it's a boy!

We cut Dave's hair! We were so sick of people mistaking him for a girl, we had all his beautiful hair chopped off. It took us a while to get used to it. We didn't recognize him for the first day or so. But now, I kinda like it.

A quick update: John has been getting into trouble in school. His teacher has been off sick for a week and Mme L, a teacher who takes no sh*t from any six year old, has been left in her place. She's a teacher who likes rules and discipline. John is...well, not like that. They've been butting heads, to put it mildly. He's frustrated that his classmates think she's fine, and have been calling them dumb and poopyface because of it. She's reported him to the principal. She's come out to talk to me. John had already confessed everything to us, so I already knew, which seemed to surprise her. He got a pretty stern talking to from his dad last night. Hopefully, it will help.

Joan met her new physiotherapist yesterday. They really hit it off! She said Joan's balance is actually pretty good now. She's very functional, but needs work on the higher level things, like balancing on her affected foot and walking on very uneven surfaces. She heard from her speech pathologist, Lucy, that she loves horses, and had already put her down for riding therapy in the spring! She said she's an ideal candidate, and it works wonders in getting kids to use two hands.

Even she was very impressed by Dave. She had set up a tunnel game, where the kids had to grab a beanbag animal, crawl through the tunnel, then throw it in a red bucket on the other side, and repeat, until all the beanbags were in the bucket. Dave did a couple, then grabbed the red bucket, pushed it back to the pile of bean bag  animals, loaded them in, completely by-passing all the obstacles, then threw his hands in the air and said "all done!" before zooming off to find a new game to play. The physio thought that was pretty clever of him.

Joan had her first show and tell a few days ago. The theme was things from nature, so John let her borrow a lump of amethyst and a large pink quartz. All the kids loved them, and when the teacher asked where she'd gotten them from, she said "the planet gave them to me."

Here's another funny from Joan. Dave has been fine-tuning his parts of the body, and I was holding up my fingers to show him finger vs thumb. Joan, who has recently become obsessed with family structure came along, and pointed to my first three fingers. "That's a mommy, that's a daddy and that's a baby."  I pointed to my pinky, and said "Is that the baby's sister?" "No, Mom." she said snottily. "That's just a finger."

SNOW!!!

Sorry - the photo of Dave is on hold for these - We got snow! The kids spent most of the day playing outside. They are mighty tired now. I think it'll be a very early night for all!

 Dave, outfitted PROPERLY for the snow. The snow started falling yesterday. When John got home from school, he wanted Joan to go out with him. So he suited her up, helped her put on her boots and mitts, zippered her coat, and off they went - totally forgetting about poor little Dave. I guess he didn't remember snow from when he was one, so out he went to follow them. In bare feet. It didn't last long.

....walking in a winter wonderland....

And last but not least....

John - feigning boredom on a BC ferry during our epic trip to Dryden.

I don't think I have nearly enough time to discuss everything with John here. But that's why I'm doing this - try to catch up as much as possible, then it'll be easier to get it out bit by bit from here on. Just a warning - I've been using Mike's little notebook computer. He doesn't use it for work anymore, But it's very frustrating, because it's so freaking tiny my fat fingers are all over the place, pressing things they shouldn't be pressing. So if you see strange symbols or really bad typos, that's why. The bad spelling - that's me, unfortunately. Hopefully my old editor doesn't come here! LOL! 

John's been doing great! he was having a hard time with a boy at school. They were getting into fist fights and everything. The teacher said they were both at fault - sometimes John would antagonize him, by calling his books dumb during library time - which resulted in a big fistfight in the middle of the library. The teacher was trying to just keep them apart. We managed to get John to cut it out on his side, by trying to convince him to find something in common, or make a point of saying something nice to him. He didn`t like the sounds of that, so he decided by himself to just stop saying anything at all, which is just as well. But the other boy was still slinging names, so the teacher finally kept him late one day to discuss with his parents, and since then things have been much better. She`s even gotten them to do stuff together, like being partners in gym, without it coming to blows! They still don`t much like each other, but they`ve learned to be civil, which is all we really cared about on our end. 

It`s really been a lot of adjustment for John. He`s a big talker. I`ve never seen anyone who can talk like that! It`s a talent to be able to dish out such a constant stream of words about anything, everything and nothing. I guess this particular talent resulted in one of the kids at school telling John to shut up, even though he was saying all nice things. I told him that not everyone in his class is used to such a busy household and so many people talking all at once (many of his classmates are only children or just one of 2 and many to older moms, so I imagine they live in pretty quiet homes). So I told him to try not talking so much, and to just listen to how much others talk, and that will tell him how much noise other people are comfortable with. I think he took it to heart - he seems to be having a much happier time at school and making friends easier these days. When he gets home, it`s a whole other matter entirely! But we`re used to the chaos, so it`s alright.

The only time it becomes a problem is over dinner, because he`ll completely gab away the whole mealtime. We`ll all be done, and he won`t have had a bite, because he`ll be so busy talking! We have to remind him to take bites. And during TV. We`ll be watching, and we`ll think `what is that annoying drone in the the background?`And it`ll be John, just chattering away during the whole show. Or if it`s something he doesn`t want to watch, he`ll start counting, to see how long the show is.

To give him a little more of a social outlet at home, we started `family game night`. it`s not a designated night - it`s whenever we all have a bit of time free. He likes Uno and Life best. If he had his way, EVERY night would be family game night. It was so cute, the last time we played Life, we was getting really upset, because Mike had so many kids he needed a second car, I had one, and he hadn`t gotten any yet. He was so happy to finally land on a baby spot, he jumped up and down and yelled ``I have a boy! I have a boy!``. It was cute.

He has lots of fun when the babysitters come, because he can usually squeeze in a game with them, too. He taught our teenage babysitter how to play Uno, so they play cards together. He managed to convince Sophie to play chutes and ladders and Connect 4 with him. His ranking of our babysitters is largely dependent on how willing they are to play board games with him, after the middle kids go to bed. We have one sitter who loves taking care of Tom more than anything - she`s firmly in last place.

We just went through Remembrance Day, and John was very moved by it. He asked for his own poppy, and wore it faithfully every day. After school was over, he`d tuck it away safely so it wouldn`t be lost. he asked lots of questions about all the wars - how they started, why they happened. I told him as much as my high school education would allow. Mike filled in the blanks at night. I wound up telling him all about Hitler and the Holocaust. So when he got to class, Mr Joe, the music teacher, asked everyone what they knew about the wars. Most didn`t know anything. Some knew that the guy the school is named after was a local fighter pilot. But John was able to tell his class that ``a very bad guy named Hitler killed lots of people``. Apparently Mr Joe, who`s one of his favourite teachers, was really impressed and told him that was a great answer. John was so proud of himself, he talked about it for days, and thanked me several times for telling him who Hitler was.

Anyway, I`d better go. All the kids need me. I`ve promised Joan a chocolate if she can pee on the potty, and she`s trying right now. It worked once. I`m seeing if I can get it to work again. Dave needs a cuddle, and Tom is about to wake up to eat, so off I go! I have a new picture of Dave to post next- it`s a shocker!

a time for Joan...

This was taken in Dryden this past summer, while we waited for a fire-eating show to start.

Joan. Out of all our kids, probably Joan is the one going through the most changes right now. She started preschool this year, with a little preschool in John's school. They teach them a little french, like french songs and counting in french. So far, she's doing well. After just a couple days, she came home and was using the french for her numbers. I can tell they're working on letters right now, because she's able to name a lot of them, where she couldn't before. She loves going. When I drop her off, she always does a twirl around the room. And now all of her services have kicked in, so she's going to get tons of stimulation for the next little while.

We had met Danielle, her new OT before summer. But now that Joan is in school, that's where she'll get services. The plan is for her to sit in and assist on all of Joan's Friday classes, which is awesome. She'll be working with the teachers to show them ways of helping her with all the usual OT things - dressing, playing, crafts, self-care. The teachers seem happy with the arrangement - they get a little extra help generally, and they can get an expert's input on how to help her adjust. It should make her school time significantly more productive.

The latest excitement has been Lucy - her new speech pathologist. Joan LOVES Lucy! She gets so excited when we go to see her! So far, they've been doing mostly assessments, which Joan normally doesn't like. But Lucy is good - she scatters little rewards throughout the test to keep Joan focused. Like, she'll give her a puzzle to do, and give her a piece after every few tasks. All of her assessments came out wit a delay, but they were all so painfully mild. Like, normal starts at 85, and she got 83. They were all about that close - expression, comprehension and speech. Every session, we get games to play until the next session, to focus on something very specific. This session, we have to work on the K sound, and sorting pictures of objects into like piles. It turns out, she can't make any sound that requires pulling her tongue to the back of her mouth. Who knew? She's getting better tat it, though. She can't make a K yet, but she's managed to make sort of a weird gurgling sound.

The last two pieces of her team have very recently fallen into place - we meet her new physiotherapist next week, and the division that handles preschool liaison just called today to say hey. They're the ones who can provide an aide in the class, if that's what the teachers need.

I'm also working on getting her a referral for the local therapeutic riding stable. Kids with behavioral issues can just go, but because she's physically disabled, she needs a doctor to refer her. It's not as expensive as I thought it would be, and it's apparently really good for balance and hip strength, which are two things she still needs work in. They have an open house with rides and farm animals on Dec 5 that we're planning to take her to.

I definitely need to find her more things to do. Preschool is great, but it's only three afternoons a week. The rest of the time, while John is in school, she's in charge. Having a three-year-old in charge is not pretty. She calls Dave her best friend, and the two of them are total partners in crime! He follows her around and get into all kinds of craziness. I'll come up from putting in a load of laundry and find flour scattered all over the floor. I'll get out of the shower to find books in tatters, or great smears of peanut butter down the hallway. It's just bizarre how much trouble they can get into in so little time. It feels like they're just waiting for me to leave the room, and as soon as I'm out of sight, they get down to business. It's all preplanned. It started when they began sharing a room together. Dave used to be so easy to put to bed. Now they both stay up horsing around. I always thought it was John being the problem when he and Joan shared. But now he's the easiest to get to bed. I'm thinking it must be that common denominator or Joan. They take toys to bed, and sit up playing horses or puppies, or jump off the side table onto the bed. There are many nights we poke in to check on them before we go to bed, and the lights will be on, the furniture will be toppled and they'll be curled up together under one little blanket in the middle of the floor.

Now that she's talking in full sentences, her personality is really shining through. I thought John was a thespian. He can't hold a candle to her! She can actually cry on command. Only her own command, mind you. But it's still a site to see. Let's say she falls and hurts herself. She gets hurt. It's no fun. But in front of me, she just shrugs it off and moves on with her life. An hour later, in walks Mike from work. She'll come running up, in full tears, and start crying that she's fallen and hurt herself! And she did fall - an hour ago! She does it all the time! The cat scratches her - it's good for a couple rounds of tears. Falls. Spankings. Even if one of the boys hits her, she'll cry that she's hurt, to get him in trouble. Then another parent will come on scene some time later, and she'll turn the tears on again, as though it just happened! It's ridiculous! I feel like people must think I'm unfeeling, because she'll even turn it all on again for teachers or total strangers, and I'll just roll my eyes and tell her to cut it out. 

I've made her sound so bad! But she's actually a great kid. She's feisty, stubborn and opinionated, but she's also very sweet. She's my little helper, all the way. She helps me cook - she's good at tossing veggies in pots, or stirring or dumping. She's good at cheering up Tom when I'm too busy to look after him. And she cares about all her brothers. Today, Dave shoved her hard and almost knocked her down the stairs because she had something he wanted. So I gave him a tap on his bum. It was enough to upset him, but Joan was the one who started crying. "Why would you do that to Dave? He's my very best friend. You shouldn't do that to him!" It was pretty gut wrenching. I felt about 2 inches tall. But within a few minutes, they were back to scrapping it out, so all was well.

We've been doing curling every week this winter, and \Joan has been enjoying the parade of babysitters we've had though here. We have four that we've used so far - each one bringing something different to the mix. We have a teenager who all the kids love - especially Joan. Now she wants to have red lips and paint her nails "just like Babysitter!" She's a sweet kid, she can actually handle them just fine, and she's our 3rd's daughter, so we're happy to use her. But she's a VERY busy babysitter, so we have others we rely on. The very first one was Sophie. She's with an agency, and very expensive, but we get her now and then, because she's like a special treat for the kids. She's a British trained nanny, and got her ECE after immigrating here. She's freaking amazing, and worth the extra cash, but she's an extravagance we can't afford every week. Anyway, the kids were all asleep when we got home the first night she sat for us. When they woke up, Joan came bounding out of the room, with a big smile on her face. She saw me, and the smile instantly vanished. "Not you!" she screamed. "I hate you! I want that OTHER Mom!" She screamed for Sophie all morning long. I've never been happier to dump her in school as I was that afternoon! (Thankfully, she forgot about Sophie while she was at school, so Sophie has been allowed to return.)

I should probably go. I have to get dinner moving forward if \i ever want these kids to get to sleep tonight!

And now for something completely...Dave!

 catching a snooze with Ruf Ruf

"Cheese!"

Dave. Where to start with my little superstar? Well, he's now two! And he's a perfect example of how every kid is so completely different from his or her siblings. Not only does he have a completely unique personality, but he has a completely different skill set than the others at this age. At two, he talks in 3 or 4 word sentences. He knows his colours. He knows his feeling words. He shows empathy. He always says please and thank you. Sometimes, it's hard to remember he's so young!

He's always been left to fend for himself, and it seems to have served him well. That's not saying much about me that being ignored helps my kids better than attention. But for him, it's worked. Not only is he a master scavenger as always, but he's taught himself to change his own diaper. Instead of coming to me if he feels icky, he'll take off his pants, take off his diaper, roll it up, throw it out in the diaper pail and pick up a fresh one from the bathroom. THEN he gets me involved, only because he can't put the new one on by himself. I think if I switch him to pull-ups, he'll be completely self-sufficient. I did try briefly to potty-train him, but it didn't go well. It caused him some obvious distress, and at the time, he didn't have enough control to make it practical. But I think he's due for round two. I've caught him sitting on the potty for fun, and he's a bit of a neat freak - I think he'd appreciate feeling clean more than any of my other kids. He's probably not a neat freak, really - just as fastidious as a normal kid raised by a more normal family than us. I find him a bit compulsive about the handwashing. He hates feeling sticky. He doesn't like to be in PJ's outside of bed. He'll pick out his clothes for me, then strip so I can dress him properly first thing - right down to socks and shoes. He likes things just so, and will go out of his way to make things proper and peaceful. If he has a toy that someone else wants, and they're having a tantrum, he'll often hand it over, just to keep the peace. It's a nice quality, but it doesn't do much to teach the others, though. It means that when it's something really important to him, and he digs in, it's that much bigger a battle because they aren't expecting it!

We think he's pretty bright as well. Joan has been doing quite a bit of speech therapy lately (I'll get into that more in her entry). I have to take Dave and Tom to her speech sessions, and Lucy, the pathologist, is always very impressed with Dave and how quickly and easily he learns. It's probably not so much that he's so awesome, but more that she spends her days dealing with challenged kids, so he stands out in her day. She always winds up citing him as an example of what Joan should be doing, both in the level of his imaginitive play and the way he verbalizes. I'm not entirely comfortable with her doing that, because it can only hurt Joan's feelings to constantly have her little brother held up as an example.(Though it's still nice for me to hear he's doing well.)  Last time she marvelled at how "connected in" he is - that he's always watching and listening and learning. We were sorting dolls with Joan into a boy pile and a girl pile. Dave was off playing with a truck by himself, seemingly absorbed in his own game. He happened to see a little girl doll in a dollhouse, brought it over, announced "girl", dropped it in the girl pile, then went back to his own thing. Even during her assessments, we had to hold his hands, so he would stop pointing out the right answers in the book.

Though he has his moments. He's figured out that if he pulls a stool up to a closed door, he can turn the knob and get in. But once he gets in, he closes the door behind him, trapping himself inside. For a while, he'd thought he'd beaten the system by taking the stool in with him, to use for his escape. But that only made it worse, because then he'd be trapped, with the door blocked by a stool! He didn't do THAT too many times. A few more inches and the problem will be solved. For now, he either leaves doors open, or knocks to be let back out. Sucks to be a big guy in a little body.

Dave got a treat - literally - at Halloween. He managed to weasel his way into his first trick or treating! The original plan was for me to take just John. But John didn't think that sounded fun - he wanted his siblings with him. We agreed to split the job 50/50 - I'd take John and Joan out, Mike would watch Dave and Tom at home, and if I needed help, he'd close up and come too. But Dave's been around long enough to know, if you want to do cool stuff, stick like glue to John. And that's exactly what he did. He was NOT leaving John's side, literally. So I relented, and off we went. Dave had no clue what we were doing. He just knew it looked like more fun than staying home, so he wanted in! We live in a semi-rural place, so we drove to a more concentrated community nearby. It's a new subdivision, filled with young families, living in well-lit homes, packed tight on brightly lit streets, so we thought it'd be better that hauling three little kids along a dark rural road. We weren't the only ones with the same idea - the streets leading in was packed tight with other families coming in as well. It made for a really fun night - we only did two small blocks of it, but we saw easily a couple hundred kids! I can't even imagine how much those people need to spend on Halloween each year.

Dave's reaction to his first house was priceless. He didn't know what was going on. He got a bucket shoved in his hand, and was told to follow John. So off he toddled up the steps. A lady answered, and dropped his first candy into his bucket. He let out this squeal of delight, then sang "thank you thank you thank you!" while doing a little happy dance on her step. It was so cute! Then, he was hooked! he ran from house to house with John, holding up his little bucket, like some sort of homeless street urchin. But he NEVER forgot to say thank you. At some homes, he said "Thank you much!" At others he got into his lion character, and he growled his thank you. He actually got double candy at a lot of homes because people thought his little thank yous were so cute. He wouldn't go up to a couple houses because they were too scary. "That spooky. I scared," he said. But a little pep-talk from John, and he'd be back at it. We only did about 20 houses. By then, the bigger kids were coming out so it was getting a little hairy, and they were getting tired, so we packed it in. But it was loads of fun!

Anyway, Tom is up and I just saw Dave wander past with a pair of scissors, so I think it's best I go! Joan's 15 minutes is next! 

Tom

This is the first in a series of four entries - one for each kid - to catch everyone up on everyone.

First up - Tom!

 Up on all fours!

 Being fed - Oatmeal and prunes. Yumm. I've never had to resort to prunes before. I little more effective than I anticipated. He even liked them - they made the oatmeal taste like raisins.

He can sit too!

Thing are going great with Tom. He's still a little guy, but he's growing the same way he always has- slow and steady. I keep meaning to stop by public health to make sure he's doubled his weight, but it's challenging to get multiple kids in and out again without help. The scale is in a room filled with toys, and the lobby has a fish tank all the kids like, but he's due for a check-up, so I'll get an answer soon. According to our house scale he's somewhere in the 16-18 pound range. 

We started on solids just before Thanksgiving, after a string of long, sleepless nights. He's now up to two large meal a day, and is going through a good spell - falling asleep around 10 or 10:30 at night, and sleeping through till morning. It's nice! I know it won't last, but it's nice. My secret weapon is this Greek yogurt I found. When John was a baby, I was given all these super-strict rules of when to tart certain foods, and other that were strictly off limits until certain ages. I used it for all of the kids.  Then Mike went in with Tom to have his last round of shots, and the nurse tells him not to bother! Apparently now anything goes. So instead of filling up my scrawny little guy on applesauce, I went out and found fattiest yogurt I could - it's filled with protein, fat, cholesterol. All the good stuff babies need. It's 10 per cent fat. I may as well feed him sour cream, except the ingredient list is literally milk, cream and bacteria, so it's way, way better. I got the idea at Thanksgiving, when he was lunging at my pumpkin pie. He didn't want the pie - it just made him grimace. But he managed to get his hands on my whipped cream, and chowed down! It was just cream, and apparently anything goes now,  so I let him have more...and more...He ate easily half a cup of whipped cream, then slept for 12 hours! Obviously, something he was lacking, so the hunt was on for a healthy substitute for whipped cream, and there was this yogurt. And he loves it! He gets all excited when he sees the container, and if I hold it near him, he'll lunge over and stick his whole face in! It's pretty crazy! I made a few mistakes with it, like feeding it too early, because he always has a nice long nap right after. If I do it too early, he wakes in the night. Now I feed him a big bowl mixed with fruit right at bedtime, and he sleeps, he's happy and he's growing!

He's doing pretty well with all his milestones. Not surprising, with so many sibling to watch. I really don't spend much time with him, compared to say, John at the same age. But he's constantly being stimulated, so he's always learning. He figured out all fours a while back. Now he rocks back and forth, which I know from Joan's physio is an important milestone that strengthens the hips, in preparation for crawling and later walking - a milestone she missed out on, unfortunately. Then, he learned to sit with assistance! He needed to hold the floor, but he could do it for a few minutes at a time before toppling over. He even learned, through necessity, to break the fall with a hand, then walk himself down to all fours. He's a very fast learner! I think he only bonked his nose twice before figuring out how to walk himself down.

Now he's working on unassisted sitting. We start with his hands on the floor, then I give him a toy to brace himself on....then he lets go! He's so funny. He's doing it completely on purpose - he'll lift both hands in the air, then give me this big, smiling "look ma - no hands!" kind of look, then plop his hands back down. Every day, he gets a tiny bit stronger! Most recently, he learned to creep! I credit Dave with that innovation. We were in the playroom, doing our sitting practice. But he was bored with it, so he moved to all fours, and was practicing lifting up on his feet and hands. I ache just watching him do it. I don't know how he can stay like that so long. Dave came along, and started to give Tom toys to play with, so Tom would drop to his belly to play. Well, he's just a baby, so playing with a toy means shoving it into his mouth, which didn't sit well with Dave at all. He did NOT like watching all his favourite toys getting chewed up by Tom, so he'd whip it away, yell "No play Baby!", and toss it back to the pile. I'd ask Dave to find Tom a new toy, and the whole cycle would start again. Tom's not at that point yet when he'll complain, but you could tell he wanted a little more power over the situation, so he tried SO HARD to get his little body to the toys just out of his reach. He never sis manage to get a toy - but he did manage to move himself! Unfortunately, it was backwards, away from the toys. But he seemed so happy to get anywhere at all, it didn't seem to matter! Within a few minutes, he even taught himself to pivot, and that was obviously LOTS of fun! He did backwards spirals with a big smile his face! He even managed to spiral backwards into a toy! if he could remember that moment, I'm sure he'd remember it as one of the greatest moments ever! 

That was the first meanness I've ever seen from any of the kids towards Tom. Generally, they're really great with him. They especially love his tummy time, because he's at their level. Dave brings him things, and he and John show him things and teach him how to play with all the toys, even though he's too young to use most of them. Joan is his mini-mom. She's always eager to feed him, and is right there whenever he's getting bathed or dressed or changed. I'm sure they'll turn on him once he gets big and gets into their stuff. But until then, he's well protected.

Anyway, better go! Next up is Dave!

a month or so in pictures...

Ok. I have no time, but I feel bad I haven't posted anything here in so long. So here's a tidbit of our life, in picture form. By no means a comprehensive post, but it's better than nothing! Enjoy, and look forward to more - hopefully soon!

 Tom and Joan, in costume after trick-or treating.

The kids check out their stash after Halloween. We didn't get a single kid at our house, but I took these guys to Rose Valley, and it was AWESOME! Tons of kids, every house decorated. If we're still here next year, we'll all go out together - I feel bad for Mike that he missed all the fun!

hunter John

 After John got his soldier costume, we had a herd of deer in our neighbour's yard. So John got on his camo, and decided to "hunt" them. Dave kinda gave away his cover, but they were so tame, it didn't matter. If you look really close, you can see one of them through the clearing.

 stalking his prey

This is what he was hunting - they were all in our neighbour's yard.

Dave's B-Day

 Thee are some shots from Dave's 2nd birthday. This was on the menu - bugs in a blanket, AKA, wieners
 wrapped in dough, with fry legs.

 The Ruf Ruf cake John, Joan and I made! Joan helped make the cake itself, John helped decorate. We think it turned out pretty well!

 Blowing out candles!

Opening a present from Grandma and grandpa Walchuk. it was two cool cars, which became instant favourites. I'll post more gift pictures soon.

 My little helper Joan, giving Tom a bottle.

 The kids were playing together in the bush and discovered burrs. They came in completely coated head to toe in the things, so John, in his wisdom, gathered them all up into a ball. Then Dave put it in his hair. It took a long and painful bath to get them all out.

 The ever-protective John, building Tom a fortress. Not sure he appreciates it, though.

A little cuddle time, between Joan and her favourite baby.