Joan's appointment

This picture was taken during summer in Washington. He's glaring at me because I dared to take a bite out of the ice cream bar he'd just stolen from me. (He didn't like the one he'd chosen for himself, so he took mine instead.)

I thought we were due for a John picture. Poor guy is feeling a bit cast aside these days. He keeps telling us he's a baby, in a ploy for more attention. If we point out that he's a big boy, he screams "No! I liddle!" The other day, Joan was upset, but not hungry, so I was letting her suck on a finger to calm down. John saw that, sat right down beside her, and started knawing on another finger on the same hand. It was quite a sight. When I change the baby, he wants to be changed too. When I bath the baby, he wants a bath too. Thankfully, he hasn't started breastfeeding again, too, though I was a little nervous at the beginning. When he saw me feed her for the first time, he knew exactly what was going on. "Baby drink milk?" he asked. He asked to try it too, and all the books I've read said to say yes. Chances are, they have no interest in breastfeeding - they just want to know it's not off limits. If it's put off limits, it will become a battle. So I said yes, and he kind of mimed breastfeeding, without even touching me at all, smacked his lips, said "yummy milk", toddled off, and it hasn't come up again since. Well, there was once more. I had just finished feeding Joan. He came in with a glass, which he held up to my chest, as though I was some sort of soda dispenser. "Milk?" he asked. Mike thought he wanted the real deal, and figured I should pump a little for him. Well, I wasn't heading down THAT road without some resistance, so I filled his glass with cow milk, and that was the end of it. He was just thirsty.

On the topic of John, he's discovered that it's fun to be "lost". He did this first at Canadian Tire just before Christmas. We needed a rope to buy a tree. We'd picked one out, and turned to go, and John was gone! But I could hear him in the next isle saying "I lost! I lost!" I turned the corner and found him with a huge grin on his face, holding hands with a very stressed-looking white-haired gentleman. That guy sure looked happy to see me!

He did it AGAIN a couple of weeks ago. I guess I've been a bit blue lately, so Mike took us to Ikea to cheer me up. (Who doesn't love a trip to Ikea!?) He even bought me a laundry hamper! Woohoo! (Sometimes I think maybe I'm TOO easy to please.)

Anyway, we were wandering through linens when John bolted off. We weren't too worried - he always seems to know where we are, and he never wanders far. So Mike sauntered off to bring him back. He came back a minute later, white-faced, without John. I've never been so afraid in my life! It's a huge store, with lots of people jostling about, with lots of shortcuts and nooks and crannies. He could have been anywhere! He could have been abducted! Mike told me to stay put, in case he came back, and took off to find John. But not wanting to do nothing, I poked my head through one of the short-cuts, and there was John, leading a woman straight to linens. She had found him looking around alone, so took his hand and asked where mommy was. He knew exactly where he was - pointed straight to where I was and started leading her there. We converged halfway. I thanked her profusely, and said a little thanks that another mom found him, and not some sicko pervert. I'm very glad he has a good sense of direction, but he needs a better sense of danger!

On to Joan's appointment. It wasn't fun. There might be something wrong with her brain. But don't fret. Everyone just take a deep breath. The vomit thing is fine, and she's going to monitor the murmur until she's six months before ordering any tests. She said chances are, she'll outgrow it once her heart valves and arteries become stronger, typically by six months.

However, she asked about her development. I mentioned that we don't get much eye contact from her. I said she kind of looks through us when she looks at us, and doesn't make much eye contact at all. She asked about smiling. I said she smiles, but not socially. She just smiles at things. I honestly couldn't remember what John did at that age, but it seemed a little odd to me. So the doc did a few little tests, and she failed most of them. She got no response from a loud noise, no eye contact, no focus on a flashing light and no smile in response to a smile. So now, she's headed for testing at Mac. I think the appointment is March 20. They'll test how her brain reacts to visual and audible stimulation. She said it could just be developmental - the milestone is two months for a lot of these things, and she was only six weeks at the time. She said she's not blind or deaf, so don't worry about that. But she said it could also be a delay in the brain, or trouble processing information. Autism was bouncing around in my head, but no-one said the A word out loud. She asked if I did drugs. She asked if I was depressed.

It was an extremely stressful appointment, but I think things are looking better. I thought about what she said about depression. It's a very strong word, so I wouldn't use it to describe me at all, but it's definitely been harder to shake the baby blues this time. But it's not because of her - she's great - it's everything else, and I think I'm justified in being blue, so I don't think it counts. But one of the problems with being blue is not smiling enough at the baby, and that delays their social development, and I know I haven't been smiling much at all lately. And we've been trying to still give lots of attention to John, and it takes a lot more work to keep the house tidy the second time aound, so maybe she just wasn't getting enough play time or attention. We've been making sure she's fed and dry and rested, but she needs to play, too. So we've been working really hard with Joan, with lots of face time and smiles, and she's getting much, much better. She's still pretty distractable, but we can get eye contact, and she'll lock on my face and follow it around. She likes to watch John now. She smiles at us now too, if we smile enough and talk in funny voices. She even kind of giggles sometimes. She coos now, too, so language development is right on track. Every day, she gets more and more social. Maybe it would have happened anyway, like the doc said, but more attention never hurt anybody. Well, except for John, who now wants to be a baby, so he can get more attention for himself. I can't win! So hopefully, she's completely normal. Everyone keep your fingers crossed! And if something actually is wrong, we'll cross that bridge then.

Oh, and for those who are keeping track, Joan was 14.7 pounds and 24 inches long at the appointment, which was last week. She has her regular well-baby tomorrow, so I'll post her official 2-month weight then.

Another quick note

This picture was taken a couple of weeks ago. She doesn't even fit that sleeper anymore. She doesn't have hair anymore either - it all got worn away, just like John's did. She just has a few tufts at the nape of her neck left. So the "guess that hair colour" game is on hold.

Things here are OK. Nothing really exciting to report. The Mac study was interesting. The researcher played a word game with John. He did ok, I guess. He was shown pictures in the 2-6 age category, but didn't know what a feather was, and couldn't pick out the man who was painting, and couldn't tell a cow from a goat and a horse, but he generally did OK, I think. It was largely a questionaire for me and mike, and they'll get progressively more complex as the study goes on. For Joan, they took a video of me interacting with her. But she was a bit fussy, so it was 10 minutes of me rubbibg her back, but the lady said that's useful to the study, too. They took a video of me doing my questionaire while I held Joan, which was a little strange, but they're the scientists. It's being done by the psychology department, obviously.

Joan's pediatric appointment is next Tuesday. The projectile vomit thing has definitely slowed down. She's still a big spitter, but not with any real force behind it. I was telling my mom that I'm worried it's a milk thing. I was drinking a lot of milk when she was really bad. Mike made fun of me, because I was going through a gallon every couple of days. I havn't been drinking much at all the last couple weeks, and she's much better. Hopefully, it's just a coincidence. I've met women who've had to give up milk while they breastfed, and I've always thought it was sad. I'd do it if I had to, but I wouldn't be happy about it.

We got a huge dump of snow last night. We just got the edge of a massive storm, but we got a ton of lake effect snow. Many of the cars on the street were burried right up to the hoods, because it was drifting as well. Mike managed to get out, though, because it was just fluffy snow. His school is the only one in the entire region open today, so he had to go. But he's not impressed. Even Mac is closed today. He said if people had actually gone to work today, the roads would have been very dangerous. But as it turned out, most people have taken a collective day off, so he had the highway to himself.

It's actually helped to keep the house very warm. The windows are caked in snow, so it's filled in all the cracks and gaps. No drafts today!

Jer is officially moving in April 1. He's taking John's room. When John starts asking for a room of his own, that arrangement will need to be revisited. But I guess it's fine for starters. We thought about giving him the attic, but that's where our TV is, and we think, in terms of sanity, it needs to stay there. That's where people go to escape in this household, because it's so far removed from the bustle of the main floor, and with four adults and two kids, we're all going to need a place to escape to now and then. But if Jer's here for three years, things will need to change. It would be a little strange to have John still in our room when he's going on 6. The photo manager at work does what we do - all of his kids started out in their bed. He told me they generally want their own room by the time they turn four.

John's doing great with his own bed. Every now and then, he'll crawl in with us in the night, but I'd say, 90 per cent of the time now, he stays put. He seems to even prefer his own bed now - he hops right in and snuggles under the covers when we take him up to bed. It used to be a screaming match every night, to get him to even touch his bed. We think he's started potty training, too. He usually has a tantrum when you point out the little floor potty, so I went with a new strategy. We pulled out the little kid toilet seat my parents got him. We put his little stool by the toilet, and pop the toddler seat on. He actually asks to go now! Nothing's happened so far, but it's sparked some renewed interest at least. Mike's grandma sent us some toddler underwear, and I've toyed with the idea of just switching him into them during the day. He hates feeling wet and poopy, so it might speed things up. I've met many moms online who've done it that way. But Mike thinks it might be a little too sudden, so we're going to give the new toilet seat thing another week or two, and see where he is. Maybe we'll just wait until after Mike's parents have come and gone - then we'll have a long stretch without any schedule interruptions, which might make it easier on him.

Well, I've got both kids awake now, so my few minutes of "me time" is over. I'm kind of wishing I'd used it to shower! Oh well! I'll get another chance, I'm sure.

A quck note...

My parents were here for a few days to see John and Joan. John of course had a blast. He spent three days playing choo choo with Grandpa, and bear-on-phone with Grandma. He's still chasing me around with the bear in one hand, phone in the other. He's still asking to go see you, too. He doesn't seem to get that you're too far away. He likes to look at this picture though - when it popped onto the sceen, he jumped up and down, yelling "look, mommy! Grandma! Grandpa!"

Everything here is alright. I'll do a prper update soon, but don't have much time right now. I agreed to be part of a study on child development from Mac, so two researchers will be here in a few hours, and I have to get ready. I hate being a part of studies, but I only turned them down once, and I regret it. it was a five year study, and at the time, we were looking to move home, so i didn't think we'd be here long enough to finish it. It was on child obesity and diabetes. I agreed to do a breastmilk contamination study, and this one, though. I think it's important to do them, when you're in a demographic that's being studied. You can't really brag that we have a world class research hospital if you aren't willing to do your bit to keep it world class. We can't give them money, but we can offer our children as test subjects.

Mike's job just changed - they took everyone's van away for the winter, so he now has to commute to Burlington every day. It means I won' have a car unless we pack the kids up and commute there with him. It kinda sucks, but it's only for another eight weeks.

It looks like Jeremy might be moving in with us in April. He's thinking of going to Mac to upgrade his degree to a four-year, and doing his masters, so Mike offered to let him live here to save money. Of course, he has no cash for tuition, so he's thinking he needs to move in April to give him enough time to save. He's coming over tomorrow to talk it over. Should be a very interesting year, or three, if it actually happens. No idea where he's going to stay. We have rooms, of course - it's just a matter of which one would be best to give everyone enough space and privacy.

Anyway, I'd better go. There's nothing that would prompt the Mac researchers to call child services on us, but I do have some toys to tidy up.