we're back..we're alive...and we're swamped!

Just checking in - we've been back from Christmas holidays for a few days now, and are settling back in to a flurry of activity.

First and foremost, we're getting geared up for the arrival of Billy, Mike's brother-in-law, who's starting his new job as a hospital security guard out here in Calgary, to be followed shortly by Vicki, and all their stuff and cats.

Then, there's appointments up the wazoo. I'm feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it. On top of all the normal appointments, of physio and Dave's vaccines and check-ups, which are done on separate days by separate people here in alberta - we have a bunch of new stuff coming up for Joan.

In the next few weeks, she has: a pediatric check-up, an opthmology test (to check for blind spots and other abnormalaties the stroke may have caused in her vision), a new pre-school-type play group for kids like her the therapists have set up. (She starts on Jan 23, and it runs every two weeks for 10 weeks.) Then, we have real preschool to sort out. Ugh. They have a funding program, and several special needs preschools in Calgary that Joan can join. It's the next logical step in her therapy. But we have to start now to get her into a school for this upcoming September. There's an information night next week. Then, we need to register in February. Then, the assessments start, to try to qualify her for funding. It gives preference to cognitive and speech delays, over physical problems, because bright and communicative kids do fine in school, whether they're able bodied or physically disabled. It's an intensive school-readiness program, and it rolls all the social aspects of pre-school with all the therapy she needs, all in one place. If she doesn't qualify for the funding, they have a hospital program, but it's much less intensive - once a week, instead of every day. So we were told, half-jokingly, to lay off speech work, so she'll fail her speech assessment. Luckily, it's an assessment I'm not involved in, so she'll likely go mute and stare blankly, like she normally does to all therapists and doctors, ensuring us a fully-funded spot in a top-ranked facility. (They test that way, because they need to see how they'll react in a school environment, away from mom and dad. The test we did before, which showed her only mildly delayed, was a questionaire answered by me, on the best of her abilities under ideal conditions.)

Should be an exciting few weeks and months, for sure! Not to mention next September, when John starts Kindergarten in public school...and Joan's halfway across town in her special therapy preschool. A logisitical nightmare, for sure. Have I ever mentioned how happy I am that I'm not working right now? I don't know how I'd juggle all of this with a full-time job. Now THAT would be a logistical nightmare! The only part I'm looking forward to is the little group class for Joan. She's so painfully shy, and I think she's feeling the social affects of being behind her peers. We took the kids to a playplace at McDonalds the other day. Joan has trouble getting up the slide by herself, and adults generally can't get up in the tubes (though, Uncle Billy proved THAT wrong! LOL! I wish I had a camera as he squeeeeezed his way out. He was probably close to needing to be cut out of there, but Joan appreciated a chance to go down the slide.) Anyway, we were there again, and Joan was scootching around, playing with the stuff near the floor. Then, a little girl walked up to her and said "What are you doing? Why don't you stand up?" She didn't mean anything malicious about it. It was just innocent curiosity, without a "politically correct" filter. But I think Joan took it the wrong way, because her lip started quivering, and she started to sob sad sobs, and refused to play again. It was heartbreaking. Then, we were at the gym (we got me a membership at Mike's gym, to try to lose my stockpile of baby weight) and we put all three kids in the childcare room. We figured it would be good for John to get some exercise, and good for Joan to socialize a little. Well, when I picked them up, I found Joan, in the middle of the room, all alone save for a tiny toy bulldozer, with face buried in her hands. It was a sad, sad sight. I think it was partially the caregiver, who was very young, likely untrained, and clearly not sure what to make of her. She actually recoiled when I expained the stroke. I almost told her not to worry, it isn't contagious. But I let it go. A playgroup of other delayed toddlers, run by a team of therapists, is bound to be a more rewarding social outlet for her. She'll be on par with the other kids, and the leaders will know how to make it a good time for all. After that runs, they're thinking of bumping her into a group with other kids with hemiplegia - which is just the fancy word for a weak side. But they don't want to start her there, because those kids are all closer to three and up, and are all walking and talking, so she might feel left out. The group she's in is kids with both speech and various motor delays, including some younger kids, so they think it won't be quite as overwhelming for her to start with, considering how shy she is.

Apart from that, she has her new brace, which keeps her fingers splayed. it's pretty cool. it just supplements the other braces. She only needs it on about 20 minutes a day, only when we do loadbearing activities. They also want to lobby her orthopidic team for botox injections. That works by relaxing the tense muscles - in her case, her bicep, and the mescles that contract her fingers - followed by about three months of intensive therapy to strengthen the opposing muscle, which is her tricep, so it has an easier time competing against the tone, after the botox wears off. Does that make sense to anyone but me? I feel like I'm going to start breaking into hemiplegia lingo, and lose you all. Anyway, they can generally only get approval if there's a measurable goal. They think they're going to go to them and lobby for it on the grounds that Joan can't open containers on her own, like ziplock bags, or tupperware, to access food, and these injections will increase her independence. We have to try to think up several things she can't do to take to the orthopedic doctors in charge of her case.

Oh, I almost forgot about David! (ah, welcome to being the third kid, Dave.) He had a check-up just today. He's an ounce shy of 14 pounds, so growing slower than the other two, but still right on track with normalacy. Doc said he's a great size, and everything looks fantastic! He gave the Doc lots of smiles, and the Doc told John that David really liked him, because he looked in his direction and smiled everytime he spoke, which tickled John pink.

Anyway, I had better go. John's telling me not to look at something he's done, so I had better go see what horror he's created. I'll be posting pictures of the trip soon, so check back now and then!

heads up...

Joan with Mike's grandma at the beach in geraldton this summer.

There's John, too, in the blue trunks. He had a great time! It was a few days of relaxation on our holiday - a holiday within a holiday. John still remembers this day, and talks about it a lot - he remembers the mom who brought an ice cream maker and shared with him, and he remembers the playground. He spent months referring to this day as " the bestest day ever!" Sadly, it ended in a nasty burn - and he remembers that part too - but the good far outweighed the bad.

Nothing big to say - life chugs on. but thought I'd give all a heads up on some moderate life changes we've been discusing quite heavily lately.

First, is a move. I know, we just renewed our lease until July. But we've been looking into what is out there, and for a few hundred extra a month, we can get a full three bedroom brand new house, with a dishwasher, main floor laundry, fenced yard, near tons of other kids. It means a move to the 'burbs. Mike prefers that, because he works where he lives, and it's easier to work on new homes. The only downfall is we'd be about a half hour drive to the hospital - instead of 10 minutes - but that's not so bad, as long as I don't schedule any appts to conflict with rush hour. We spent an evening doing drive-bys of places we'd seen listed, and they're pretty great. Most hover around the 1600 sqaure foot range, so it's definitely more space. Mike's itchig to go on the sooner side, but I'm not sure about breaking our lease. Technically, we're supposed to find our own replacements if we want to leave our lease, but I can't see the management company doing that in real life - I imagine they'd want to choose their own people. We'll see. Our little nest seemed so cozy at first, but somehow, just one extra little body makes everything feel so cramped.

Second, is Mike's schooling. The official plan has always been to finish the contract, then go back to st catharines, where Mike would finish his schooling. His idea was to move back here for the summers to work. However, we do have a university here, and in the back of our minds has been in inkling that maybe, we should just stay here for the contract AND school. It became a more serious option this week, when Mike actually checked out the physics department online. They have, of all things, an observatory. It has always been Mike's dream to study astrophysics. It isn't ofered at Brock - they only do condensed matter (aka, solid stuff). That would mean doing his thesis on crystal structure, which he wasn't too excited about. Here, he can live out his childhood fantasies. Then he's free to do his teacher's certificate wherever - including Lakehead, which would put us close enough to home for frequent visits. The plan would also allow him to work in Calgary for the summers, without splitting up the family. Again, we'll see. Still thinking, thinking, thinking. He liked the atmoshere at Brock - the profs knew him personally, so it was easy to get extensions when he was too busy with his job. And they made time to listen to him if they didn't understand his answers. He liked the teachers and his classmates. At Mac, the classses were huge, and they tried to weed everyone out, so he'd lose massive marks on minor mistakes, like writing elements as abreviations, instead of spelling them out. He'd like to see where on the "weeding spectrum" U of C physics falls. He's thinking he may give the school a trial run by taking a course or two, then deciding from there. He's even thinking he may go as early as this coming fall. But that depends on finances and many other things.

Anyway, I had better go. Sory for the short update. All the kids are healthy and happy. Joan has a few new words - help. Again. Therapy is on hold until after the holidays. My goal is to have her walk into the appt, but it probably won't happen. We've been out and about with her little walker, but it's scary how fast she goes when she has more space! But it's helped her in ways I'd never anticipated. Normally, she's so painfully shy. But we had taken her walker to Mike's hockey game, because there's a huge observation room upstairs. I figured I'd just let her wander about. So I set it up, and in he walked, and what did my little walflower do? She walked straight up to a group of four kids, gave them a huge smile, and waved hello!!! Then she motored to the opposite end of the room, where there was a little boy about her age, and gave HIM a big smile and wave too! John spent the whole time playing tag with the four older kids, and for the first time, she was able to join in! She wasn't as fast, and they weren't actually playing with her, but they were all running around, and she was running around too, and you could see by the look on her face, she really felt like one of the gang. It was aewsome. She needs more days like that. Unfortunately, she's not very good at running full throttle, or stopping when she's running, so she had a couple of spectacular spills. But she was a trooper - she just got back up and kept on going! At the end, I got a little taste of the hell I'd be facing if she were able bodied. It was time to pack up, so I was heading over to put her back in her stroller...and she ran away from me! I had a crying newbown, a crazed preschooler, who was wired from a long game of tag, and a cheeky toddler, runnng away from me, giggling the whole way! In many ways, I've been spolied by her disability.

The other kids are doing great, too. Dave is a chunk. He's big. He's fat. But he's STRONG. He can already wriggle himself right out of his car seat, if he's not strapped in! He's trying hard to roll over, too. He's so close! He can get from bck to side, but just can't get the rest of the way. But it won't be long. Very scary. He can holf his head up for long perods, and when he's on his tummy, his head is right up, looking about. We're not sure about his hair colour yet. So far, it looks kind of strawberry blonde. But it's too early to tell.

John's doing awesome, too. I'll share with you his favourite knock knock joke de jour:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Bananarana.

Bananarana who?

Bananarana pooped on you! Then peed on you! Then he ate an orange! (followed by crazy, wild laughter.)

Or, here's one, from his Dadaist series:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Flashlight.

Flashlight who?

Quack! (followed by insane laughter.)

update....

Joan, on wharf at Bella Coola, during our vacation this summer

Waitin for laundry to finish, at bela Coola. Dave was there too - behind the camera in my tummy.

John, striking a pose, by the fjord. He thought the boats were cool.

Joan can walk! Like...on her own!

Well, kind of.

She's been bonding with her walker these past few days, and doing great with it. She can do a 180 turn no problem, and uses it to putter around the apartment - even just to follow me around. It's going great, and we've got great hopes for this thing. But last night, Mike tried something that was amazing. He wrapped a receiving blanket around her front, and hooked it under her arms, and held the "reigns" out the back. He gave her lots of slack, so that he wasn't actually supporting any weight, but kept holding, so he could catch her if she fell. Then he asked her to walk to me. And she DID! I tried it too - I held the ends of the blanket, so i could catch her if she fell, but took no weight, and she walked clear across the room, no problem! Take the blanket away, and she refuses to move. But with just that little bit of security, she can walk just fine. It's shakey - it's like saying a 12-month-old can walk. But she did it all on her own! It completely supports our theory that she can physically do it, she's just too scared of falling down. It's really, really exciting! We just need to find a way to boost her confidence enough to walk without a safety net. I imagine with enough practice, she'll get there.

In other Joan news, we just had her formally tested by the speech pathologist. She's right at the 50th percentile for understanding - so bang on the average for her age. But she's at the 10th percentile for expressive language. 16 per cent is the bottom end of average, so the SP said she would consider her delay to be fairly mild. Not a whole lot we can do - just keep plugging away with one and two word sentances. Keep teaching her new words. Fucus on "fun" words, like zip and zoom, and animal noises, and she'll check back in the new year to see how she's progressing. She said she sees good things happening, like how she'll copy the words we say, and that she picked up three new words in the last week ("beep,beep" (for when she wants us to get out of her way when she's with her walker), "water" and "blech".) She's really very confident speech is on the horizon - it'll just take longer. She thinks we'll start to see 2-word sentances in maybe 2-3 months.

John had some issues at school this week. The teacher pulled me aside, and told me that John didn't eat his snack, because he refused to sit at the last available seat, which was with a bunch of girls. So he chose to be all alone in the corner, snackless, rather than sit with them.

It sounds bothersome, but upon questioning, the pieces of his day seem to suggest something like this:

There were two new toys in the classroom that day - a Barbie van and some sort of doll house. John called the van a Vanagon, because Barbie vans do have a certain Vanagonesque quality. A little girl names Naya said, no, that's a Barbiemobile. It's a girl toy. An arguement ensued. So John went on to play with the doll house, which he does at home anyway. Naya said no - that's a Barbie house. It's a girl toy. So John, thinking they were calling him "petty" and "a girl", got a black car, and made it poop on Naya's head, which made all the boys laugh.

Then, it was time for snack. Naya was at the girl's table, and he was still mad at her for insinuating that he was pretty, when he is clearly just cool, so he refused to sit at her table, and had to be alone.

After purging this story to us, something changed. He went from hating Naya, to loving her. He said she was pretty, and wanted to decorate his lunch bag (which I often put goofy smiley faces on) with hearts and diamonds to show Naya that he loves her again.

So, now I've got this lunch bag, all covered in hearts and diamonds, that he wants to present to this girl he thinks is pretty, but won't let him play with the girl toys. I'm really, really confused on what I should do about this. I'm not sure if this is like, a first crush situation. I mean, nothing says I love you like making a car poop on a girl's head, right? Or is this his way of making friends? Should I say something to the teacher, so she can see what transpires on Monday? ( or at least talk to the kids about how there aren't girl toys and boy toys.) Should I just let it all go. Do I let him take this lunch bag? I'm ...very confused.

But as you all chew on that, and hopefully offer your suggestions, as wise elders, who've had experience with the complex social rituals of pre-schoolers, I'll leave you with a gem from John:

John, on the drive home from school one day: "Mom," he whispers, poking my arm. "Did you know, I control the world, and tell it what to do?"

yes - we're still alive!

The kids at halloween, courtesy of Grandpa Walchuk

The kids...all in our bed. You can even see Dave's little head off in the corner. Courtsy of Grandpa Walchuk.

I know, I know. A month with no news!?

Things have been busy here. But I'll try to be better. Maybe shorter entries more often would work. It's hard to get down here.

Let's see. Let's start with...Dave.

He's smiling! It's so cute! He's growing fast, and sleeping great. He's just barely starting to sleep through the night. Wish I could say the same for the other two.

Which brings us to....nasty viruses. Yeah, they've become part of the family too, I'd say. We have all been sick in some capacity since Dave came home. I have the kids' chest cold. Bruce got to see a bit of that in Joan, as she coughed up copious amounts of phlegm one morning. That's me now. The kids got a puffer from the doc which worked very well for them. (kids aren't allowed cough medicine under age 4). But I'm stuck not being able to take anything, because of Dave. I've been going all homeopathic in an effort to get some relief, and it's working alright. I was looking into humidifiers/steamers, which the public health nurse told us is the key to staying healthy in a desert climate like Calgary. Turns out the one we already have - a cold water one - is just as effective at preventing and treating colds as steam, but they require a higher level of maintenance. Ours needs new filters, which remove all the scale from the water. Then,it will be good to go. Until we find them, I've been just boiling pots of water on the stove. It works great. Adding humidity definitely makes the air more breathable. We've gotten used to the dry air, but I guess the body never quite adjusts. I've also tried peppermint tea, which tastes vile, but does work. Just sniffing the bags clears my head, it's so pungent.

As for...John. He's doing awesome. I'm getting great reports from school. He's starting to sit still and listen during circle time. He's been doing some cool craft projects and it's starting to rub off on home. He'll start gathering things up from around the house and start building things, out of the blue. he built a very cool little rocket ship out of Mike's business card box. it has beer cap thrusters glued to the bottom, and straw jets along the side. My aunt gave him a whole ton of stuff when he was here (and sent another giant box of great clothes since - thank you!) One of the toys he got was a mechano set, and he loves it. He sits and builds all sorts of cool things for hours on end. He puts it all together with little bolts and a screwdriver. It's the one toy I'm willing to buy him. If I ever see more, I'm loading up.

He's really into mummies right now, and has decided he wants to be an archeologist. He wants to hunt for mummies and pyramids, and "be brave". Last week, he wanted to be a spy, so all of his career choices are along the same vein, I guess. But archeologist is pretty cool. Sadly, they don't have an Egyptian display at any of the museums here, so we went to the library and got him a couple of kids picture books on mummies,and how they're made. He carries them all over, and tells us all about the pictures he sees. He chose a kids' space book from national geographic, too, which dad reads to him.

He's going through a funny phase. I don't know if it's just his age, or if it's the influence of school, but he's trying to distinguah between masculine and feminine. The other day, we had this conversation:

John: "I don't do pretty things."

Me: "What kinds of things do you do?"

John (with a karate move): "I do coooool"
Me: "Hm. What things are cool?"

John: "Weeellll. Like, finding mummies. Finding pyramids. Sitting around. Sleeping. Hurting bad guys. That's cool."

He's half preschooler, half teenager.

What's next...I guess...Joan!

She's doing great, too. She's becoming such a little ham in her own right. I see a lot of John in her, like her fake shocked expressions when she does something cheeky. She's very, very cheeky. I think she's going to be a wild one when she gets mobile. Almost makes me want to keep her this way. Except she's getting too heavy. We've started back up with therapy. We had a one-on-one speech meeting earlier this week. I drew up a list of words that Joan has, and she said it looks like she indeed has a speech delay. We're going to be doing formal testing next week, to see where on the scale she really is. But I know I've missed words, and have discovered that I've been missing whole sentances. Two nights in a row, she's handed me a piece of food that she isn't interested in from her plate, and said, with relative clarity, "I don't want that." The first night, Mike pointed it out to me, and I thought it was just a fluke. But then she said the exact same thing, under the exact same circumstances the very next night. She also says "what's that?" So maybe she's not as bad off as I thought. We had physio yesterday, Her new Occupational therapist is awesome. Very no-nonsense but still very likable. i had taken the little plastic toy walker my parents had gotten her, to show how well she can boot around with it. But it's so small now, she's all hunched over. The PT was gone in a flash, and back she came with about eight tiny little walkers, like old people walkers, in miniature. They found one that Joan liked, and was the perfect size for her, and sent us home with it that day. They retrofitted it a little, so that her right hand can grip it easier. She walked up and down their hallway for nearly an hour, kicking a giant ball as she went, beaming the whole way. When we got home, i set it up in the living room, and she actually used it to get around all evening, instead of bum scooting. It's really, really great. She's figuring out how to turn it all around. It's really exciting, and it gives her a more natural posture, because the bars are to the side, instead of her being hunched over. They retrofitted ut with a bar that does go across the front, though, so she has the option, if she finds that easier. They told me that she'll find the easiest and most efficient way to use it for her particular disability. They're also going to make her a new hand brace. It's called a load-bearing brace. It's a rigid plastic, which will hold her fingers splayed out straight. That way, when she's crawling, which she does every day now, she'll have more support from her hand, and it will train her hand to be open, instead of curled up all the time. With the soft neopene splint she has now, her fingers bunch up and curl over. I asked about contraint therapy, but they're not sure it's right for her, so that probably won't happen. That's where the good hand is splinted or put in a cast, forcing the weak hand to do daily activities. They said the literature is mixed, and there's no specific age when it's recommended. it's a case-by-case thing, and they're not sure Joan would get a benefit from it at this point - perhaps when she has more strength and control on her other side. But I had brought it up, becasue she's started using her right side spontaneously. She gave me a high five with her right hand the other day. ANd before that, she took a toy from Mike with her right hand. The OT gave me a few activities that can help reinforce that - like doing high tens insted of high fives.

What else...oh. The Vanagon.

Yes, we own a Vanagon. I'm still shaking my head. I saw it for the first time last week, as we all drove four hours to Kimberley BC to pick it up. It was owned by a retired lesbian mechanic and her partner. They had three of these things, and decided they needed to pare down the collection. This one went on the chopping block because it had no extras - the other ones had pop-top sleeping quarters in the roof, and sinks and stoves and such. This one just has a card table and a bed.

The drive was not great. We had to get over two mountain ridges to get to Kimberley, and this is not the mountain's best season, weather-wise. It wasn't bad getting there, but it was definitely a white-knuckler on the way back. It was dark and gloomy, so it got dark early, and it was freezing rain and sleeting up in the higher altitudes. I'm not the best winter driver - I drove the Nissan back - but I think I did OK. We passed a couple of SUVs in the ditch, yet I only skidded a couple of times. It helped that I was going 40 most of the way, and know enough to lay off the brakes on ice. Still, don't think I'll ever tackle the rockies in the dark in winter, ever, ever again. Skidding towards cliffs is not a good feeling. But we brought our little two-way radios, so we'd be in constant contact. We kept in visual contact most of the time, but around the curvy mountain roads, we relied on radios to keep tabs on each other. Mike was up ahead and warned me about any particulary rough spots. It worked out pretty well.

But now we've got this weird hippie bus thing. It's a monster. And it's one of those cars with a cult following. It attracts a lot of attention on the road, and there are whole online communities devoted to it. There's a club in Calgary. i don't think we'l be joining. That just seems..weird. It's so kooky, it requires a special mechanic to service it. Well, you can take your chances with a regular guy, but its engine is in the trunk, the battery is under the passenger seat, you gas it up through the door, and put in oil under the licence plate. There's nothing particularly normal about it. There's a Vanagon specialist guy in Calgary who comes highly recommened, and when I talked to him on the phone, I asked to see if he's exclusively a VW mechanic. He said "well, we're a pretty big shop, so unfortunately other things come through the door now and then. Like (with disgust) Hondas. Or even...Toyotas." I feel like I've joined some sort of cult. Mike let me drive it once. I went very, very slowly around the Canadian Tire parking lot. I'm content to leave it at that. I have the Nissan, and use it as a daily runner for school and stuff. But when we get groceries, or go anywhere as a family, we take the bus. It's actually kind of nice. Mechanical quirks aside, it's a great family vehicle. If we're out abd about, and Dave needs to eat, we just all hop in the back and chill out, while I nurse Dave. We let the kids out to roam free, and all of the back seats face each other, so Mike and I can chat while we're stopped. it's like a living room on wheels. If we want to eat while we're out, it has a pop-up table, so it becomes a dining room on wheels. We did that one the way home from Kimberley. I made sandwiches for the road, and instead of splitting them up, and everyone eating while we drove, we actually stopped a couple of times for snack breaks around the van's table. It's a very social vehicle, which I've enjoyed a lot. it makes days of running around doing chores as a family a LOT more enjoyable. The kids really like it, too. Especially John, who is typically pawed at, poked and bitten by Joan in the back of the Nissan. It's so bad, when it's just the four of us, I let him sit in the passenger seat. In the Vanagon, they can't touch. Instead, they make faces at each other, and laugh. It's a lot nicer than constantly yelling at kids to stop biting or hitting, or whacking each other with books.

Other than all that, things are...ok. We had a great visit from Mike's parents. The kids had a blast, going to the park and the zoo. John is STILL talking about the zoo. Thanks to my parents and auntie Glenn Ellen for the boxes of winter clothes. The kids are set and stylin! Everything fits great - nothing is too small, and lots have plenty of room to grow into. The new toys and books are a hit, too. Thaks to everyone for the pictures they've been sending, too. I'll get a whole bunch of them processed and posted shortly.

Ah - Dave just woke up, so I'd better get going. I'll try to update a lot more frequently. Little updates, more often. I think that's the way to go. And pictures! More pictures. I know, I know.

It's the wee hours of the morning, and Dave is finally asleep, so thought I'd better pop on and say hey.

It's been an exciting couple of weeks! As if a newborn in the house wasn't exciting enough, poor David wound up being admitted back to the hospital last week. He wasn't eating, was having trouble waking up, and when he was awake, was really spaced out. These were all thing I'd been told to look out for, because I was Group B strep positive - a harmless and common infection in pregnant women, but can cause serious complications for newborns.

So anyway, we took him in to the children's hospital as a precaution. I was expecting to be sent straight home, but the next thing I know, he's being admitted and prepped for a spinal tap, to test for meningitis! As a testement to how groggy a little guy he was, he fell asleep during the procedure. He also fell asleep while an IV was being put in.

The thing about infections is, they can move pretty fast in newborns, but it takes two days for te cultures to finish growing. The baby could be dead by then, so in these cases, they treat it as a positive until they prove otherwise. So for two days, Dave was hooked up to tubes and sensors, on a steady diet of fluids and antibiotics through his IV.

The stress of waiting aside, it was actually a pretty nice couple of days. Dave was so groggy for the first day, I was able to get lots of sleep myself. But by the end of the second day, he was back to his usual perky self, and all of the cultures had come back clean, so they sent us home. They figured he was just battling off a virus that the other kids had, but because he was breastfed, wasn't coming right down with it.

Well, he's got it now! Not nearly as bad as the other two, who've been plagued with fevers and vomiting for what feels like forever. He's just a bit congested. But it can't be fun to be sick right out of the gate.

Coming home was a bit rough. Mike had taken an extra couple of days off to take care of John and Joan. He had intended to "show me up" by being some kind of superdad, but wound up getting sick himself, so let the kids run amok for two days.

He tried to prepare me for the mess, by saying "imagine Lord of the Flies, but with a four and two-year old."

It was bleak, indeed. I'm not going to say anymore about that.

One interesting thing about Alberta is that Public Health is actually a something here. I had my first visit from a public health nurse the day after I got home from giving birth to Dave, and for the first time, i wasn't allowed to turn it down. And now, because Dave was in the hospital, I've been barraged by calls from nurses to check up on us, and make sure he's getting to all his follow-up dr's appointments. They make me feel like such a first-time mom, as they chant about the virtues of breastfeeding. I don't bother telling them I let my two others self-wean, and both breast-fed until they were nearly two. I'm already every lactation consultant's dream patient, but I think it makes them feel like they're making a difference to tell me all of their stats, so I just let them talk.

But they do have a few good tidbits of info. Apparently, there's a bug going around, which matches the description of what the kids have, and it lasts THREE WEEKS!!! Fun, fun, fun. I'm only halfway to the finish for this one.

Anyway, Mike just woke up to get to work, so I'd better get going.

Just quickly in other news - we aren't moving just yet. Our lease has been extended to july 31. So we no longer have to move in the winter with a two-month old.

I'll check in with more soon!

Welcome Dave!

Welcome to David Glenn Walchuk! He's looking a little dopey right here - just about ready for nap 20 of the day. He was born five days late, at 1 .m. on September 25, weighing in at 8 pounds, 6 and 3/4 ounces, and measuring just over 20 inches long.

John and Dave. John was worried he was going to hurt him.
My mom with Dave. My parents were here for the birth and a couple days after. Unfortunately, they didn't get much Dave time, before they had to head home to work.
My parents, with the whole brood, just before heading home to Ontario. The kids really enjoyed their visit, and so did we. It was a huge, huge help to have them here. Hopefully, they didn't find our kids TOO annoying.

Things are going well so far. He's an eating machine. I'm trying to not let it bug me, by reminding myself that his stomache is the size of a chickpea. It just seems like a cruel joke from Mother Nature that it takes him the better part of an hour to FILL his stomach - and all of five minutes to empty it again. It was better today, now that my milk is in. It's keeping him a little more sedate. But last night was rough!

Well, I shouldn't post much now. I hear kids screaming upstairs, and Dave is bound to wake up again. Mike is home to help me out until Thursday, which is nice. I'll post more as we go!

pictures!

John, on some horrific, God-forsaken lake in northern BC, during our vacation this summer. Frustrated that our lake (Konni Lake) was waaaay too cold for swimming, we set out to find something better. And found this. It was so windy, we could barely hear each other talking. Obviously, we didn't let John venture into the water here, but he had fun throwing things into the wind, and watching them blow the other way.

Joan and Mike by the shores of the freaking cold Chilko Lake in BC, on the same trip. The water was so cold, when I dipped my toes in, I got instant toe cramps. Not the greatest for swimming, but it was a fun day trip to see it.

Well, with luck, there's going to be a new baby on the way in a matter of days, so I picked up a new USB cord to get the camera functional again. Everyone cheer! Yay!

I don't have much time to post a lot today, but I did pop one up for you. More on the way from our trip to Dryden and northern BC this July -a whole month away from home for the kids and I, with Mike joining us for bits and pieces.

Today, I'm getting ready for the trimphant return of John, who is currently on vacation with my parents in Victoria, meeting all of the extended family on my side, and from the sounds of it, having a blast! "I've been all over the world!" he told me on the phone last night. He seemed to really like the ferry ride over to the island. "I was on the sea! There was water, water everywhere!"

It was a spur of the moment trip for him - my parents are out west to help out while I'm in labour and for a little bit after, but are on a detour to BC before hunkering down here, to stare at my belly and wait. And wait. And wait. Just before they left, they proposed that John tag along, and we thought it was a great idea, so we packed up Blankie Pink, and off he went! It's been a very quiet few days since. We've gotten lots of sleep, which I was badly in need of. Joan's had a ton of fun being an only child, with unlimited access to all of the attention and all of John's special toys. I didn't get as many chores done as I had hoped, but I made some progress. The house doesn't self-destruct nearly as fast with Joan on her own, so it's been easier to keep pace at least.

Everything's going alright here. We've mostly been resting up, as best we can. Joan has a little cane now. It's very cute watching her use it. She hasn't mastered it by herself yet, but she gets the idea, and is trying hard. It makes it very easy to help her walk as well, because there's not as much bending on my part.

In other news, the real estate agent told us we might want to start looking for a new place to live - but not to cut any deposit cheques just yet. The guy who had the inspection weeks ago is still working on buying the place. He wants to live in our side, and rent the other. He'd apparently prefer to rent OUR side, and live in the other, but ours is the next lease to expire, so it won't work that way. Mike is still hopeful, though. The agent says he's having trouble getting financing. He's already asked for an extension to get it in place, and that runs out on Friday. The property managers are also trying to get an answer from the owner on whether our lease can be renewed and at what rate, and told us they would be working on our case in this next week. So Mike is hopeful that the financing does fall through, and that the owner just agrees to let us sign for another year, out of frustration - this would be the second offer to go bust on this place. But we'll see. At least we'll have a concrete answer either way very soon - I really don't like living in limbo like this.

John's big day!

It was only an hour-long orientation for the kids, but man, what an hour it was!

John's first pre-school class was today. Joan tagged along - I couldn't get a sitter for her, but she wasn't the only younger sibling there, so i didn't feel too bad. Being the first day of school city-wide, I gather anyone who could take the day off, did, so not many sitters were working today. (We've been using a babysitting agency. It's costly, but all the sitters are prescreened and it reduces the job of finding a sitter to one phone call.)

John did, in fact, go as Four, with the full army helmut/sunglass get-up. The only change I insisted on was that he wear long pants, instead of shorts, with his snow boots - it was, after all, 9 degrees outside. As it was, he refused to wear a jacket, because he wanted to show off his stylin' Take Me Fishing T-shirt from Boffo Home and Cottage. It's his favourite right now. He recently refused to take it off for four days straight - as in, night AND day.

Anyway, we had to park a block from the school, so many passers-by got a good chuckle from his outfit while we made our way to the door. A few curious looks from the other moms, but most people seemed amused. We all gathered in the lobby, then the teacher came to usher us in as a group and greeted everyone at the classroom door individually. When it was our turn to introduce ourselves, the teacher laughed at his get-up, and said "I LOVE it!!" John beamed and, throwing his arms in the air asked "You love me!?" "I do!" said the teacher. "I don't even know you, and I already love you."

So things got off to a good start. They were allowed to explore the room for a bit, and scope out the best toys. Then it was circle time. The moment I had been dreading. He sat down alright, but the excitement of it all got the best of him. As all of his classmates sat in meek silence beside their moms, mine jumped up and boldly stated, "My name is John!!!"

Then the list of rules started. He was clearly bored out of his mind, but obviously listening, because as soon as the teacher said that they need to raise their hands to talk during circle time, up shot John's hand.

"Yes John?" asked the teacher.
"wellllll......there sure are a lot of toys in here."
"Yes, there are. And you'll be able to play with them soon."
Up shoots John's hand again.
"Yes John?"
"Wellll......What are those numbers there for?"
"Very good observation John. That's our number chart. We'll be talking about those soon."
Up shoots John's hand again.
"Yes John."
"Wellll.....Why is there a worm in that apple?" he asked, pointing to a picture of a worm in an apple.
"I suppose he was hungry."

At this point, I could tell his cuteness was wearing off, so I stepped in and whispered to him to please be quiet and listen to the teacher. It was the hardest thing for him, as that hand just...kept...creeping...up! I think the teacher noticed my frustration, that, although he WAS working inside the rules, he was being disruptive, so she leaned in and said "Don't worry. This is something we'll work on."

After that, I definitely felt a shift in the way they treated him. Not that they're trying to crush his spirit or individuality, just to get him to listen to the rules and do as he's told when he's told to do it, which is really his big shortcoming, when it comes to school readiness. The next activity was a craft. It was technically optional, but the teacher used it as a way to assert a bit of authority over John. He wanted to play with playdough, and although there were two boys there who hadn't made the craft, the other boy got a gentle invitation to the craft table, which got ignored, but John got a "John, you have one more minute with playdough, then I want you to start on your craft." And she followed up - a minute later, she was back to corral him to the craft centre. And wouldn't you know, he listened. I mean, he wasn't thrilled about it. It took some coaxing, but he did leave the playdough to make a craft. It was all very subtle, but I was impressed. This lady knows her stuff - she sees that he needs some breaking in, and she got started on day one. But she seems to like his quirkiness, which is great. He had a bit of an emotional outburst at home time - he was in tears, because he wanted to stay, so we were the last ones out the door. Once the teacher, her assistant and I all managed to calm him down, the teacher walked me through the sign-out process. As we were about to go, she leaned over and said "I just love his 'wellll...'" I admitted he can be a bit of a ham. As if she hadn't figured that one out by herself.

In true Diva John fashion, he refused to say good-bye to his teacher, but talked about how great she was, and how much he loved school for the rest of the evening. So it all ended well. He seemed totally fine that it was a new school with new teachers. And I think this teacher has the experience and skill to keep him reasonably in line, while still letting him be the kooky kid he is, which is what I loved so much about the Best Start teachers.

It's just always so shocking to see him against a group of his peers, to see how different he is. How do they get these kids to just sit there like that? Why does every other kid sit and silently listen to a verbal description of a dancing game, but mine feels the need to jump up and show the class his signature "helicopter" dance moves? Mike thinks it's awesome, because he sees a lot of himself in John. But I just can't relate to him, as a person who always strove to be unnoticed as a little kid. He's just so...confident. And I love that about him. But I'm worried that he's going to run into teachers down the road who don't appreciate his sense of humour, and label him a trouble-maker, or assume he has ADD or something. So far, we seem to have gotten lucky. Becky and Sue were amazing, and I have high hopes for this new match-up, too.

Hopefully, it will continue to go well. I think he's going to have fun, while they teach him what he needs to do well in real school, which is, after all, the whole point of preschool. Why pay these big bucks just to let him play three days a week? The goal is school readiness, and each kid will need help in different areas. Mine's smart as a whip, but he has a bit of an issue with rules, so that's the tweaking he'll hopefully get. But in the short term, I can't wait to see what he decides to wear on Friday!

desperately seeking camera cord...

I give up. it doesn't seem to be anywhere. My theory is, I took it home, and left it on someone's desk. If anyone has seen a grey cord, with a USB end on one end, and a mini USB looking thing on the other, and have no idea where it's from, it's probably my camera cord. I think i may just have to admit defeat and buy a new one, which is really annoying. They aren't universal, and it was tough finding the last one in the store. As I recall, the girl had to dig around in the back for the right model.

But anyway, thought I'd better pop in anyway. Things are a little hairy around here. John's about the start school, both kids have stopped sleeping, Joan has her first foot brace, and is at the hospital every week, it looks like our building just sold, and I'm about to give birth. Nothing we can't handle. Just a lot on the minds.

I'll get baby 3 stuff out of the way first - I had yet another ultrasound (I think I've had 5). I had one of those professional techs who won't say anything, which always starts me worrying. She said the fluid may be too plentiful, but she'll have to graph everything out and the doc will let me know the verdict. Unfortunately, I won't be able to know until I see the doc next Friday, which is when she'll tell me if I'm in for an induction in the next few days afterwards, or if all is well, and she'll let labour progress on its own. A week is a long time to wait for that kind of news. Mike's hoping I go early. I think he's getting sick of me groaning in pain every time I get up from a chair, and my constant complaining about how uncomfortable I am. I don't remember feeling this miserable or uncomfortable for the other two, but Mike vehemently insists I've gotten this way every time, and just forget.

On the Joan front, things have been frustrating, but are improving. She got her leg brace just over a week ago. She's taken to it pretty well. She balks a little when i bring it out each morning, but once it's on, she's fine to leave it on all day, which is what we're supposed to do. problem is, it's a bit clunky, so she's had to reteach herself how to do everything with it on. For the first couple days,she couldn't do anything. She couldn't pull up. She even had trouble scooting. It was torturous to watch, knowing how little she can do to begin with, then seeing all her progress erased. She would get frustrated, too, but she plugged on, and can manoeuvre pretty well in it now. She's back to climbing up stairs and couches, and is interested in walking again. It's made a big difference in her gait. They asked a physiotherapist to come observe her using it at one of her appointments, and she said it's giving her a nice heel-strike pattern to her walk, instead of dragging her bad foot around. It still sticks out to the side a little, but they said over time, that should vanish, as her brain figures out it doesn't need to do that anymore. They told me to get her to play soccer with John, so she gets used to jabbing her foot straight out in front, to reinforce those neural pathways. I was a little self-conscious taking her out and about in the brace at first, but now it's just normal. Unlike the hand brace, which can be limited to home use, the leg brace must be worn at all times, so it's out there for everyone to see. A few people have definitely noticed it, but don't seem to know what it is. They just look a little confused, then go about their business. But it's pretty discreet. Most of it is covered by pants, and I chose a soft violet with little butterflies, so it's not that bold. Some of the patterns were pretty wild. if John had been there to help pick, she probably would have wound up with the neon race car pattern, or the electric pink flowers, or something like that. The next big hurdle is finding the right shoes for it. She has to wear shoes over it, but they have to be a wide width, which is hard to find in kids' shoes. We found one pair, but the soles were so clunky, that combined with the AFO, she just couldn't get anywhere. So with her OT's blessing, we switched her back to Robeez, just for traction, until she's used to the brace itself, then will step it up to the shoes as well, so it's less frustrating for her. Her OT said that's totally fine, because she's been so used to soft shoes, the brace PLUS hard shoes was probably too much for her to handle, and seemed to lead to a lot of the frustrations in the first few days. But the shoes we got were too big anyway, so we have to go back on the hunt. Sigh. Other than that, she's fine. She's in a really clingy stage. She won't sleep unless she's in our bed. Even if I sneak her back to her own in the night, she wakes up within minutes, and howls to come back. It drives Mike nuts, because it's him she wants to cuddle with, not me. So he's waking up with this little body smushed against him, and no matter how far over he moves, she shimmies over to smush right back in. It's a phase - John went through it too, at this age. I think it's because she's weaned herself, so she needs that extra creature comfort that used to come from nursing. Unfortunately, John never likes to be left out, so he's been sneaking back into our bed at night, too. So all four of us, including my huge belly, are all squished into our bed. Should be extremely interesting, if they're still doing it once baby three arrives. Maybe I'll just leave the kids with Mike, and go sleep with the baby on the couch. Needless to say, we think our next bed will be a king.

On the John front, it's all about school, school, school! I went to the orientation last week, to get the rule book, and meet his teacher. I think he's going to like her, but I think the first day is going to be rough. He still remembers Becky and Sue, his teachers from Best Start, and misses them terribly. He still seems to think they're going to be there at this school, no matter how many times I explain it to him. The first class is a parented one - I have to be there to introduce him to the system and help him settle in. At first i thought it was a silly thing, but now that it's getting close and Becky and Sue talk has been increasing, I'm thinking it might be good to have me there to talk him through it, and explain the situation to the new teacher if he finds it upsetting. I know he'll be fine overall - the absence of Becky and Sue is the only thing I'm worried about. If he has a meltdown at all, it will be over that.

His first class is on Wednesday (Sept 3). He's already getting prepared, with a unique outfit he's selected, and has been wearing around the house, just in case school suddenly starts without warning, I guess. It consists of a camo bike helmet, which is styled like an army helmet, a pair of neon green sunglasses, snow boots, shorts, his backpack, an umbrella, and the T-shirt his school sent home for him, for field trip days. He's prepared for everything...and nothing. It's quite a sight. When he first put on this crazy ensemble, he walked up to us, his face completely deadpan, and stated "My name... is Four." We couldn't stop laughing. We're still laughing, to be honest. Mike's trying to add to the image by teaching him various communist and fascist solutes and chants. I think this is honestly the look John has in mind for the first day of school. And you know, OK. It's not hurting anything. He says he wants his teacher to laugh, and there's no way she won't, so if he emerges from his room next Wednesday as Four, all the power to him.

In random news, Mike is murmuring about a road trip to Dryden in the very late fall/early winter. I guess he got some not-so-great-news about people's state of health, and is feeling a strong tug to come home. But we'll see what the fall brings, in terms of work and school and babies and whatnot. It won't be a plane trip with me and three kids - he wants to come for this one too, so it will be a big family thing.

We thought briefly about buying a minivan. They're awfully cheap these days. But we're going to hold off a little. We decided it would be better to spend our extra cash closing out credit card accounts, rather than upgrading now. A minivan is definitely in our future, but not for a little while yet. We'll see how horrible it is with three car seats in the back of the Nissan first. I think it was the right decision. I see people with three kids in little sedans all the time. And it allowed us to pay off two more credit cards, which was a good feeling. Just one more to go! Woohoo! Oh, and a few pesky student loans. Amazing how much debt we got ourselves into. I don't know how we survived it without going bankrupt. But the end is in sight, and the savings are growing, which is nice.

I keep looking for my old house on MLS, but it looks like the guy who bought it is actually living in it, which would be awesome, if true. Jeremy said he saw it now and then, as he rode past on the bus. All the trim has been redone, and this spring, they were replacing the front porch. I imagine he did the roof right away. If the trim looked new, maybe he replaced the windows too. Jer wouldn't be able to tell that, though, especially from a bus. If we're ever back in southern Ontario, we're going to go check it out. Not sure if we're going to be creepy and ask for a look inside, but I'd love to know how much has been changed.

Speaking of houses, ours has an offer on it. There's a home inspection on Tuesday. The agent says he doesn't know what the buyer's plans are for the place. It may even fall through with the inspection - it's in rough shape, this old place, and the buyer didn't take a very good look around himself. I have a feeling we'll be moving Nov 30. They re-rented the other side last month, so now WE'RE the ones with an expiring lease. So, our side will probably be renovated first, if that's the plan. I can't see it being a good investment otherwise. If he's doing an inspection, he's probably not going to doze it, which means he's likely going to renovate it into one of those swanky apartments, and re-rent for a small fortune. It could be a blessing in disguise. I think with another kid, this place is going to feel a little cramped. We figured we could go another year here, but it might be better to get something slightly larger. But we'll see how it unfolds. I'm so not interested in moving again so soon. Not sure yet if we get one or two months notice that our lease isn't being renewed - I'll have to dig up our lease to find out. I think it's two, but I could be wrong.

way cool video

Something cool to see while I wait for camera batteries to charge - and a free minute. Thought I'd have some writing time this morning, but John is already awake. This is from the ultrasound I had this week. Baby 3 at 34 (nearly 35) weeks.

Everything's fine, by the way. I did have too much fluid - the technician said 20 is too much - I have 23. The baby is also on the bg side - it's just over 6 pounds now, in the 70th percentile, so not super huge, but on the bigger end. She said it will likely wind up being between 8.5 and 9 pounds. The OB is sending me for a follow-up ultrasound in a week and a half. But she thinks it will have normalized by then - I was only measuring one week ahead yesterday. However, in the event it's still there, or is escalating, she'll probably induce me about two weeks early, to prevent a natural labour. If the water breaks in a big gush, it can cause bleeding in me, and cord prolapse I think it's called in the baby (which is exactly what happened with Joan - her cord was pinned next to her shoulder. Why they didn't do a C-section, I have no idea, knowing what I know now. If I get another resident trying to deliver this one, I think I reserve the right to have a pregnant-lady freak-out, and insist on a real doctor.)

Other than that, things are going well. it's been a busy time with doctors. Joan gets her leg brace next Wednesday, and they've stepped her physio appointments up to weekly, in an attempt to help her relax and make friends with them. They've also cut it down to one therapist at a time, instead of the panel of poking, prodding fingers we usualy face. We had our first one-on-one session, and it went great! She played and laughed, and actually didn't want to go at the end! It was great.

John's doing great, too. He had his first kiss from a girl a few days ago! I had taken him to the park, and a 6-year-old named Sara was there with her grandpa. They chummed around the whole time, but when it was time to go, she threw her arms around John and gave him an embarassingly long, wet lip kiss. It was so wet, they both wiped their faces on their sleeves afterwards. The grandpa and I were both holwing. John doesn't like to talk about it, though. But not from embarrassment - I don't think it meants anything to him. When Mike asked him what happened at the park that day, the highlight was finding a tiny ball on the ground. Sara didn't even come up without prodding.

I've been trying to get the kids out and about before summer is over, and Baby 3 arrives. The city runs a park program, which travels around. We were able to get to one for a couple of mornings. Next week, it swings close to home again, so I'm planning to take them as much as I can, working around doctor's appointments, as usual. It's really just for John, but Joan joins in with crafts and stuff too - it's for 3-5 year-olds. They do little crafts, and play games. The first day we went, I was so embarrassed. He was there with a bunch of very proper little girls. He made me a necklace, then they tried to play Red Light, Green Light. Of course, all the girls folowed the rules to a tee. Then, there's my kid. The light turned red, and John shouted "IT'S GREEN!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!" And off he shot. The girs were thoroughly disgusted, but the one other boy tagged along, as every mom on the sidelines howled. Then they tried to play a dancing game, where they did various dance moves, then sat on command. Yeah. That was doomed from the get go. He played along with the dancing moves, but when it came time to sit, he would spin wildly, and scream "I'M A HELICOPTER!!!!" It really annoyed one of the little girls, who, every time, would jump up, point at John and yell "YOU LOSE!" as the moms on the sidelined all howled. Except for me, who turned progressively deeper shades of red.

I almost didn't go back the next day, but he woke up early and got himself dressed so I'd take him, so I couldn't say no. But day 2 went much better. It was all boys that day. It must just be a boy thing, because there were NO games that day. The teacher tried, but couldn't get anything organized. They spent the entire time pretending to be bulldozers in the beach volleyball court. At one point, the teacher wet down the sand, so they could do sand castles. One of the parents turned to me and said "won't that be kind of muddy?" And I replied "It's just wet sand. They can hose it off at the end." And right on cue, my kid found the one patch of wet dirt, which had turned to soupy, goupy mud. He was throwing great handfulls into the air, chanting "WE WANT MUD! WE WANT MUD!"

We also found an outdoor pool a few blocks away that the kids love. We've started getting John to swim in his life jacket, so he's not afraid of the water anymore. The first day we went, he stayed in there for three hours, and I had to drag him out! It's only good for heat waves, though. But we've got another going on now, so I think I'll take them back in the next couple days. Joan LOVES it! She splashes and kicks and giggles. She just loves to swim! We've also found a few beaches, for when Mike has days off or gets off early. Unfortunately, most of the beaches are near Red Deer. We're working on finding a closer one that we like, but most of the water around Calgary is rivers.

Anyway, I'd better go. Hope you enjoy the video. If anyone has trouble seeing it, let me know. I'll probably download it to youtube when I have a few more minutes, in case anyone has issues with this format. Pictures coming soon! I know it's been a while.Things just seem so busy here, though I know they're not. I just can't do as much as I used to, as fast as I used to. I'm in slow motion, but time keeps moving just as fast. And yet the OB is STILL telling me to get more sleep. I told her that every time I sit down, I fall asleep, thinking maybe my iron had slipped too low - the test she did show it low, but she said it was still well within normal, so that's probably not my issue. But she said it's pretty normal to feel that tired, when you have two little kids, and try to sleep with a lead balloon attached to your belly. Just rolling over in bed is quite the performance, which I guess is affecting my sleep more than I realize.

medical update...

I know. How dull. You all want pictures! Unfortunately, our internet is being buggy on the big computer, so pictures will have to wait until Mike has a look. I'm using his laptop right now, which has no pictures on it. I'm married to a Telus tech, but have the worst TV quality, and a buggy internet connection. Go figure.

Anyway, there's a bit of medical news thought you might want to keep up on. Joan had her hearing test this week. They put her and i and an audiologist in a soundproof booth, then another audiologist went to another booth, to make various noises at her. The audiologist with me played with her to keep her distracted in one direction, while noises were piped from the other, to see if she'd look in the direction of the noise. She had me a little nervous - she didn't look at all for a lot of te high pitched and quiet noises. But they said all is well - at thhis age, sometimes the toys are more interesting than the noises, so they tested the "problem" tones several times, and she looked enough for them to say she can hear them. They tested her ear drums and inner ears too - all is well. So they said her hearing is perfect, to near-perfect - defintely not the cause of her delayed speech. So what else could be causing it? Well, it could just be that the area of the brain responsible for speech is a big black hole. But that's just my amateur opinion. It's nice that they're taking precautions, though, to rule out everything else.

She's getting her leg brace made next week. They start with a cast, then they build the brace from a plaster mould of her leg that's made from the cast. Each one will last a few months, at a cost of roughly $1600 a pop. But most of the cost is covered by the government - the most we'll pay is $500 each year, which is really nice. It's actually a more generous funding program than Ontario. Joan's OT is also from Ontario, and she told me Alberta is the best place to be with a sick kid - despite the look-after-yourself mentality that exists out here, there's certain things the government takes very seriously, and funds up the wazoo, and sick or disabled kids is one of them. You just have to see this hospital to see that! It's quite a place. If you want to see what it actually is she's getting, it's called an AFO. If you do a google search, you'll see pictures. Hers will come right up to her knee.

She's been trying to walk by herself since getting back from holiday. She's becomming very, very good at standing unassisted, and can even manage to get into standing in the mifddle of the floor - with nothing to hang onto! It's quite a sight! She practices for hours during the day, sometimes. But like everything else, she practices in soft places - like the bed. But she's gotten up enough confidence to stand by herself right on the floor, if I'm close enough for grabbing, if she feels herself fall. Yesterday, she took it to the next level, and tried to take a step! She fell, of course, but it was in a fit of giggles, and she got up to try it again. John started walking the same way - sort of a step-leap kind of action. It might take her a long time to walk yet, though. She leads with her right, because most of her weight is still on her left, so it may take her a while to be able to bear enough weight on her right to take a step. The brace should help. Even when she's standing, if she has no clothes on you can see clearly from how her hips and back are cocked, that she's got most of her weight on the left.

In other medical news, I'm getting another ultrasound, for several reasons. I'm having some strange pains that I don't remember with the other two. Searing, cramping pains along the top - lots of pressure and sharp pains along the bottom. As well, I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead of schedule. It could be a big baby. It could just be because the baby has become dislodged, and is currently free-floating, just like Joan was. It could be too much fluid, like Joan had. (Though with her, it was undiagnosed until they broke my water, resulting in two very wet doctors.) It could just be because this is my third, and things are a little lax. Anyway, the ultrasound will show the cause - the OB says she isn't worried, and I shouldn't be, either. This is just a precaution. She says the pressure i feel isn't early labour, becasue if it was, the baby's head would be lodged in my pelvis, and right now, it's not, even though it was with the last visit.

Anyway, I'd better go. John is up, and Joan is stirring, too. Mike has a rare day off, so I think we're going back to the beach. He's only scheduled for three days off in all of August, so we're trying to make the most of our few summer days as a family.

Oh, by the way, we have no-one living in our basement, after all of that! Jer found a place with a friend from Dryden, thinking that we'd have a co-worker of Mike's in our spare room. But when we went on vacation, the co-worker couldn't reach Mike, and got nervous, so he went ahead and found another place to live. So we get to stay a nuclear family! Yay!

we're back

Just a quick note to let you know, we're finally back in Calgary, after a three week tour of Dryden and Geraldton. Phew! No time to download the camera yet, or share the many, many funny moments. Those will come. I have just three days to turn around and be off for a cabin in BC. It's not much time, considering I had a bachelor living here alone for three weeks. It could be worse. But not by much.

The trip home was rough. John was sad the whole time. After the two hours or so of him droning "noooo...nooooo....nooooo" from the back seat, on our way to the airport, we discovered the photo album Mike's parents had assembled. At first it made him laugh. Then, it made him cry. I've never seen him so genuinely sad before. It was heartbreaking. Then Joan got carsick. That was really fun.

Physically getting on the plane was relatively easy. But then, the moping started. John moped, and Joan squirmed. John perked up a little when he struck up a conversation with the guy behind us. The guy gave him a loonie when he got off in Regina (a 30-min stopover). But when John tried to show it to the girl behind him for the Regina to Calgary leg, he dropped it, never to be seen again, which just amplified the moping. Oh, and then there was the poo incident. I have no idea when it happened. Hopefully very close to the end. John pooped on the plane without telling me. And of course, I have no sense of smell, so I had no idea. But I'm sure everyone else on the plane could tell. So Joan reeked of vomit, and John had poopy pants. I'm sure our neighbours just looooved us! He finally told me just as we were about to leave the plane. He asked if there was a bathroom in the airport, because he'd poped his pants. ANd sure enough, he was doing the poopy walk down the isle. Lovely. So I got him cleaned up, though he had to lose his underwear in the process. As I was cleaning him in the bacthroom, he said "I made the airplane stink. That was really funny!" Delightful child. We made our way down to baggage, where Mike was nowhere to be found. So I got on a payphone to find him. While I was talking, John said he pooped again. So I checked him, but couldn't find anything. But when we got home, we found a giant streak of poop all down his leg and his socks. Don't forget, he had no underwear on at this point. So there just may be a John poop sitting in the Calgary airport, which slipped down the legs of his pants, and onto the floor.

Anyway, it was an adventure. Joan was out before we even got home. John was out, but woke up when we tried to slip him into bed, so we gave him a bath and he crawled in with us. He's still out. Joan woke up just a while ago, and has been shovelling in the Cheerios. (We hadn't fed her too much yesterday, hoping it would keep her from getting sick again.) She needs a bath, badly, but generally seems happy to be home. John, I'm not so sure. He wimpered a lot in the car ride from the airport to home, but seemed happy when he was in bed with us. Hopefully, he'll be OK. We'll have to get him back to Dryden again soon. That was definitely my last flight alone with the kids. I'm not doing that with three! Besides, we're probably blacklisted in WestJet's computer now, for emitting too many unpleasant odours. But we'll find a way. Mike's thinking next time, he'll drive us home, fly back, leaving me the car, and then fly back and drive us home a few weeks later. But we'll see.

Better go! Pictures will be downloaded soon, but I have a lot of work to do first! Mike's hoping to show his friend from work who needs a place to stay the basement room today or tomorrow, and of course we're turning right around and leaving town again, so I need the place tidied up again for the real estate agent anyway. Ugh. Right back to the drudgery of life. But everything else is fine. The baby's still alive - lots of strange contraction type sensations on the trip to Winnipeg, which had me a bit nervous. But I think it was just the sensation of it flipping around. I swear I feel a little head on the side now, and it's kicking to the opposite side, instead of up, so I may be right. But no labour yet, and it still appears to be alive, which is all that really matters at this point. As long as it holds off until August, when we're back in the city and settled in, that's all I care about!

a little brag!

Ok. Just too excited not to share! Joan stood all by herself TWICE yesterday! A new milestone reached! Yay for Joan! The first time, i don't even think she knew she was doing it. She tends to brace herself against walls with her hip, and she just pushed off with her hip, and was floating free for a few seconds. The second time was deliberate. She was in the drained tub, waiting to be pulled out. She had let go with her right hand, and was looking like she really wanted to let go with her left. But she was bent forward, so it looked awkward for her. So i offered her my hand, so she could pull upright - so she took it, stood up...and then she let go! She stood there all wobbly and looking a little freaked out for a good four seconds, before putting her hand down again! She hasn't done it again today, but now she knows she can, so I think it will turn up more and more often.


She had a physio appointment today! It went great. Because she's mastered a lot of the things we've started with, they're upping her goals quit a bit. Due to everyone's holiday time, we won't be back until early August. In the meantime, they want me to teach her how to cruise along a flat surface, like a wall, and climb stairs. They said a good way of doing the flat wall thing is to start at the fridge, with lots of fridge magnets that she can push around. If it's a fun place to be, she'll be more likely to get up on her own to play there. Right now, she's only pulling up against tables. Cruising down hallways is also good - it's to build trunk support. I'm supposed to brace her against a wall and let her go. She'll need a ton of tummy time to help her get it done. That and stairs - they said it's good exercise to build those pulling-up muscles. We can start with any low platform. She's always trying to climb up on John's bed, so they suggested we start there, and move up to real stairs as soon as she's able. We're supposed to do tummy time with a little pillow under her belly to start, to get her right up on all fours. She plays on her tummy now a lot, but she plays propped up on her elbows. It's good for loadbearing work for her upper body, but not as good for mobility. They tried to do it there, but she was having none of it. But we usually have better success with their assignments at home, which they said is the norm, so hopefully it will go well. So be prepared! These are big, big goals they've set for her, and these are the things we'll need to work on while we're in Dryden and Geraldton. Looks like we'll be spending a lot of our visit in everyone's stairwells and hallways. :-P We're also supposed to provide a lot of sensory stuff, too. The stroke can cause a change in sensation to the affected side. Some kids can feel more - others can feel less than normal. Part of what her hand brace does is provide pressure and sensory stimulation, so for kids who have very little sensation, it can get some neurons firing. Joan seems to be in the low-sensory category. Now that she's got the brace, she seems to have a heightened awareness of her right side. She's finding object with different sensations and stroking her right arm with them, which is something she's never done before. So fabric, or cotton balls, or crumpled paper - anything she finds. It's pretty neat to see, and the therapists said that's exactly the type of thing they wanted to see from the brace, so to keep the sensory input coming, and to lay it on thick.

We signed John up for preschool yesterday. Not the one we were thinking of before. We found an academic one that filled up months ago, but they opened up a new class, due to the high demand, and we managed to snag a spot! yay! it sounds a lot like his school in Hamilton, and a LOT like real JK. They take trips in the community, like to the library, and to Safeway, where they'll learn about nutrition, and to the firehouse, where they'll learn about fire safety. They do an annual trip to the zoo, too, which sounds cool. It's located in a school, though not our school. It's right next door to a library and a public pool, and near several major shopping centres, so I can do things with Joan and run errands while he's there, though it isn't far from home either. I thought at first, when I saw the pool, that I should take Joan swimming while he's there - it's one of the things they recommend for her in therapy - splashing is a great way to build muscle. But I realized, hey, I'm going to have a newborn in September. So that might nix that. We'll see. Maybe I can get a waterproof carrier of sorts for the new baby, so we can still go now and then. But anyway, this school solves a lot of the problems I had with the other place - one, it's taught by properly trained and board certified teachers and ECEs - the other was taught by ECE students and recreation grads. To me, that's a big, big deal. It's the teachers who made the real difference in the Best Start program. They were amazing, and really helped him blossom. Two, there's a common snack. The other place, we had to provide snacks ourselves, which I think would lead to snack envy, and a hoarding mentality. Snack seems like such a trivial thing, but I think it's an important thing in preschool, because it peer pressures them into trying new foods, and it shows them how to share, like at a normal family dinner table.

Anyway, better go. Lots of niggly jobs to do before the flight this weekend. Bloodwork to get done (the dreaded glucose test), W inc paperwork to do. Lots of mailing, lots of faxing, lots of forms. Lots of fun, fun, fun!

Mike...

I'm going to try to get that camera up and running again. This blog is looking dull. And you have to see Joan's cute little curls! Her hair is really coming in - she has her dad's wavy curls.

Speaking of dad, he's down sick. He's been off sick for FOUR DAYS! I don't know if it's the weather, with all this non-stop cold and damp, or if the bugs here are just more stubborn than what we're used to. He finally went to the doctor last night, after taking an obscene number of painkillers for two achey ears and a sore throat. They think both ears are infected, so he's on antibiotics now. Hopefully, he'll feel better in the morning. And more importantly, hopefully no-one else will catch this one! It hasn't been all bad having him around - it's let us tag team with the kids - while he's up, playing video games, I can sneak off for a nap. It's really helped - both the marathon contractions and headaches have completely stopped!

Kids are still doing great. Joan's physio is going well, and she's liking her new hand brace - when she wears it, she brings her right hand in to play a lot more. She tolerates it for about half an hour a day now. We're supposed to work up to two hours a day, and they'll assess how well it's working at the next appointment. But I can already tell it's making a difference. We've been working on the language, too. We're supposed to keep track of her gestures, and she has quite a repetoire. She also has more words than we initially realized - we just needed to listen harder. And get her away from John! He kind of dominates the conversation, to put it mildly. Today, I went for groceries with just Joan and I, while Mike watched John, and she was doing great. She asked for apples! She pointed wildly at the apples and shouted "Ap! Ap! Ap!" So I put some in a bag, and she was happy. She asked for bananas, too! But it sounded more like "ah-AH-ah! Ah-AH-ah!" It was pretty neat. Usually, she's quiet, but maybe she's just letting John do all the talking. Hopefully, we can get more opportunities to have one-on-one time with her. She's learning her colours too! We played a game with her Duplo last night, after John went to bed. I showed her all the colours, then asked her to find certain ones from the bucket, like "can you find another yellow?" About half the time, she got it right. You could really see her thinking. Though a lot of times, she was ignoring me, and just building rocket ships. It was hillarious - she'd build a big stack, then she'd make it fly through the air, with the appropriate "flying rocket" sound effect, that John taught her.

John's doing well, too. He's getting very excited about his fourth birthday. He knows it's coming, and is looking forward to cake! He talks about it all the time! He wants something very specific as a present, but I'm not sure we're going to get it. it's called trap jaws - a truck/shark hybrid thing. Not sure he needs yet another truck, though. Maybe painting supplies. I think he'd like dess-up stuff, too. A tool kit, or a doctor kit. They don't get the attention of trucks at the toy store, but I think he'd get a lot out of something like that. When I went to pick him up at the sibling room today, he was Dr. John - complete with a little plastic stethascope. He had a blast! (Dr. John is one of his favourite personas - followed closely by Worker Man John. He loves it when one of us is sick - we become his patients. He has excellent bed-side manner).

Our building is still unsold, but apparently there was an offer. But it all fell through right at the last minute, according to the agent. We had a second showing a ouple days ago. A very wealthy-looking oriental couple. The agent said the word from those interested, is they'd like to keep it as a duplex, but renovate the neighbour's side (their lease wasn't renewed, so they''re moving at the end of the month), then offer us the other side, and renovate our side while it's vacant. Obviously, it's to get more in rent. It makes us a little nervous - not sure just how high it could go. But we'll play it all by ear, and see what comes our way.

The city is starting to gear up for Stampede - stringing lots of banners and stuff. I think it's the second week in July or something. I'm not looking forward to it - I hear the crowds shut down the city, and we live fairly close to the action. But if anyone wants to see the Stampede, but are deterred by the solidly booked hotels, you're welcome to bunk with us! Mike booked some time off in July, and is planning to rent us a cabin in the mountains, to take John fishing and canoeing, and escape the city before it becomes a bad idea for me to be too far from the hospital. But I don't think the dates completely overlap.

Anyway, Joan is getting bored, and I think Mike is stirring, so better go!

baby three...

just a quick note on baby 3 - I had an OB appointment yesterday. (Have I mentioned that we've been in a lot of doctor's offices lately?)

She said the baby looks awesome - heart rate was 161, it's head down, and squirming all over. It's growing on schedule, and all test results so far are normal. I've been getting lots of really severe headaches lately. She told me to up my Tylenol dose for now, and watch for spots. If that happens, go to emerg right away. She said my blood pressure is consistantly as perfect as can be, but sometimes blood pressure complications can happen even in people with good blood pressure, which seems a bit odd to me. She also told me to keep a close eye on my Braxton Hicks contractions. She said they're a bit too aggressive for this stage of pregnancy (27 weeks). They come in long, long spurts, and sometimes by the time they end, they're actually getting painfull. She said if they go on for more than a 45 minute stretch, to head to the hospital for an assessment, just to make sure my cervix isn't getting over-eager. She's really convinced this delivery will be very fast, because my body's already done it twice. So she warned me if it does turn into real labour, I may not have time to get to the hospital, so I need to pay attention. I'm not sure what to do - I have contractions almost constantly some days. Now and then they hurt, though mostly they're just really annoying and uncomfortable. She switched me to appointments every two weeks, and told me to get more sleep, to see if that would help settle down the headaches. I did manage to get a nap yesterday, and it did help soften it up a lot. I'm sure it's more likely tension than blood pressure, and she seemed to agree. I'm not TOO concerned about the contractions. I remember with John and Joan, they definitley increased with stress, and things have been a bit tense here lately, with Mike's long hours and no days off. And it's harder for me to keep up on my end of stuff - my hips are just completely out-of-whack this time, which makes it really painful to walk and bend a lot of days. If I do a lot of cleaning in one day, it's all I can do to shuffle off to bed at night, it hurts so much! It's terrible. I'm falling apart! I'm trying to get John to help with some of the tidying, but he's only three - I can only expect so much. But he's happy to do what he does do, which is great.

Anyway, better go. It's fast approaching lunch and nap time! Mmmmm.....nap.....

joan's physio

Joan had her second physio appointment today. It was a biggie! Lots got done. They pulled in the speech pathologist, and they also made her a brace for her hand. We were there a whopping three hours! But it was good. I got lots of questions answered, and got some straight facts, which was nice.

Joan was extremely shy when we first arrived at the therapy room. She spent a good chunk of the first hour with her face burried in my shirt. Though they did manage to coax her to play with a puzzle. By the end, she was interacting and playing with them, but it was slow going. So the speech pathologist never actually heard her utter a single sound. But she asked a million questions. She feels things are going alright. She has all the building blocks of speech. I'm supposed to pay close attention over the next two weeks to gestures, and note their frequency and purpose. Obviously, gestures are the precurser to speech. We're supposed to try to get her to mimic us more, and make a special point of using lots of gestures, and point things out in the world for her. They're going to hold off on formal testing for the time being, because the pathologist doesn't think it's needed. She may be naturally delayed - genetics plays a role - both mike and john were relatively late speakers, so it may just be how she's designed to be naturally. But just in case, they're ordering a hearing test, similar to the one she had at a few weeks old. But this one is a little more elaborate than a set of headphones. It'll be done in a soundproof booth, and they can test more frequencies now that she's older. She says it's routine for all patients whose parents are concerned about a lack of talking. But she said not to be concerned about words vanishing - that's completely normal. Especially with kids like this - there's often a more extended period between when a word first appears, and when it becomes in common use. In between, it can vanish for a much longer period of time than a normal kid, which is normal for them, but alarming for parents. But she's being watched and assessed by a therapist, which is a very good thing.

The therapists saw good things from our work over the last two weeks - they could notice her progress pretty easily, which was nice. We need to keep plugging on, and they added a few other games and things. They added some things to strengthen the right side of her trunk, because she spends so much time on her left hip. They gave me a few games to strengthen her upper back as well.

As I said, they also made her glove, which was pretty exciting. They made it right while we waited. It took them ages, with fitting after fitting after fitting. After it all, I asked how much. It cost us $1! I howled when they said that. In Hamilton, they warned me that the hand braces are expensive, because they're custom made. But there, they have to bring in someone from the outside. In this place, they have a sewing room, and the OTs make them themselves.

They showed me the pool, too. Yup, they have a pool right inside the hospital! Most of the kids in therapy really enjoy the pool, so they do a fair bit of water therapy, and Joan may be prescribed that too, down the road. Have I mentioned what an amazing place this is?

They also invited me to a parent thing, where other parents with kids in therapy come and talk about the struggles of the diagnosis process, and how they feel about everything. They said it can be really helpful. I think i might just go, though it's not for a few weeks. Thought I may not meet another famly just like us. Joan is a rarity, even for a big hospital like this, they said. They may get a case of two each year of these strokes. They said if we want down the road, they can hook us up with some other parents with Joan's exact condition - they have one on their roster whose son is five right now. Then, we can have someone out there who'se been through what we're going through right now, and it might give us a better idea of what to expect from Joan, and from the hospital experience. Other than that, any group things will be with kids that are similar, but not exactly the same.

One very serious thing came out of this meeting. I'm hesitant to put this here, because I'm concerned how people will react. But I've had a few weeks to let it all sink in, and i feel better about it, now that I've actually gotten some real answers from her therapy team. I think there's value to a certain degree of transparency, so I'm going to put it in. Joan's actual "diagnosis" is cerebral palsy. That term has swirled around her since her initial diagnosis, way back in Hamilton. So I finally came out and asked if that's what she's got, and they said yes. It went unsaid, because they don't generally attach that label until after the kid turns two. Obviously, what society thinks of when they think of cerebral palsy does not even remotely match what Joan is. But in medical terms, it's brain damage caused between conception and two years of age, and manifests itself in the motor skills. It can have a million causes - one happens to be stroke. She has the spastic variety, which means a tightening of the muscles - not the herky jerkies a lot of people might think of - that's a different kind. The reason the label doesn't usually get attached until two is because sometimes, the stroke is so mild, that it's largely just swelling, when it's fresh. Then, over a couple of years, the swelling goes down, leaving the scar. In some cases, there is a miniscule scar, and the motor damage doesn't stay, in which case, the diagnosis isn't made. But it Joan's case, because the damage was extensive, and has affected her motor abilities, even a year and a half later, when most of the swelling is gone, the term, by definition, applies to her.

I was very, very upset when I first put two and two together, and realized she did, in fact, have cerebral palsy. It carries a very serious stigma with it. But I'm starting to come to terms with it, and I hope all of you can, too, at the very least for Joan's sake. It's just a word. They still see bright things in her future. She's not mentally handicapped. She's going to be OK. She's still the giggly little goofball she was yesterday. Her case is very mild. She'll never be catatonic, drooling in a wheel chair. The damage is done - it won't get worse. At the end of the day, it's just a word, and you have to make a choice on what emotional weight you want to grant it.

That said, it is a "disablity". (Oh, how I hate that word!) And because of that, we actualy should qualify for a disability tax credit, because we have a "disabled dependent". It means whomping tax breaks, and a huge increase to our child benefit cheques, once all the paperwork goes through. We haven't started it yet. The therapists said they'd help get us through, but it's got to be done by a doctor - typically a pediatrician. We have a referral to a pediatrician in August, so they said to print out the government form, and take it along when we go. The pediatrician can take it from there, and the therapy team will back it up. It also lets us claim our portion of her braces and walkers, and even tutors, if she needs them down the road, on our taxes. It gives her extra tuition and book tax credits for university. All in all, it's a good thing. I don't like the stigma of it, though. I don't like the labels at all. I don't want her to have that "oh, I can't do it because I'm disabled" crutch, as an excuse to stop trying when things get tough for her. But for the time being, it could come in handy, if we go for it, and the approval goes through. Mike and I have some talking to do about it, obviously. We had decided when we saw the MRI, and realized the full extent of the damage, that we wanted to make her life as normal as possible - to treat her condition as trivial as possible. It may be harder with an official designation like that. So we have some decisions to make, for sure.

Anyway. The natives are getting restless, so I'd better go!