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quick note

Just got a call from the physiotherapy clinic - Joan is getting fast tracked through the system, because of our situation, and should be able to start therapy next week! I had to do a long phone interview, and they'll take that, along with the doc's notes, and a panel will be meeting on Monday to discuss a course of action for her. The nurse said I should get a call shortly after with her treatment schedule. Unfortunately, the physio clinic is at Chedoke, on the mountain, not Mac, so it may be a pain to get there. But we'll work something out.

No word yet on the MRI, but with the speed everything else has been moving, I should be getting that call soon, too.

How phobias are born

The photo feature is back up! I like this picture, except for the chocolate ring around John's mouth, and the pooped out look on Joan's face. But I still think it's cute.

It was a day of ups and downs. I decided to check in on John at school today. He had a great day! Every Wednesday, they have an artist come and do creative things with the kids. At the end of class, John was busy at work with her, one-on-one, building a tower out of various cardboard boxes and coloured tape. He was so proud, he came over to me, took my hand and led me back to meet the lady, and see his tower. It was great.

We got a little newsletter today, which was nice. It explained their teaching method. They call it "emerging curriculum". In a nutshell, the kids' interests direct the curriculum. Obviously, in an all boy class, the curriculum is very vehicle heavy, which is where the idea for the fire station field trip came about. Makes sense to me. It's so fun to see the effects of school infiltrating him. He's started to use one of the teacher's favourite sayings "we rock!" He's also expressing his feelings very well. Today, he was trying to play one of the preschool games on the cbc kids website, but couldn't get the mouse to move the way he wanted. So he sat down and said "I can't get it to work. I'm upset."

After school, we headed home for some lunch and a little rest. Then came the first of many trips we'll be taking to Mac for Joan - this time to get the bloodwork done. The bus went well. There's so little outdoor walking involved, it wasn't an issue. John thought the hospital was a pretty cool place, even though we wound up walking what felt like miles to find the right clinic. Once we got there, we barely had to wait, even though they had a giant sign apologizing for long wait times, and being short staffed. Besides, they had toys and a dinosaur book in the waiting room, so John didn't even notice. But that's about where the happiness ended.

I had warned John that Joan was going to be scared, and that she was going to cry, but I don't think it registered, until things got underway. He watched in horror as they tied the elastic around her arm. His jaw really dropped when a second technician came to pin her arm down, and the first, who seemed so nice until then, jabbed a pointy thing into his sister's arm, causing blood curdling shrieks to ring out far and wide. Not to mention the dripping blood all over her arm. The technician had a heck of a time keeping the needle in her tiny little vein, so she kept having to wiggle it around to find it again. With every wiggle, you'd think we were trying to kill Joan from the shrieks she let out. It was horrible. They took eight big vials, which seemed like a lot of blood from such a tiny body. When it was finally over, Joan burried her face in my neck, and sobbed big sobs, while John just stared, slack-jawed and dumbfounded, with fingers firmly planted in his ears. It took a minute to calm everyone down, but just as I did, the technician who had pinned her came back with tape, to hold the cotton ball in place. Poor little kid started screaming and flailing all over again, like the boogy man himself was trying to touch her. John, the protective big brother he is, was also upset by her reappearance, and yelled "go away, doctor! You hurt Baby!"

I don't think Joan will have any memory of today, but I'm pretty sure John will never see people in lab coats the same way ever again. I felt so terrible, I let him have both a donut and an ice cream cone at the hospital cafe. Sugar heals all wounds, right?

Anyway, the process is underway. I'm assuming the next real hurdle will be the MRI, which thankfully, should only be hard on me.

On a humorous note, I saw a little glimmer of Mike in John the other day. I was cleaning in the bedroom, when I heard a BOOM, followed by "Mom! That was close! That was really, really close!" coming from the stairwell. John had found a flattened cardboard box, sat on it, and slid all the way down the attic stairs, toboggan-style. I said "John, you could have been really hurt!" To which he answered: "But I'm not hurt at all! Look - I'm safe." Can you say "like father, like son?"

It's all in Joan's head

Sorry no new picture - that part of the site has crashed.

Joan's hand. Where to start.

Doctor's appointment was productive, but saddening. Turns out, she's nost likely had a mini stroke. Typically, this happens in utero, though she had a particularly violent birth, so there's a chance it happened then, too.

She said baby strokes are a whole different thing from strokes in the elderly. It doesn't mean she's going to keep having them. It would have been a one off thing, caused by some set of circumstances, that won't happen again. They don't know what those circumstances may have been. It shouldn't affect her mentally, because there's so much brain development happening. the brain compensates for it. If an area is damaged, the neurons will just form elsewhere.

We discovered it in a typical way. Parents think it "appears" around 6 or 7 months, but in reality, it was there all along - it's just becomes obvious around that time, because that's when they start to sit up and play with stuff.

Lucky for us, it's currently an area of study at Mac right now, so there happens to be all the resources right in town.

So now, we begin a long process. Because it's being studied, the doc has to follow a prescribed course of action. First is a set of bloodwork, largely to rule out any genetic abnormalities. She's pretty confident that she's clear of those, because we'd see a dramatic developmental delay by now. And although she is delayed, it all seems to be physical, probably because she's in effect missing an arm. Mentally, she seems all there, and on track. That bloodwork starts right away. I have to take her to the hospital today to get that ball rolling.

We and the results will be sent to a hemotologist. She said something about testing for possible blood disorders, and there's a remote chance this could be the first of many strokes, so I guess that's what that doctor does.

Then she needs an MRI of her head, to see where the stroke took place, and what kind of damage it caused. She said typically, they find a very small scar. But there's a chance it may have caused extensive damage. They won't know anything until the MRI is done. She'll need to be put right under for the procedure, so we need to see an anesthesiologist ahead of time, and the day of the test will probably be very stressful. I'm thinking I'll hire a sitter for John that day. I'll have enough to fret about without wondering what John's up to.

Then we start months and months of physiotherapy. They'll probably build a little tiny brace to hold her hand open, and go from there.

Obviously, there's a time issue involved, which we all know about, so there's no need to discuss it here. The doc is aware too, and said it should all happen very quickly, so not to be too worried. She's going to have a full medical team taking care of her, and they'll do what they can to make sure all it all happens as seamless as possible. The family doctor said that pediatricians have a special status in the hospital. They tend to get what they want, when they want it, so hopefully, it really will move fast.

She said just from watching her, the chances of a full recovery are quite good. She does have good function and tone in her arm. She does use it - it's just a matter of bringing it back on par with a typical hand and arm. It will never be her dominant side - she'll stay a lefty. But she thinks her functon could be pretty close to 100 per cent. I have noticed her use it much more in the last few weeks. She's using it to feel things now. She strokes things, which she never used to do. And she does use it as a supporting hand to hold heavy things, and while we were in the office, she passed her health card from her left hand to her right, which is quite a triumph for her! So I think it could all end up being fine. It's never good to start out life with a scarred brain. But I guess what's happened has happened. Now it's just getting her the best care we can.

New pictures

Took some new pictures last night while the kids played - these are a few of the best ones.

And a special bonus - a little video of Joan laughing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYHchrjZC98

Ugh

This is so how I feel right now.

I have returned from a gruelling four hour treck, to drag two crabby kids to the doctor. Today was the first time I really, truly cursed not having a car available to me.

Joan's appointment was set for 11:45 - school lets out at 11:15. To be prudent, i picked John up early, his lunch in tow, for the exciting adventure to the pediatrician, to find out why the heck Joan's not using her right hand. To be safe, I picked him up at 11, and had my bus route all planned out. I had Joan in her carrier, and I brought the umbrella stroller for John, because it's lightweight and compact, so it's good on the bus, and folds up in case he wanted to walk instead.

So the planning on my end was perfect. What I didn't plan for was a major dose of the grumpies with John. He didn't want to go on the bus. He didn't want t ride in the stroller. He didn't want to walk. He wanted to be carried, like the baby. He spent so much time spread eagle, face down on the pavement, we missed our bus. And the next bus. When I finally got him ON the bus, he was crabby. He didn't like it. Some of the lights were burnt out, and it was too spooky. It was too bumpy. Everything was wrong. When we got to our transfer point, he had a major blow-out. The trip was taking too long. It's too far. Everything was wrong. He wanted to sit on a bench. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see the birds. He wanted to do everything but listen to me. It was infuriating!

The doctor is maybe a 10 minute drive from the school, if you include the hunt for parking. On paper, it's a 20 minute bus ride. It took us a whopping hour and a half to get there. Of course, by the time we get there, the doctor is off on hospital rounds, and isn't coming back again. So, I now have an appointment for MONDAY, when I get to do it all...over...again.

So we turned right around, and headed home. It took us TWO HOURS to get home. It took a long time, because I decided to make the most of it, by stopping at Gore Park to show John the swarms of pigeons. Joan and I flopped on a bench, while John chased them around the park. Then we got a bun and fed them for a little while. It was a lot of fun, and helped salvage a very bad experience. The bus ride home was fun, too. John was too pooped to fight back anymore, and we were riding with some sort of class outing, of about 15 grade 5ish boys. They were quite taken by Joan. They all wanted to come touch her hands and cheeks, and were all competing to make her smile. Unfortunately, she was tired, and not very smiley, but they all ooohed and ahhhed when she nodded off. Boys are so cute with babies. Mike thinks I should have been much harsher with John, but frankly, it wasn't his fault. He was tired from school - he needed a little veg time at home between school and the doctor. We don't have to be there until 2 on Monday, so it should work out better.

So I'm sorry I have nothing big to report, other than the pigeons were fun. Oh, and that I'm SO taking a taxi to the doctor on Monday!

A proud mommy moment

Just got back from dropping John off at school, and had to share.

One of the teachers came up and stopped me just before I left, and said "you have one smart little cookie on your hands!"

It was first thing in the morning, and the only cookie in my hands at the time was Joan. I wondered how she could tell a baby was smart just by locking at her, but then she started talking about John. Obviously, he didn't get his brains from me!

So it turns out what everyone has been saying is true - he's very bright. She had started by asking him his colours, and when he got every one right she just kept on going. She spent half an hour one-on-one, with test after test, and he knew everything she threw his way. "It was absolutely amazing," she said. He knew his colours, he could count not only Lego blocks in a tower, but could count the little knobs on top. He knew the difference between a fat Lego tower and a skinny Lego tower. He could tell her which tower was taller, which tower had more blocks, and even which tower was different from the rest. She said I should be very proud. :-)

She said what they're working on with him is finding ways to express himself. He knows his emotions, but they're trying to get him to express why he feels a certain way. I didn't know they were doing that, but I've noticed it popping up at home. He'll tell me how he feels, and when I ask why, I'm actually starting to get a reasonable response, instead of just a tantrum. Like, he says he's sad, and it's because I'm walking too fast for him, or I left him alone in a room, or whatever other atrocities I perform on a regular basis. Or he's scared because the closet door is open. He's definitely getting easier to deal with, and it's keeping him a lot calmer, because I can fix the problem, or apologize. He still has his share of tantrum moments, but I have definitely noticed a shift in him. What a great program!

School daze

John, heading out with mom and dad on his first day of (pre)school! (with his Tatonka backpack from Boffo!)

One of the biggest changes to our life lately has been John starting school. It's actually the Best Start universal preschool program - a 2.5 hour, five-day-a-week program funded by the province through the city. Needless to say, he LOVES it. He was so ready for school, and it's just the right amount of time for a little guy. He comes home pooped, but with lots of stories to tell about "the boys." He loves it so much, weekends have become a very dark time for him. One Saturday morning, he even tried to convince me to take him to school, because the school would be lonely.

It's held at our local school, which would normally be convenient, but our school has been torn down for rebuilding, so he's in the holding school, which is a slightly longer walk. I'm getting lots of exercise! So far, it's seven kids - all boys, with three more working their way through the system. Unfortunately, there's a lot of red tape involved, so if you aren't willing to push, and can't find the right person to call, it could take a long, long time to get in. But apparently, they only need seven kids to secure the program funding, so the teachers are delighted. They both get to keep their jobs!

It's a really great program, and apparently, John is doing well. His first day, one of the teachers said he was "an absolute joy" and really funny. They also said he was extremely good at sharing. Though I found out later that they may have meant in relation to where they thought he would be. One of the teachers told me a couple weeks later that they were very concerned about John before they met him, because he's the only oldest child in the class, and had been an only child (gasp!) for most of his life, so they were anticipating a rough social adjustment for him. So they were really pleased when he turned out to be so kind and sociable. All the others are babies - some of quite large families - so he's definitely the odd man out. And boy, does it show.

We're allowed to peek, so I go early some days to see what he's up to. I've discovered that it's a very bad feeling when your kid is the class freak. He's definitely inherited his dad's "free spirit" genes. One day, they were playing with giant blocks, as a group. Class was ending, so the teacher said "Ok, everyone, let's clean up the blocks!" All the other kids suddenly morphed into a swarm of busy little bees, piling these huge blocks back on the shelf. My kid watched for a minute, then grabbed a cloth and started wiping the blocks. He squealed "I'm cleaning the blocks!" with a look of sheer delight that he had cheated the system, by using the OTHER meaning of clean. Another day, they were playing marching band. Every kid had a cute little instrument - a little drum or a shaker - and they were marching around the room in single file. All of them, except John, of course. He had his little drum, but couldn't care less about the marching band. He was playing with the doll house instead. But as the little band rounded the corner and approached him, he leaped to his feet, spread out his arms and yelled "Stop!! The light is red!!" And this obedient little group actually stopped. And they stayed there, until John announced that the light was green again. And of course, all the other moms were staring at me. I wanted to crawl under my miniature chair and die.

I know he does some bad things. I walked in one day after he had stolen another boy's puzzle. (He looooves puzzles - they have the rigid wooden kind, which are easier to handle, and apparently he plays with them constantly.) At daycare, he would have gotten a time out. Here, he got a deep discussion about feelings, and how he had made the other boy feel sad. It seemed to hit home. John looked like he was about to cry.

I try not to go early a whole lot anymore. It's too embarrassing. But they say he's doing well, and I'm going to trust them. I know they do discuss problems with the other moms, like not listening and stuff like that, but every time I ask they say John's doing great. I guess that's really why they have this class - not for them to be perfect pupils, but to teach proper classroom behavior before getting to a real classroom. It's not exactly natural behavior for a 3-year-old. But he seems to generally follow the rules. He gets a smock to play in the paint or water stations. He helps tidy up. He uses his "walking feet". I think he's genetically predisposed to being an oddball, but as long as he does well in school later on, I guess that's ok. And they've managed to get rid of that annoying "NO!!!" he used if he didn't like something. They replaced it with a very calm "of course not." As in, "can you put that away, please?" "Of course not." It's the same thing, but it is definitely less annoying, which is a step in the right direction.

It's such a short program, it's actually a big pain in the butt for me to have him in there. Between getting everyone dressed and organized and out the door, and there and back again, it really uses up most of every morning. There was so little interest, they cancelled the afternoon session, and rolled everyone into the morning anyway, so switching timeslots isn't an option either. But the benefit to him way, way outweighs the cons for me. Besides, it's fun hearing all about his day when I pick him up. He likes to talk about his snack. One day, they had milk, cookies and apple. "I didn't eat my apple," he said. "Only cookies." Another day, they had rice crispie squares, but he didn't know what they were called (and I wasn't going to tell him, so he couldn't ask for them!) But for the next two days, I heard all about this mystery cake/cookie/cracker that was "so much yummy!" The other day, I was a little startled when he said they got chips for their snack, until further questioning revealed that the chips came with cheese and "sauce" and were shaped like triangles. In other words, nachos.

Anyway, Joan has become a squirmy worm. I'm going to try getting her to sleep. Hope you all enjoy the new pictures and videos. I know I've kind of been ignoring the blog lately, but I'll try to get back on the ball!

Joan pooping

Ok, I give in...here's the poopy video too. A look at the kids at their worst is better than no look at all! Joan's been a little backed up the last few days, so pooping is a big deal, and quite painful for her. (She's developed a deep love for grilled cheese sandwiches - I think they're the culprit). We've been trying the prune puree thing. She actually LIKES prunes (even though John gets really upset, because he thinks I'm feeding the baby her own poop) and it does seem to be working, just not very fast.

Anyway, here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzmn4xEyo-Q

Enjoy!

Quickie

The camera is downloaded, I video is on its way to YouTube...and now it's time to pick up John from school. There's way too much to say in 10 minutes, but I'll throw you all a bone, by posting some new pictures now, and doing a big update later - hopefully later today.

Silly me - I asked John to give me a smile, and this is what I got...

Joan, full and happy. At least one of my kids will smile.

Finally, a smile from John!

Tried to upload a video here too, but it's taking too long. But here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wQRvcdJkCY

Sorry it's so dark. It's John opening a birthday card of mine from Mike's Grandma. (Thank you!) She thought he'd like the card, and she was right. I tried to take a video of Joan eating, too, but it wound up being a video of her pooping instead, which isn't quite as much fun.

More pictures coming soon!