update....

Joan, on wharf at Bella Coola, during our vacation this summer

Waitin for laundry to finish, at bela Coola. Dave was there too - behind the camera in my tummy.

John, striking a pose, by the fjord. He thought the boats were cool.

Joan can walk! Like...on her own!

Well, kind of.

She's been bonding with her walker these past few days, and doing great with it. She can do a 180 turn no problem, and uses it to putter around the apartment - even just to follow me around. It's going great, and we've got great hopes for this thing. But last night, Mike tried something that was amazing. He wrapped a receiving blanket around her front, and hooked it under her arms, and held the "reigns" out the back. He gave her lots of slack, so that he wasn't actually supporting any weight, but kept holding, so he could catch her if she fell. Then he asked her to walk to me. And she DID! I tried it too - I held the ends of the blanket, so i could catch her if she fell, but took no weight, and she walked clear across the room, no problem! Take the blanket away, and she refuses to move. But with just that little bit of security, she can walk just fine. It's shakey - it's like saying a 12-month-old can walk. But she did it all on her own! It completely supports our theory that she can physically do it, she's just too scared of falling down. It's really, really exciting! We just need to find a way to boost her confidence enough to walk without a safety net. I imagine with enough practice, she'll get there.

In other Joan news, we just had her formally tested by the speech pathologist. She's right at the 50th percentile for understanding - so bang on the average for her age. But she's at the 10th percentile for expressive language. 16 per cent is the bottom end of average, so the SP said she would consider her delay to be fairly mild. Not a whole lot we can do - just keep plugging away with one and two word sentances. Keep teaching her new words. Fucus on "fun" words, like zip and zoom, and animal noises, and she'll check back in the new year to see how she's progressing. She said she sees good things happening, like how she'll copy the words we say, and that she picked up three new words in the last week ("beep,beep" (for when she wants us to get out of her way when she's with her walker), "water" and "blech".) She's really very confident speech is on the horizon - it'll just take longer. She thinks we'll start to see 2-word sentances in maybe 2-3 months.

John had some issues at school this week. The teacher pulled me aside, and told me that John didn't eat his snack, because he refused to sit at the last available seat, which was with a bunch of girls. So he chose to be all alone in the corner, snackless, rather than sit with them.

It sounds bothersome, but upon questioning, the pieces of his day seem to suggest something like this:

There were two new toys in the classroom that day - a Barbie van and some sort of doll house. John called the van a Vanagon, because Barbie vans do have a certain Vanagonesque quality. A little girl names Naya said, no, that's a Barbiemobile. It's a girl toy. An arguement ensued. So John went on to play with the doll house, which he does at home anyway. Naya said no - that's a Barbie house. It's a girl toy. So John, thinking they were calling him "petty" and "a girl", got a black car, and made it poop on Naya's head, which made all the boys laugh.

Then, it was time for snack. Naya was at the girl's table, and he was still mad at her for insinuating that he was pretty, when he is clearly just cool, so he refused to sit at her table, and had to be alone.

After purging this story to us, something changed. He went from hating Naya, to loving her. He said she was pretty, and wanted to decorate his lunch bag (which I often put goofy smiley faces on) with hearts and diamonds to show Naya that he loves her again.

So, now I've got this lunch bag, all covered in hearts and diamonds, that he wants to present to this girl he thinks is pretty, but won't let him play with the girl toys. I'm really, really confused on what I should do about this. I'm not sure if this is like, a first crush situation. I mean, nothing says I love you like making a car poop on a girl's head, right? Or is this his way of making friends? Should I say something to the teacher, so she can see what transpires on Monday? ( or at least talk to the kids about how there aren't girl toys and boy toys.) Should I just let it all go. Do I let him take this lunch bag? I'm ...very confused.

But as you all chew on that, and hopefully offer your suggestions, as wise elders, who've had experience with the complex social rituals of pre-schoolers, I'll leave you with a gem from John:

John, on the drive home from school one day: "Mom," he whispers, poking my arm. "Did you know, I control the world, and tell it what to do?"

yes - we're still alive!

The kids at halloween, courtesy of Grandpa Walchuk

The kids...all in our bed. You can even see Dave's little head off in the corner. Courtsy of Grandpa Walchuk.

I know, I know. A month with no news!?

Things have been busy here. But I'll try to be better. Maybe shorter entries more often would work. It's hard to get down here.

Let's see. Let's start with...Dave.

He's smiling! It's so cute! He's growing fast, and sleeping great. He's just barely starting to sleep through the night. Wish I could say the same for the other two.

Which brings us to....nasty viruses. Yeah, they've become part of the family too, I'd say. We have all been sick in some capacity since Dave came home. I have the kids' chest cold. Bruce got to see a bit of that in Joan, as she coughed up copious amounts of phlegm one morning. That's me now. The kids got a puffer from the doc which worked very well for them. (kids aren't allowed cough medicine under age 4). But I'm stuck not being able to take anything, because of Dave. I've been going all homeopathic in an effort to get some relief, and it's working alright. I was looking into humidifiers/steamers, which the public health nurse told us is the key to staying healthy in a desert climate like Calgary. Turns out the one we already have - a cold water one - is just as effective at preventing and treating colds as steam, but they require a higher level of maintenance. Ours needs new filters, which remove all the scale from the water. Then,it will be good to go. Until we find them, I've been just boiling pots of water on the stove. It works great. Adding humidity definitely makes the air more breathable. We've gotten used to the dry air, but I guess the body never quite adjusts. I've also tried peppermint tea, which tastes vile, but does work. Just sniffing the bags clears my head, it's so pungent.

As for...John. He's doing awesome. I'm getting great reports from school. He's starting to sit still and listen during circle time. He's been doing some cool craft projects and it's starting to rub off on home. He'll start gathering things up from around the house and start building things, out of the blue. he built a very cool little rocket ship out of Mike's business card box. it has beer cap thrusters glued to the bottom, and straw jets along the side. My aunt gave him a whole ton of stuff when he was here (and sent another giant box of great clothes since - thank you!) One of the toys he got was a mechano set, and he loves it. He sits and builds all sorts of cool things for hours on end. He puts it all together with little bolts and a screwdriver. It's the one toy I'm willing to buy him. If I ever see more, I'm loading up.

He's really into mummies right now, and has decided he wants to be an archeologist. He wants to hunt for mummies and pyramids, and "be brave". Last week, he wanted to be a spy, so all of his career choices are along the same vein, I guess. But archeologist is pretty cool. Sadly, they don't have an Egyptian display at any of the museums here, so we went to the library and got him a couple of kids picture books on mummies,and how they're made. He carries them all over, and tells us all about the pictures he sees. He chose a kids' space book from national geographic, too, which dad reads to him.

He's going through a funny phase. I don't know if it's just his age, or if it's the influence of school, but he's trying to distinguah between masculine and feminine. The other day, we had this conversation:

John: "I don't do pretty things."

Me: "What kinds of things do you do?"

John (with a karate move): "I do coooool"
Me: "Hm. What things are cool?"

John: "Weeellll. Like, finding mummies. Finding pyramids. Sitting around. Sleeping. Hurting bad guys. That's cool."

He's half preschooler, half teenager.

What's next...I guess...Joan!

She's doing great, too. She's becoming such a little ham in her own right. I see a lot of John in her, like her fake shocked expressions when she does something cheeky. She's very, very cheeky. I think she's going to be a wild one when she gets mobile. Almost makes me want to keep her this way. Except she's getting too heavy. We've started back up with therapy. We had a one-on-one speech meeting earlier this week. I drew up a list of words that Joan has, and she said it looks like she indeed has a speech delay. We're going to be doing formal testing next week, to see where on the scale she really is. But I know I've missed words, and have discovered that I've been missing whole sentances. Two nights in a row, she's handed me a piece of food that she isn't interested in from her plate, and said, with relative clarity, "I don't want that." The first night, Mike pointed it out to me, and I thought it was just a fluke. But then she said the exact same thing, under the exact same circumstances the very next night. She also says "what's that?" So maybe she's not as bad off as I thought. We had physio yesterday, Her new Occupational therapist is awesome. Very no-nonsense but still very likable. i had taken the little plastic toy walker my parents had gotten her, to show how well she can boot around with it. But it's so small now, she's all hunched over. The PT was gone in a flash, and back she came with about eight tiny little walkers, like old people walkers, in miniature. They found one that Joan liked, and was the perfect size for her, and sent us home with it that day. They retrofitted it a little, so that her right hand can grip it easier. She walked up and down their hallway for nearly an hour, kicking a giant ball as she went, beaming the whole way. When we got home, i set it up in the living room, and she actually used it to get around all evening, instead of bum scooting. It's really, really great. She's figuring out how to turn it all around. It's really exciting, and it gives her a more natural posture, because the bars are to the side, instead of her being hunched over. They retrofitted ut with a bar that does go across the front, though, so she has the option, if she finds that easier. They told me that she'll find the easiest and most efficient way to use it for her particular disability. They're also going to make her a new hand brace. It's called a load-bearing brace. It's a rigid plastic, which will hold her fingers splayed out straight. That way, when she's crawling, which she does every day now, she'll have more support from her hand, and it will train her hand to be open, instead of curled up all the time. With the soft neopene splint she has now, her fingers bunch up and curl over. I asked about contraint therapy, but they're not sure it's right for her, so that probably won't happen. That's where the good hand is splinted or put in a cast, forcing the weak hand to do daily activities. They said the literature is mixed, and there's no specific age when it's recommended. it's a case-by-case thing, and they're not sure Joan would get a benefit from it at this point - perhaps when she has more strength and control on her other side. But I had brought it up, becasue she's started using her right side spontaneously. She gave me a high five with her right hand the other day. ANd before that, she took a toy from Mike with her right hand. The OT gave me a few activities that can help reinforce that - like doing high tens insted of high fives.

What else...oh. The Vanagon.

Yes, we own a Vanagon. I'm still shaking my head. I saw it for the first time last week, as we all drove four hours to Kimberley BC to pick it up. It was owned by a retired lesbian mechanic and her partner. They had three of these things, and decided they needed to pare down the collection. This one went on the chopping block because it had no extras - the other ones had pop-top sleeping quarters in the roof, and sinks and stoves and such. This one just has a card table and a bed.

The drive was not great. We had to get over two mountain ridges to get to Kimberley, and this is not the mountain's best season, weather-wise. It wasn't bad getting there, but it was definitely a white-knuckler on the way back. It was dark and gloomy, so it got dark early, and it was freezing rain and sleeting up in the higher altitudes. I'm not the best winter driver - I drove the Nissan back - but I think I did OK. We passed a couple of SUVs in the ditch, yet I only skidded a couple of times. It helped that I was going 40 most of the way, and know enough to lay off the brakes on ice. Still, don't think I'll ever tackle the rockies in the dark in winter, ever, ever again. Skidding towards cliffs is not a good feeling. But we brought our little two-way radios, so we'd be in constant contact. We kept in visual contact most of the time, but around the curvy mountain roads, we relied on radios to keep tabs on each other. Mike was up ahead and warned me about any particulary rough spots. It worked out pretty well.

But now we've got this weird hippie bus thing. It's a monster. And it's one of those cars with a cult following. It attracts a lot of attention on the road, and there are whole online communities devoted to it. There's a club in Calgary. i don't think we'l be joining. That just seems..weird. It's so kooky, it requires a special mechanic to service it. Well, you can take your chances with a regular guy, but its engine is in the trunk, the battery is under the passenger seat, you gas it up through the door, and put in oil under the licence plate. There's nothing particularly normal about it. There's a Vanagon specialist guy in Calgary who comes highly recommened, and when I talked to him on the phone, I asked to see if he's exclusively a VW mechanic. He said "well, we're a pretty big shop, so unfortunately other things come through the door now and then. Like (with disgust) Hondas. Or even...Toyotas." I feel like I've joined some sort of cult. Mike let me drive it once. I went very, very slowly around the Canadian Tire parking lot. I'm content to leave it at that. I have the Nissan, and use it as a daily runner for school and stuff. But when we get groceries, or go anywhere as a family, we take the bus. It's actually kind of nice. Mechanical quirks aside, it's a great family vehicle. If we're out abd about, and Dave needs to eat, we just all hop in the back and chill out, while I nurse Dave. We let the kids out to roam free, and all of the back seats face each other, so Mike and I can chat while we're stopped. it's like a living room on wheels. If we want to eat while we're out, it has a pop-up table, so it becomes a dining room on wheels. We did that one the way home from Kimberley. I made sandwiches for the road, and instead of splitting them up, and everyone eating while we drove, we actually stopped a couple of times for snack breaks around the van's table. It's a very social vehicle, which I've enjoyed a lot. it makes days of running around doing chores as a family a LOT more enjoyable. The kids really like it, too. Especially John, who is typically pawed at, poked and bitten by Joan in the back of the Nissan. It's so bad, when it's just the four of us, I let him sit in the passenger seat. In the Vanagon, they can't touch. Instead, they make faces at each other, and laugh. It's a lot nicer than constantly yelling at kids to stop biting or hitting, or whacking each other with books.

Other than all that, things are...ok. We had a great visit from Mike's parents. The kids had a blast, going to the park and the zoo. John is STILL talking about the zoo. Thanks to my parents and auntie Glenn Ellen for the boxes of winter clothes. The kids are set and stylin! Everything fits great - nothing is too small, and lots have plenty of room to grow into. The new toys and books are a hit, too. Thaks to everyone for the pictures they've been sending, too. I'll get a whole bunch of them processed and posted shortly.

Ah - Dave just woke up, so I'd better get going. I'll try to update a lot more frequently. Little updates, more often. I think that's the way to go. And pictures! More pictures. I know, I know.