have very little sensation, it can get some neurons firing. Joan seems to be in the low-sensory category. Now that she's got the brace, she seems to have a heightened awareness of her right side. She's finding object with different sensations and stroking her right arm with them, which is something she's never done before. So fabric, or cotton balls, or crumpled paper - anything she finds. It's pretty neat to see, and the therapists said that's exactly the type of thing they wanted to see from the brace, so to keep the sensory input coming, and to lay it on thick.

We signed John up for preschool yesterday. Not the one we were thinking of before. We found an academic one that filled up months ago, but they opened up a new class, due to the high demand, and we managed to snag a spot! yay! it sounds a lot like his school in Hamilton, and a LOT like real JK. They take trips in the community, like to the library, and to Safeway, where they'll learn about nutrition, and to the firehouse, where they'll learn about fire safety. They do an annual trip to the zoo, too, which sounds cool. It's located in a school, though not our school. It's right next door to a library and a public pool, and near several major shopping centres, so I can do things with Joan and run errands while he's there, though it isn't far from home either. I thought at first, when I saw the pool, that I should take Joan swimming while he's there - it's one of the things they recommend for her in therapy - splashing is a great way to build muscle. But I realized, hey, I'm going to have a newborn in September. So that might nix that. We'll see. Maybe I can get a waterproof carrier of sorts for the new baby, so we can still go now and then. But anyway, this school solves a lot of the problems I had with the other place - one, it's taught by properly trained and board certified teachers and ECEs - the other was taught by ECE students and recreation grads. To me, that's a big, big deal. It's the teachers who made the real difference in the Best Start program. They were amazing, and really helped him blossom. Two, there's a common snack. The other place, we had to provide snacks ourselves, which I think would lead to snack envy, and a hoarding mentality. Snack seems like such a trivial thing, but I think it's an important thing in preschool, because it peer pressures them into trying new foods, and it shows them how to share, like at a normal family dinner table.

Anyway, better go. Lots of niggly jobs to do before the flight this weekend. Bloodwork to get done (the dreaded glucose test), W inc paperwork to do. Lots of mailing, lots of faxing, lots of forms. Lots of fun, fun, fun!

Mike...

I'm going to try to get that camera up and running again. This blog is looking dull. And you have to see Joan's cute little curls! Her hair is really coming in - she has her dad's wavy curls.

Speaking of dad, he's down sick. He's been off sick for FOUR DAYS! I don't know if it's the weather, with all this non-stop cold and damp, or if the bugs here are just more stubborn than what we're used to. He finally went to the doctor last night, after taking an obscene number of painkillers for two achey ears and a sore throat. They think both ears are infected, so he's on antibiotics now. Hopefully, he'll feel better in the morning. And more importantly, hopefully no-one else will catch this one! It hasn't been all bad having him around - it's let us tag team with the kids - while he's up, playing video games, I can sneak off for a nap. It's really helped - both the marathon contractions and headaches have completely stopped!

Kids are still doing great. Joan's physio is going well, and she's liking her new hand brace - when she wears it, she brings her right hand in to play a lot more. She tolerates it for about half an hour a day now. We're supposed to work up to two hours a day, and they'll assess how well it's working at the next appointment. But I can already tell it's making a difference. We've been working on the language, too. We're supposed to keep track of her gestures, and she has quite a repetoire. She also has more words than we initially realized - we just needed to listen harder. And get her away from John! He kind of dominates the conversation, to put it mildly. Today, I went for groceries with just Joan and I, while Mike watched John, and she was doing great. She asked for apples! She pointed wildly at the apples and shouted "Ap! Ap! Ap!" So I put some in a bag, and she was happy. She asked for bananas, too! But it sounded more like "ah-AH-ah! Ah-AH-ah!" It was pretty neat. Usually, she's quiet, but maybe she's just letting John do all the talking. Hopefully, we can get more opportunities to have one-on-one time with her. She's learning her colours too! We played a game with her Duplo last night, after John went to bed. I showed her all the colours, then asked her to find certain ones from the bucket, like "can you find another yellow?" About half the time, she got it right. You could really see her thinking. Though a lot of times, she was ignoring me, and just building rocket ships. It was hillarious - she'd build a big stack, then she'd make it fly through the air, with the appropriate "flying rocket" sound effect, that John taught her.

John's doing well, too. He's getting very excited about his fourth birthday. He knows it's coming, and is looking forward to cake! He talks about it all the time! He wants something very specific as a present, but I'm not sure we're going to get it. it's called trap jaws - a truck/shark hybrid thing. Not sure he needs yet another truck, though. Maybe painting supplies. I think he'd like dess-up stuff, too. A tool kit, or a doctor kit. They don't get the attention of trucks at the toy store, but I think he'd get a lot out of something like that. When I went to pick him up at the sibling room today, he was Dr. John - complete with a little plastic stethascope. He had a blast! (Dr. John is one of his favourite personas - followed closely by Worker Man John. He loves it when one of us is sick - we become his patients. He has excellent bed-side manner).

Our building is still unsold, but apparently there was an offer. But it all fell through right at the last minute, according to the agent. We had a second showing a ouple days ago. A very wealthy-looking oriental couple. The agent said the word from those interested, is they'd like to keep it as a duplex, but renovate the neighbour's side (their lease wasn't renewed, so they''re moving at the end of the month), then offer us the other side, and renovate our side while it's vacant. Obviously, it's to get more in rent. It makes us a little nervous - not sure just how high it could go. But we'll play it all by ear, and see what comes our way.

The city is starting to gear up for Stampede - stringing lots of banners and stuff. I think it's the second week in July or something. I'm not looking forward to it - I hear the crowds shut down the city, and we live fairly close to the action. But if anyone wants to see the Stampede, but are deterred by the solidly booked hotels, you're welcome to bunk with us! Mike booked some time off in July, and is planning to rent us a cabin in the mountains, to take John fishing and canoeing, and escape the city before it becomes a bad idea for me to be too far from the hospital. But I don't think the dates completely overlap.

Anyway, Joan is getting bored, and I think Mike is stirring, so better go!

baby three...

just a quick note on baby 3 - I had an OB appointment yesterday. (Have I mentioned that we've been in a lot of doctor's offices lately?)

She said the baby looks awesome - heart rate was 161, it's head down, and squirming all over. It's growing on schedule, and all test results so far are normal. I've been getting lots of really severe headaches lately. She told me to up my Tylenol dose for now, and watch for spots. If that happens, go to emerg right away. She said my blood pressure is consistantly as perfect as can be, but sometimes blood pressure complications can happen even in people with good blood pressure, which seems a bit odd to me. She also told me to keep a close eye on my Braxton Hicks contractions. She said they're a bit too aggressive for this stage of pregnancy (27 weeks). They come in long, long spurts, and sometimes by the time they end, they're actually getting painfull. She said if they go on for more than a 45 minute stretch, to head to the hospital for an assessment, just to make sure my cervix isn't getting over-eager. She's really convinced this delivery will be very fast, because my body's already done it twice. So she warned me if it does turn into real labour, I may not have time to get to the hospital, so I need to pay attention. I'm not sure what to do - I have contractions almost constantly some days. Now and then they hurt, though mostly they're just really annoying and uncomfortable. She switched me to appointments every two weeks, and told me to get more sleep, to see if that would help settle down the headaches. I did manage to get a nap yesterday, and it did help soften it up a lot. I'm sure it's more likely tension than blood pressure, and she seemed to agree. I'm not TOO concerned about the contractions. I remember with John and Joan, they definitley increased with stress, and things have been a bit tense here lately, with Mike's long hours and no days off. And it's harder for me to keep up on my end of stuff - my hips are just completely out-of-whack this time, which makes it really painful to walk and bend a lot of days. If I do a lot of cleaning in one day, it's all I can do to shuffle off to bed at night, it hurts so much! It's terrible. I'm falling apart! I'm trying to get John to help with some of the tidying, but he's only three - I can only expect so much. But he's happy to do what he does do, which is great.

Anyway, better go. It's fast approaching lunch and nap time! Mmmmm.....nap.....

joan's physio

Joan had her second physio appointment today. It was a biggie! Lots got done. They pulled in the speech pathologist, and they also made her a brace for her hand. We were there a whopping three hours! But it was good. I got lots of questions answered, and got some straight facts, which was nice.

Joan was extremely shy when we first arrived at the therapy room. She spent a good chunk of the first hour with her face burried in my shirt. Though they did manage to coax her to play with a puzzle. By the end, she was interacting and playing with them, but it was slow going. So the speech pathologist never actually heard her utter a single sound. But she asked a million questions. She feels things are going alright. She has all the building blocks of speech. I'm supposed to pay close attention over the next two weeks to gestures, and note their frequency and purpose. Obviously, gestures are the precurser to speech. We're supposed to try to get her to mimic us more, and make a special point of using lots of gestures, and point things out in the world for her. They're going to hold off on formal testing for the time being, because the pathologist doesn't think it's needed. She may be naturally delayed - genetics plays a role - both mike and john were relatively late speakers, so it may just be how she's designed to be naturally. But just in case, they're ordering a hearing test, similar to the one she had at a few weeks old. But this one is a little more elaborate than a set of headphones. It'll be done in a soundproof booth, and they can test more frequencies now that she's older. She says it's routine for all patients whose parents are concerned about a lack of talking. But she said not to be concerned about words vanishing - that's completely normal. Especially with kids like this - there's often a more extended period between when a word first appears, and when it becomes in common use. In between, it can vanish for a much longer period of time than a normal kid, which is normal for them, but alarming for parents. But she's being watched and assessed by a therapist, which is a very good thing.

The therapists saw good things from our work over the last two weeks - they could notice her progress pretty easily, which was nice. We need to keep plugging on, and they added a few other games and things. They added some things to strengthen the right side of her trunk, because she spends so much time on her left hip. They gave me a few games to strengthen her upper back as well.

As I said, they also made her glove, which was pretty exciting. They made it right while we waited. It took them ages, with fitting after fitting after fitting. After it all, I asked how much. It cost us $1! I howled when they said that. In Hamilton, they warned me that the hand braces are expensive, because they're custom made. But there, they have to bring in someone from the outside. In this place, they have a sewing room, and the OTs make them themselves.

They showed me the pool, too. Yup, they have a pool right inside the hospital! Most of the kids in therapy really enjoy the pool, so they do a fair bit of water therapy, and Joan may be prescribed that too, down the road. Have I mentioned what an amazing place this is?

They also invited me to a parent thing, where other parents with kids in therapy come and talk about the struggles of the diagnosis process, and how they feel about everything. They said it can be really helpful. I think i might just go, though it's not for a few weeks. Thought I may not meet another famly just like us. Joan is a rarity, even for a big hospital like this, they said. They may get a case of two each year of these strokes. They said if we want down the road, they can hook us up with some other parents with Joan's exact condition - they have one on their roster whose son is five right now. Then, we can have someone out there who'se been through what we're going through right now, and it might give us a better idea of what to expect from Joan, and from the hospital experience. Other than that, any group things will be with kids that are similar, but not exactly the same.

One very serious thing came out of this meeting. I'm hesitant to put this here, because I'm concerned how people will react. But I've had a few weeks to let it all sink in, and i feel better about it, now that I've actually gotten some real answers from her therapy team. I think there's value to a certain degree of transparency, so I'm going to put it in. Joan's actual "diagnosis" is cerebral palsy. That term has swirled around her since her initial diagnosis, way back in Hamilton. So I finally came out and asked if that's what she's got, and they said yes. It went unsaid, because they don't generally attach that label until after the kid turns two. Obviously, what society thinks of when they think of cerebral palsy does not even remotely match what Joan is. But in medical terms, it's brain damage caused between conception and two years of age, and manifests itself in the motor skills. It can have a million causes - one happens to be stroke. She has the spastic variety, which means a tightening of the muscles - not the herky jerkies a lot of people might think of - that's a different kind. The reason the label doesn't usually get attached until two is because sometimes, the stroke is so mild, that it's largely just swelling, when it's fresh. Then, over a couple of years, the swelling goes down, leaving the scar. In some cases, there is a miniscule scar, and the motor damage doesn't stay, in which case, the diagnosis isn't made. But it Joan's case, because the damage was extensive, and has affected her motor abilities, even a year and a half later, when most of the swelling is gone, the term, by definition, applies to her.

I was very, very upset when I first put two and two together, and realized she did, in fact, have cerebral palsy. It carries a very serious stigma with it. But I'm starting to come to terms with it, and I hope all of you can, too, at the very least for Joan's sake. It's just a word. They still see bright things in her future. She's not mentally handicapped. She's going to be OK. She's still the giggly little goofball she was yesterday. Her case is very mild. She'll never be catatonic, drooling in a wheel chair. The damage is done - it won't get worse. At the end of the day, it's just a word, and you have to make a choice on what emotional weight you want to grant it.

That said, it is a "disablity". (Oh, how I hate that word!) And because of that, we actualy should qualify for a disability tax credit, because we have a "disabled dependent". It means whomping tax breaks, and a huge increase to our child benefit cheques, once all the paperwork goes through. We haven't started it yet. The therapists said they'd help get us through, but it's got to be done by a doctor - typically a pediatrician. We have a referral to a pediatrician in August, so they said to print out the government form, and take it along when we go. The pediatrician can take it from there, and the therapy team will back it up. It also lets us claim our portion of her braces and walkers, and even tutors, if she needs them down the road, on our taxes. It gives her extra tuition and book tax credits for university. All in all, it's a good thing. I don't like the stigma of it, though. I don't like the labels at all. I don't want her to have that "oh, I can't do it because I'm disabled" crutch, as an excuse to stop trying when things get tough for her. But for the time being, it could come in handy, if we go for it, and the approval goes through. Mike and I have some talking to do about it, obviously. We had decided when we saw the MRI, and realized the full extent of the damage, that we wanted to make her life as normal as possible - to treat her condition as trivial as possible. It may be harder with an official designation like that. So we have some decisions to make, for sure.

Anyway. The natives are getting restless, so I'd better go!

stilll...kicking....

Just stopping in to let you know we're all still alive! Things have beena little busy here, to say the least. But my belly and back are aching from standing at the sink to do dishes, so thought I'd do something productive with my recovery time. I definitely don't have the stamina I used to. I'm so glad we're living in a bungalow! No more four storeys of stairs to climb. I get winded just climbing the hill to the driveway most days. It's pretty sad. Being sick doesn't help, though. I have a bad cold that I just can't shake. It's starting to ease off now, but it sucks not being able to breathe, and being so tired.

Kids are doing awesome. Joan's physio is going great. Our next appointment is Thursday, and I can't wait to show off her progress. We've been following the instructions, and doing all our stretches, and it's really paid off. Her hamstrings are much, much better now. They were so shortened, they were giving her bad posture, but now she can sit right up straight, and sit with her legs straight out in front without crying. She only balks at one of the stretches now - it's twisting her arm so her palms face up. That muscle is still very, very stiff, which is to be expected - it was the most severely affected by the stroke. I feel like it hasn't progressed at all in the last week or so. But with the rest, she's doing great.

John's doing well, too. He's very eager to start preschool! He keeps trying to convince me that the leaves are turning colour, because it's fall and time to start school! We found one offered by the city that I think we're going to go with. It's preschool mixed with games, held at one of the rec centres. So they take them skating and swimming in the building, and give them open gym time, as well as all the usual circle time and singing and stuff. Mike thinks that would be really fun for him, and we can suplement it with these little short-term academic-type ones, they offer, if we see the need. But really, he's doing so well. He's become obsessed with letters, and he's learning them so quickly! I don't think he'll be reading by four, but I think he'll have most of the building blocks in place. he's working on letters and their sounds, and from there, reading is just a matter of stringing them together. He's also very big on anatomy as well - probably because we've spent so much time in doctor's offices lately. He loves to pour over their little models and diagrams. He knows an aweful lot! The doctors love it - they've all been great about taking the time to explain everything he sees, and answer all his questions. I think he learned more about the thyroid than he'll ever need to know, the last time we were at the OB. They just opened an anatomy display for little kids at the science centre, so I'm hoping if Mike ever gets a day off, we can take him - apparently, it talks about all the organs and where they are and what they do, and how they all work together, all told with Sesame Street Characters, so it's all age appropriate. Not sure I want to see Big Bird's innards, but I think he'd like it. Though it may be a little below him. He's so smart. I find we don't have to explain things to him very much at all - he just gets it with a quick explanation, so we try to be as frank and scientific as possible when he asks us questions, (and the doctor have all done the same, which is great - they never talk down to him.) The exception are his "soldiers", which are white blood cells. We invented that analogy so that he would eat and drink during a really big flu a while back, to give his soldiers the energy to fight the germs. it worked like a charm. Now when he's sick, he's not eating because he wants to, but because he needs to take care of his soldiers. It plays right into his uber-compassionate side. Though, sometimes, he gets things a little mixed up. He has this theory that beer, which he calls "beard" is in fact what gives dad his beard, because only dad drinks it, and only dad has a beard. He also has this theory that in place of brains, we have a set of gears, because that's what he saw one night in a chocolate bar commercial.

Mike's doing well, but I'm not sure how long he can keep up this pace. He's definitely feeling the effects of contractor favourtism. It's long hours, but awesome pay. So far, his pay works out to about $50/hour, which is nearly double what he was making as an employee. Not that we'll see any of it - most will sit in the business until Mike goes to school. It's completely insane. It's a good thing, though. We've had a lot of unexpected expenses, like the car, and we really didn't realize until we left Hamilton what a huge, huge hole we'd dug ourselves into financially. So big, we're STILL digging our way out! So more money is a good thing, to meet his university savings goals. But he works very hard for what he makes now. He comes home wiped every night, and he isn't expecting a day off in all of June. He wants to take a week off in July, because he knows he's really going to need it. But he's a little blue about it, because it means giving up $3,000 or so in pay, which is a hard loss to swallow. But going contract was definitely the right choice for us, financially. And for those of us who still think we're nuts for going limited instead of sole proprieter, in the end we actually didn't have a choice - it was a requirement of the contract. Yet despite these insane wages, they can't hire enough techs! They've been on a hiring spree for months, but it's hard to convince people to move for a job. They're getting so desparate, they're starting to take people without experience, and training them. The shortage is probably due to a renewed hiring spree in the oil sands. Apparently, they're trying to grow at a rediculous rate while oil costs are high, but they can't find people fast enough - and that's where the super-crazy money is. All this on the verge of a houseing price crash, because they've been building at such a frantic pace, there's now finally a surplus - at least in Calgary. So there's going to be cheaper housing...and crazy wages. The economy out here is just...goofy. And yet they can't find a couple billion to start JK in time for September, which really frosts me off! It's definitely a whole other world out here. I don't regret moving one bit - it's definitely been an adventure. But I know Mike is looking forward to getting back to school, so he can finally get a normal job. Like, one with time off!

the verdict

I'm sure you're all wondering what the neurologist had to say. We called our parents as soon as we could get a hold of each, but if we were to phone everybody, we'd be on the phone for days, so I'm going to post the details here. But if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask!

She did in fact have a stroke. It was a very large one, but the most common variety of neonatal stroke. It likely hapened right at birth, which they typically do, aparently. They don't know why they happen - it's an area of study for many universities, because there's such a pattern to it, but no-one knows exactly why it happens. They think it may be clots from the placenta escaping, as it detaches during birth. But they just don't know.

Her blockage was in the most common spot - in the central cerebral artery, I think it's called. It's the biggest of three arteries that feed the brain. Because it was such a large blood supply, the damage is fairly extensive - this was no mini-stroke! But it's isolated to her left side, which is good news.

Many of them are diagnosed right at birth, because the stroke often causes seizures, as early as a day old. When they see that, there's an MRI immediately. Other kids, like Joan, either never have seizures, or the seizure that typically comes shortly after birth is so mild, it's missed. In that case, the diagnosis is made when it was made for her - when it becomes obvious that the motor skills are delayed. There's a 10 per cent chance of her developing seizures. We've been told what to watch for, but because it sounds like she has yet to have one, her chances of developing them are small.

The prognosis:

• She should be able to lead a normal life, though any Olympic aspirations may never be realized.
• She will walk - probably by the time she's two.
• She will always have a weak side, which will probably result in a limp throughout her life
• She'll need to be in physiotherapy for most of her childhood, and possibly into adulthood.
• Mentally, she should be completely normal
• She may struggle in school, once more complex subjects start, such as math, reading and writing, which require both sides of the brain.
• Those difficulties may range from mild - that she just needs a lot of encourangement - to moderate - where she needs a tutor or at the worst, a modified program. That said, many kids never have any trouble in school.
• They'll do an extensive assessment when she's 5, to determine where she's at, and what, if any trouble spots, she has.
• She MAY need a speech therapist. The neurologist recommended it, to ensure she's on track. The therapists are leaning that way, too, but want to watch her a little longer.

We also saw the therapy team the same day. They're awesome! Here's a few of the things that came from that:

• She will need braces for both hand and leg, but not for a couple more months.
• She'll likely be getting a walker, to help her get around and build leg strength.
• They gave us a million stretches to do - she's lost a lot of range of motion - these will get it back.
• They're going very intensive to start - stretches at least 3x per day, and her next appointment's in two weeks - to get her to the level of flexibility they want to see.
• She's been referred to the neuromotor clinic as well. They'll mastermind all of her therapy, from physio to bracing to surgery, if need be, to keep her body growing properly.
• The "tone" ie how she clenches her fist a lot of the time - can, over time, cause skeletal deformations. The neuromotor clinic's job is to prevent that, and if it happens, to treat it. She may need orthopedic surgery down the road, but they do everything they can to prevent that, obviously.

That's about it, in a tight little nutshell. It was a lot to take in that day, but with time, we're feeling better about it all. There's a lot of guilt for us - me especially. There's been a lot of "if onlys" running through our minds. Like if only we'd taken the C-section route, instead of induction, this wouldn't have happened to her. But I guess we can't dwell on that stuff.

In other news, our building is up for sale. Yay. The owner died, and her son, who she left it to, doesn't want it. We got the news just as we got home from the hospital. So we were already having a pretty blue day, and then got that blow on top of it all. We thought we'd be out of a home, so we started loking around for a new place that night. But according to Alberta law, because we had a fixed lease, we're safe. The new owners can't evict us without cause, or raise our rent, or cut our lease short - they have to adopt the agreement we signed with the previous owners. So we're safe, at least until December, so it's not too bad. It could be much worse. We've had one showing, but no more on the horizon yet. The agent said things have gotten bad in Calgary over the last six months - property isn't the hot ticket it used to be, and buyers are refusing to pay the big money. Our place is listed at $599,000, which is higher than the assessment says it's worth right now. When we first moved here, tiny single-family bungalows were routinely being listed at $700,000. But they had already stopped selling for that cost, so they just sat...and sat...and sat....A handful have actually sold, but I doubt it was for anything close to full asking.

John's doing great. He's in a letter phase right now. He actually ate a slice of pizza into a T shape. I know my mom will get a kick out of that story - Uncle Adrian did that when he was a kid too. So John's inherited more than just his obsession with bodily functions!

tomorrow's the big day!

Wish us all luck - tomorrow is one of those "just survive the day" kind of days.

We have a long, stressful day scheduled at the Children's hospital. In the a.m. is Joan's first physio appointment, while John plays in the sibling room. They're both going to leave tired and crabby, only to be plunked in a noisy, crowded food court for lunch, followed by the whole family, John included, heading for a two-hour MRI reading with the neurologist. Mike is of course working, but is planning to sneak away for the neurology appt. It means losing money, because he's oficially a contractor now, but we both agree it's worth it. And true to form, the kids and I are all sick as dogs. All the makings of a totally awesome day, filled to the brim with meltdowns! Yay! On the upside, we'll get some answers about what's up with Joan's brain damage, and what kind of road we're headed down. It's been stressful watching CNN coverage of Ted Kennedy's brain tumor, because they get these neurologists on to talk about the map of the brain, and what's affected. According to them, right motor skills are physically intertwined with speech, understanding and writing in the brain. Hopefully, Joan's stroke is just a pinprick of a scar, like the pediatrician originally thought, so she won't have a lot of struggle ahead of her.

The next day won't be much more fun. We've got our car booked into a garage, to get a second opinion on $2,000 in allegedly "urgent" repairs. I've been scouring car message boards, for a local garage that might be better for us. Most of the most highly recommended ones were just lone guys in little shops. But we need one slightly bigger than that to do an out-of-province inspection. I managed to find one that several people recommended as being honest and reasonable, is apparently particularly good with oriental cars, and is even close by, so hopefully, we'll have better luck with him. Definitely no fun finding a mechanic in a new city.

So wish us all luck on both days! Good times.

this, that and other stuff

Sorry I haven't been in a while. I'm tired and pregnant and feeling sore and blechy most of the time, so just haven't felt up to stopping by, to be honest.



Let's see. Pregnancy is still a go. I had a third ultrasound last week, and was given all good news. They had called me back because the last technician couldn't get a clear look at the spine. This time, the baby was in the perfect position, so it was a quick in and out. Technician said everything looks good - nothing to worry about. I wanted to ask the gender so badly, but we'd already agreed to have yet another surprise.



The other kids are doing well. I was truly spoiled for Mother's Day. I got a big bouquet of dandilions and some sort of purple thing, picked from our yard and the neighbouring parking lot. John was so proud! "You like them, because they're nice!" he said, as he arranged them for me in a little cup of water. I also got a second surprise. I was doing dishes, when he came up and said "Mom! I made your Mother's Day present! Come see!" So I followed him to the bathroom, where he, in grandious fashion, lifted the potty lid to reveal... a huge poop. "Happy Mother's Day!" He said. It could have been worse - he could have left it somewhere more...creative.



He's passed into a delightful phase, in which he displayes a marked obsession with his bodily orifaces, and the disgusting things that ooz, squirt and slime out of them. It's very depressing for me, because I know this phase won't likely pass until well into high school, when he decides he wants a girlfriend. He puts his own John spin on it all, though. He asked me what snot was a few days ago. Not knowing what the answer was at all, I told him it was dead germs that his soldiers (our name for white blood cells) were pushing out of his body. He accepted that, but few days later, he asked if the germs in his snot were really dead. "I think so," I said. "Well, then who will take care of their kids?" he asked sadly. So I did some backtracking, and now the germs aren't really dead - snot is just the slime they make that can make you sick. So the germs are okay, and living happily with their families, but they can't make him sick anymore. Shockingly, he bought it. Then he went on about how the germs need to go to the hospital, and that the ambulances wil come take care of them when the soldiers hurt them, so that they will be okay.



We've decided that we're going to sign him up for preschool in September after all. We've been toying with the idea for a while, but the last straw was a few days ago, when we all went to the park. There was another boy there, who was 7, waiting for his league's soccer game to start. John was stuck to this kid like glue. They played tag, and chased each other around. Then the boy had to go. It was heartbreaking. John tried to convince me that he could go play on this boy's team, too. Then a little girl showed up, and John said "Oh boy!!! Another friend for me to play with!" and ran right up this 7-year-old 'tween, who was far too fabulous to pay him any mind, but he stuck to her like glue regardless. We really realized the full scope of the cruelty we were inflicting on our child. He's the most sociable creature on the face of the earth, and he's at home with boring old mom. This is a kid who'll run in from playing outside, squealing "Mom! I made a new friend! Come meet him!" And it turns out to be an ant or a worm. What we're doing just isn't right! So yeah, we're going to head out for a few tours and find one that's fun and social. We're not so concerned about academics - he's so smart, he doesn't really need help getting ready for school academically, which is good, because most of the "good" preschools are already into waiting lists. But he's got to have regular social time with a group of his peers. And the revolving door of faces he gets through little drop-in type programs just doesn't seem to be cutting it.

He got a special treat a few days ago - a nice long chat with Grandma Phillips. My mom got a full tour of his toy box, as he emptied it onto the floor. He thought that talk was great! He's still telling us all about his special call from Grandma. So if anyone else wants to light up his life a little, don't hesitate to call!

Joan's doing great, too. We're in this study at the hospital, andas much as it's inconvenient, I'm glad I'm doing it. It's a clinical study to test the effects of a course they've developed on the outcomes of physiotherapy. It's all about recognizing the non-verbal cues that kids send, and it's geared specifically for parents of physio kids. Like how to recognize when they just don't feel like doing something at the moment, vs they can't physically do it. How to tell if they want to do it with help, vs by themselves. So far, it's been really helpful, even though we're not in therapy just yet. It helps to see things in a different way. Like, the therapist in Hamilton said to do it one way, which hasn't been working. This helps to think of new ways to do it, based on the uniqueness interests and moods of the kid themselves. It's a much more holistic way of looking at therapy. They say they get much better results this way, and I believe it. I've been applying some of the ideas, and they've really helped remotivate Joan. I've actually seen her get down on her belly and try to crawl, which she hasn't had any interest in doing for months. One of the best parts is the other moms and the instructors. It's run by actual physiotherapists, so they know exactly what I'm talking about when I discuss specific situations with Joan. Even though they've never seen her, they've been able to give me great advice and ideas, because they're so familiar with the condition. Meeting the other moms has made me realize that we're not so bad off. We're the mildest case. There's another little girl at the same developmental level and the same age, but she has seizures as well. Another has cystic fibrosis. Others have too many problems to remember. A little stroke sounds so minor in comparison. It's nice to be able to talk about MRIs and neurologists and leg braces, and no one bats an eyelash, because everyone's been there, done that.

Anyway, better go - Mike just got home. But I'll check back in soon!

an announcement!

Ok - I've probably held onto this one a little longer than I really should have. But I needed to make sure everything was going smoothly.

So here goes....

Yup - I'm pregnant!!! Yay!!!

This is actually an old ultrasound, from 11 weeks - I had one last week, but all the technician could get were bits and pieces. I didn't really feel like posting a photo of...legs. In fact, the baby was so unco-operative for the second ultrasound, I have to go back and do it again in the next week or two - it was moving so much, they couldn't lock in a few of the measurements.

I'm just about halfway - I'll cross the magical 20-week mark this weekend. After that, if I go into labour, there's a chance the baby can be saved. It's a small chance at first, but it's still a big comfort.

The due date has been set at September 20.

So far, the pregnancy has been very smooth. We had a few nervous weeks between the first trimester symptoms fading, and the kicks being big enough to feel well. There have been other things stopping me from announcing this earlier. I was going to post this last month, after a doctor visit, because he should have been able to get a heartbeat. But he didn't have a dopplar, and it was too early to pick it up by stethescope. So then, i decided to wait until the ultrasound - it's the big 18-week one, where they can see potential problems arising. But I had one of those technicians who won't say anything, which can mean either, they just won't say anything, or there's something horribly wrong. So again, it went on hold. But yesterday, I had a great doctor's appointment, and the doctor I've been referred to for the rest of the pregnancy assured me all is well, and everything they were able to capture is normal and growing right on schedule. She had a hard time finding the baby with her dopplar, but caught it for a few seconds - long enough to confirm all is well so far. It sure is a wiggly little worm! Now that it's bigger, I feel it wriggling constantly, which is great! I went weeks trying to entice it to move, with orange juice and chocolate. In the end, we discovered it loves spicy food! The first big, unmistakable, definitely-not-a-gas-bubble kick came when we were watching a Calgary Flames game, and eating very spicy wings. Mike said "It must be a boy! It likes hockey and wings!"

John's excited, too. He calls it my Belly Button Baby, because it lives in my belly button. He imagines that it has a bedroom, filled with toys in there, where it rides around on a red bike, just like his. He says good night to my belly sometimes, and has even told my belly "I love you, Belly Button Baby." He's cute. He's in for a rude awakening, though. he really thinks this baby will pop out ready to play and jump and run, just like him. We're trying to get it straight, but I think the thought of another helpless screaming bundle, like Joan was, just doesn't appeal enough to sink in.

Anyway, that's the news! We'll keep you posted as it goes. Hopefully, it will all be smooth sailing!

physio appt - finally

Well, it's not next week - or the week after. Joan's first meeting with her physiotherapist is May 22 - the day before her neurology appointment. She'll probably be meeting the occupational therapist the next month. She's in the study, though, which means sessions starting next week, running through the rest of May. Can't say I'm thrilled - the OT is the one that orders the hand brace, so that's yet another delay on that. But it's better than nothing. I've been told the labour shortage has hit the children's hospital particularly hard, because most people moving here are young people who either come with young families, or start them soon after they get here, and I believe it. It's so....incredibly...slow. Though, they've just promised some rediculous sum of money for healthcare in the last budget - they updated their numbers based on $78 a barrel. It allowed them to invest billions, and still eliminate the healthcare premium as of January, 2009. If you want a job in healthcare, now's the time to come to Alberta! That and construction. They're investng a ton, both municipally and provincially into roads and infrastructure. Want a great-paying unskilled labour type job, pouring asphalt? We're the place to be! Oh, and mechanics - we just paid $69 for an OIL CHANGE because there's such a shortage! Even the Chicken Shack is still loooking for someone. They've been hiring since last September at least - $15/hour. The 7-11 starts at $12, including benefits and retention bonuses. It's crazy! And they've done so much frantic home building, that housing prices are expected to fall this year, including rental prices, which aren't even all that bad. Our place is awesome, and only $900/month. (Though, the little war-time type bungalows in our neighbourhood sell for $700,000. Or at least, that's what they've been listing at. They sit for months on end at those prices, so they must be coming down.) The only downfall of Calgary is it's a two-industry town - oil and construction. And it's all based on oil sands - the oil they've been pumping is almost all gone, which means our entire economy is based on oil being at least $60/barrel. If it ever falls below that, or even gets too close, this place would be a ghost town. Nice thought. But it's good while it lasts!

Anyway, I'm off to get a GST number. I tried and failed yesterday. We don't have a printer anymore, so the guy on the Revenue Canada number said to pick up a form at the Calgary tax office, and we can fax it back to them when we were finished. Well, sounds great in theory - it should absolutely be that simple, shouldn't it? So, I pack up the kids, and make the dreaded trek downtown. Anyone who's been in downtown Calgary feels for me right now. It's the most ludicrous downtown in the world. The main street - Centre Street - is cut in the middle of town, by the freaking Calgary Tower! And it's not like the road that runs into Queen's Park, where they've built a ring road around it. No. it's just smack in the middle of the street, and you have to navigate through a maze of narrow, one-way streets to get around it. It's ludicrous. Who planned that!? Anyway, we finally got there, then had to hunt for the parkade, then find a spot inside it, get the kids out, find the elavator, get into the lobby, find Revenue Canada inside a ginormous Government of Canada building. We finally got there, only to be stopped by a security guard. I'm a Canadian, in a Canadian government building, trying to conduct legitimate Canadian business, in a Canadian agency, and I'm stopped by a guard, who asks me what I want. "I just need a form," I squeak. Five women behind desks are staring at me. "Over there," the guard says. "WHAT do you need?" asks one woman, visibly annoyed by this intrusion. "I need an RC1." (That stands for Revenue Canada 1. As in, Form #1).
"What's THAT!?" she barks. "It's the new business form," her neighbour whispers to her. "Oh. We don't do forms here," the first one says, handing me a photocopied sheet outlining all the ways I can get the form - none include stopping by a Revenue Canada office. I can get one mailed to me, but she warned me that it's very, very slow. How nice. In fact, I can't even bring the form back to them once I finally DO get it - I have to send it directly to Regina. I really wanted to ask what exactly they DO do there, but didn't. I was the only non-employee in the room. There were five clerks and a security guard. Seriously, what DO they do? The whole fiasco could have been prevented if they'd just publish their phone number. Online, the office description said "service by appointment only", but it gave no phone number to make an appointment!! Ah, gotta love government waste in action.

So the business is off to a rough start. But the kids are doing great. John is still missing family. He's started calling me "grandfather," and pretending that I'm his grandpa. It's not so bad at home, but he did it all through the grocery store yesterday. We got a few strange looks, to say the least. He's such a goofball. he's really grown lately. he's become really tall and skinny all of a sudden, so a lot of his pants are loose. He had on a particularly baggy pair to get groceries in, and somewhere in the pasta isle, I hear. "Mom! Look at me!" I turned around to see him with his pants down around his ankles, and he giggling like a loon. Thankfully, no-one else saw! He's potty trained, by the way! he's in underwear 100per cent of the time. He hasn't wet his bed in almost two weeks, and has even been pooping in his potty! Everytime he does it, he comes up to me and says "mom, I have a surprise for you!" When I ask what it is, he whispers "it's something brown." Then we head to the bathroom for the great unveiling.

Anyway, he's up now, so I'd better go.

the continuing saga

First, a confession. The camera, alas, is "a little bit broken" as John would put it. That's kind of why there hasn't been a new photo in a while. The cover has come off the battery area. I'm still working on it. In a pinch, I'm thinking duct tape will do the job.

I'm hoping to have it up and running by Saturday - I'm taking the kids to a family expo thing that sounds pretty fun. There's a petting zoo, story time inside a whale, inflatable bouncers, a potting shed, a craft corner, and all sorts of other interactive stuff for kids. It's all free - it's paid by exhibiters trying to lure parents to enroll their kids into summer programs. Everyone who has anything for kids will be there, from schools to the library. Should be a good source of inspiration on things to do with John. We've found lots of things, but no perfect fit yet. What he really needs is preschool, but it's expesive and we're not willing to give into that route just yet. But he does need some more stimulation in his life. He's so incredibly bright and social. Seems a shame to have him out of school. I so wish they had JK here!

More good news for Joan - I got a call from the physio clinic! It was a therapist who phoned, to asses what kind of services she's going to need. She gave me some neat new ideas to try, to entice Joan to crawl - the ones from the old crew just frustrate her to no end. Haven't tried hers yet, but they sound a little more friendly. She agreed she'll need both a hand and foot brace, and is trying to set her up with both physio and occupational therapists. However, they also want her to enrol in a research study, which requires her to start therapy next week! They can't guaruntee her whole team will be assembled by then, but she was pretty sure she could get an appointment with at least her physiotherapist for the first week, which would make the family eligible for the study. If not, they'll have to start probably the week after. Either way works for me! The study is to look at the effects that communication between baby and parent have on success. They've found anectotally that parents who are "in tune" with what their kids are wanting have kids who perform significantly better in therapy. So they've formed a little study, with a six-week parental class, to see if it's true. Half will get both the class and the therapy, the control will get therapy only. (Hopefully, we get the class!)

On the Mike front, we've decided to go ahead and go contract. I've been in charge of research, and spent a lot of time on the phone with revenue canada, and various other beaurocratic agencies, and it doesn't sound too hard, even for an incorperation. The added work to have an incorperation over a sole proprietership is pretty minimal. We only registered as an Alberta company, so apparently, they send out a pre-filled-in form once each year, we make any changes, answer a few questions, fire it back and that's that. The revenue canada stuff we'd have to do anyway - we need a business number and a GST number, no matter what kind of business it is. We're just tacking on payroll stuff, which doesn't sound like too much fun, but it doesn't sound hard, either. It's a monthly payment to the government - which they may ask us to do quarterly, if it's too small - and an annual summary. GST is just a cheque each year. There's the extra tax return for the company, but there's small business tax software. We're such a minuscule little business, we just can't see it being that complicated, as long as we keep meticulous records. It's really just an invoice out, a payment in, and a couple of paycheques back out. It should be pretty basic to keep track of everything, as long as we keep good records and keep track of all the due dates. Mike took accounting in university. I'm sure I can pick up enough to keep us out of trouble. I can add and subtract. How hard can it be? (Famous last words, I know.) Chances are, I won't qualify for EI after all. Mike will be sole shareholder, at least to start, so he's automatically out. And apparently, they're a bit sticky about wives working as assistants to their husbands in these little micro-businesses, according to the Revenue Canada Guy. He gave me the number of a form to fill out, which goes to a board of sorts. They'll give us a ruling on whether they would honour a claim, and if they say no, we just don't pay that deduction - but everyone qualifies for CPP. He gave me some tips to keep things simple, and told me some of Revenue Canada's small business pet peeves so we don't annoy them too much. He was pretty frank, and had lots of info. He said they try to keep it pretty user-friendly, ad we'll get all the forms and handbooks we need when we apply for our numbers.

We incorperated on Friday - it was only a couple hundred bucks. There was only one "legalese" section, about share structure. We just took a blurb from a sample federal form we found online. When we went in to the office, they showed us a pre-written blurb of their own, that they could just cut and paste from a file, so we went with that. It was pretty easy. And what did Mike choose as a name? W Inc. (It spells wink.) He tossed around Walchuk Telecom Inc, but thought it sounded too long and stuffy. Walchaco Inc was on the table, but he wasn't sold on it either. W Inc was just kooky enough for his taste, and shockingly, wasn't taken yet. So now it's ours.

John just came down, and wants to say hi!
lkmnbvcx

she's OK!

a bath photo, just for fun

Joan's MRI went through this morning. The anesthesiologist was a little leery, but because she had no fever and her lungs sounded clear, he said he was fine with going ahead. Apparently, the drugs they give can cause the lungs to "shut down" to the extent that they have trouble clearing themselves out, which can lead to an increased risk of pneumonia, which is why they won't put a sick kid under, if they can help it. But both he and the nurse agreed that, although she still had a cough, her lungs were clear.

Only one of us was allowed to go be with her for the sedation, so Mike went, which I was kind of glad of. Not sure if I could have handled that, to be honest. He said she fussed a little, but was too tired to put up a fight - it all happened before her normal wake-up time. Then, we took John to the coffee shop for some breakfast, before the playroom opened. I love having a hospital that's so geared to families, right down to the coffee shop. In the fridge were things like Minigo's, cheese strings, Jell-o, and about five different flavours of rice krispie squares.

The playroom is awesome. John bolted in as soon as the door opened, and was pushing trucks around before we even had a chance to fully check him in.It's huge and bright, and the volunteers are really nice. It's all funded through the hospital foundation, so it's free to use. I really appreciate that it's there, and if we decide to give anything to charity this year, this hospital tops my list. It's a little stressful getting the referrals organized, but now that we're in, it's a great place. The nurses are awesome, and it's all set up to be so family-oriented. There's toys in every waiting room. Play areas, fish tanks, wishing wells. Lots of bathrooms and smaller, more private waiting areas. They're all nice to John, who alway has a million questions for the doctors and nurses, but they all take the time to answer him and make him feel part of the process. They all seem to have all the information they need, and the interaction between them and us is all very organized and streamlined. For a hospital, where terrible things must happen all the time, it's a very soothing and reassuring place. It's been really great so far.

We didn't need to wait long for Joan to wake up. She was pretty crabby from the drugs and not too happy with all the wires and sensors attached to her. But she cuddled for a bit, and had some juice, and she seemed to cheer up with every wire removed. Her big beef was the IV hook-up, and I can't blame her. Those things suck. They told us everything went fine. They didn't need to use the radioactive dye - we had to sign a consent form ahead of time, in case they needed to use it. It feels great signing off on something for your kid, where the potential risks are coma and death. The anesthesiologist popped in to see her before we left, and said she did well, and her lungs weren't a problem.

The whole thing was very fast. They originally told us an hour in recovery - the nurse discharged us after about 10 minutes. I felt bad for John, who only got to play for maybe 20 minutes. He gave us a very sour look as he saw us coming to collect him! But he'll be back - I'm hoping to use it during her physio appointments, too.

Joan recovered just fine. She wasn't back to her usual happy self for about an hour and a half. But then she was starving, and ate like a horse. She did throw up a little - they said that might happen, even though they gave her antinausea drugs - then she was down for a nap.

So it all went very well, and I'm glad that's all done and behind us. She can now eat coins to her heart's content! And in four weeks we meet her neurologist, to see what horrors are hiding in that little head of hers!

MRI day!

Just a reminder that Joan's MRI is tomorrow - at 7:30 a.m.! Unfortunately, there's a chance that it may be deferred to a later date. Mike had a very, very bad flu, and it made its rounds through everyone. I got the lightest dose - no fever, and minimal stomach issues. John was hit hard - he was as sick as Mike, who wound up taking several days off work with it. I really thought Joan was going to sail through, but the night before her heart appointment, the fever kicked in. By the morning of the appointment, she had a fever of 102. We doped her up on Tylenol to cool her down a little, but it wasn't enough to let her feel "good" in any way. She screamed her head off through both tests, the weigh-in, through most of the waiting room time. Not a fun visit. The staff there was awesome, though. They work at a kids hospital for a reason - they all took the noise in stride, and did their best to distract her. They tried puppets, swirling lights, toys, funny faces, all to no avail. But they all kept their cool, and just kept working. Sadly, we had a very sick and stroppy John with us, too. We felt he was way too fluish to dump him in the siblings' playroom, so he tagged along with us. Also not a happy camper, but he found the tests pretty cool, and he found a cool truck to play with in the waiting room.

Fast forward to the weekend. John, who's been sick and feverish for a week, starts screaming his head off, and clutching at his ear. "IT STINGS!!!!!" he screams, tears streaming down his face. It's Friday night, so our family doc has already gone home, but the nurse gave us the alberta telehealth number. They say to try Tylenol, and wait a couple days. Mike wasn't home yet, so I did the Tylenol to start. John was asleep within 5 minutes. However, an hour later, he was up again, screaming and clutching, so we packed everyone up and headed to the urgent care clinic. (The nurse had recommended the emergency at the Children's Hospital, but we called ahead, and they warned they were extremely busy, due to the blizzard which was hitting the city at the time).

So we checked in with our hacking, spluttering, feverish kids, one in obvious pain, and the other tugging at her ears, so we asked that they both be looked at. We were the first to be seen - thank goodness, because there were two kids riddled with chicken pox, running around, breathing on Joan. That's just what I need. Turns out, they both had ear infections. So now, we have matching bottles of his and her antibiotics in the fridge.

John is pretty much over his flu, but Joan isn't exactly 100 per cent. No fever anymore, but she's very sniffly and tired, and on antibiotics to boot, with an MRI scheduled in the morning. Great timing. I called the MRI clinic yesterday, to see if they'll reschedule. The nurse said to bring her how she is, and the anesthesiologist will make the call then. Hopefully, she's well enough to go ahead. It will finally put an end to my recurring nightmares of Joan eating metalic objects off the floor, only to have them rip through her organs during the MRI. Gotta love paranoid mom dreams. I've been having these dreams for months now. I've been sweeping the floor twice daily, in a futile attempt at stopping them.

We've got John signed up again for the sibling room. He liked watching the tests for her heart, but we're not allowed to watch the MRI. So if they let her through, it'll be 45 minutes of nervous waiting, followed by an hour of recovery as she wakes up from the sedation. Very boring for a little kid, so I'm glad they still had space in the play room! He's going to be there to watch her being put under though, but we've been preparing him for what he's going to see, and he loves playing doctor, so I think he'll be ok with seeing it.

In other news, Mike's company is being restructured, in a way. There's been rumors of piece rate being brought in for weeks now. But it turns out, they actually want the guys to all go contract. It means they all have to become their own private companies, with registrations and GST numbers and insurance and the whole bit. It's optional, so it's kind of dominated all of our conversation for days, debating whether it's the right thing to do, and if we do, what's the best way to go about doing it. We've been researching all the terms - dividends, capital gains, sole proprieter vs incorperation, gross-up. It's pretty complicated stuff. But Mike's been tinkering with tax software, to see what would work out best for us, both short and long term. There's a lot of factors that have to weigh in - child benefits, RRSP capabilities, tax rates, liquidity of assets, income splitting - but we've got about three weeks before everything gets presented to the guys in writing, and new contracts need to be signed. We're pretty sure it's the right thing to do. It eliminates all job security, and he won't be eligible for EI anymore, but there are other advantages. He could incorperate, registering as just an Alberta business, which makes things more complicated paper-work-wise. But then, both he and I can pull a wage from the company. I can be his assistant,a nd we can both earn minimum wage, which, while holding the balance of our assets at a corperate rate, which is pretty low - much, much lower than income tax. We can draw a wage from this company while he's at school, so it's a form of savings, and as far as we know, the company can invest in stocks and mutual funds just like a person can. From the tax software, that gave us the best scenario, tax-wise, and has other attractive benefits as well. But we're still hemming and hawing. That scenario would also give me EI benefits, in case Mike lost his job (because he'd have to lay me off, too.) Unfotunately, the company isn't making the status quo very palatable - there won't be any more bonus structure or overtime - just a flat wage with flat hours. Under the unit-rate contract model, it appears that Mike would bring in quite a bit more, but there's no security to it, and he NEEDS to bring in more to cover the extra costs. Don't know. It's a brave new world, that's for sure! Any advice is appreciated!!!

Anyway, better go. I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow.

she's fine!

just stopping in quick while Mike's home to code off some jobs - our main computer is having some booting issues.

Joan had her cardiology appointment yesterday, and everything is fine. There's no hole, no abnormalities at all. The initial diagnosis was correct - an innocent murmer. But instead of being caused by a hole, like the pediatrician thought, it's just caused by the particular shape of her heart. The way blood moves through causes a bit of an extra whoosh, which is completely harmless. Most kids outgrow it as the shape of their heart changes with growth. About 5 per cent continue into adulthood, but even in that case, it's completely harmless and will never cause her any problems. He said her heart looks fine and healthy and normal, and the murmer in no way had anything to do with the stroke. The cardiologist got on the phone with our neurologist as we were leaving to go over his findings, so now neurology knows she's all clear for the MRI.

really, REALLY quick Joan update...

Got a call from the Doc this morning. Cardiology decided to step Joan's appointment WAY up - to April 16! I think she's getting two tests - they said both an ECG AND an echocardiogram. Apparently, they're two different things. I looked up on Wikipedia, and yeah - they seem to be different. At any rate, we go straight from that to a consult with the cardiologist, to discuss the results.



Mike is off that day, which will be nice. We booked John into the sibling childcare room, too, so for most of the two-hour appointment he'll get to play with other kids. Thankfully, Mike's even off the day of the MRI, which is awesome! Though, it's scheduled too early to drop John with the childcare, so he may just be coming along for the ride.



Anyway, thought I'd pass that on! Yay!

super-quick Joan update

hello,

Joan and I visited the doctor today. I didn't actually ask for anything to be moved, but I passed along some of the family's concerns, and my own concerns, and some of the family heart history.

He said it was probably all very safe - she's not the first case they'll have seen, so they'll know what they're doing, and they likely won't put her right under anyway - typically, it's just a sedative, which is safer.

That said, he conferred with the cardiologist after I left, and the cardiologist feels, in light of the family history, that her ECG should probably be stepped up. What they're going to TRY to do, is co-ordinate with Neurology, to have the two tests done back to back on the same visit. He's not sure what they'll do about sedation - the doc said to leave it with them for a couple days to go over her chart and make some decisions, and he should be able to relay their answer to me by Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I'll keep you posted on what they say.