update....

Joan, on wharf at Bella Coola, during our vacation this summer

Waitin for laundry to finish, at bela Coola. Dave was there too - behind the camera in my tummy.

John, striking a pose, by the fjord. He thought the boats were cool.

Joan can walk! Like...on her own!

Well, kind of.

She's been bonding with her walker these past few days, and doing great with it. She can do a 180 turn no problem, and uses it to putter around the apartment - even just to follow me around. It's going great, and we've got great hopes for this thing. But last night, Mike tried something that was amazing. He wrapped a receiving blanket around her front, and hooked it under her arms, and held the "reigns" out the back. He gave her lots of slack, so that he wasn't actually supporting any weight, but kept holding, so he could catch her if she fell. Then he asked her to walk to me. And she DID! I tried it too - I held the ends of the blanket, so i could catch her if she fell, but took no weight, and she walked clear across the room, no problem! Take the blanket away, and she refuses to move. But with just that little bit of security, she can walk just fine. It's shakey - it's like saying a 12-month-old can walk. But she did it all on her own! It completely supports our theory that she can physically do it, she's just too scared of falling down. It's really, really exciting! We just need to find a way to boost her confidence enough to walk without a safety net. I imagine with enough practice, she'll get there.

In other Joan news, we just had her formally tested by the speech pathologist. She's right at the 50th percentile for understanding - so bang on the average for her age. But she's at the 10th percentile for expressive language. 16 per cent is the bottom end of average, so the SP said she would consider her delay to be fairly mild. Not a whole lot we can do - just keep plugging away with one and two word sentances. Keep teaching her new words. Fucus on "fun" words, like zip and zoom, and animal noises, and she'll check back in the new year to see how she's progressing. She said she sees good things happening, like how she'll copy the words we say, and that she picked up three new words in the last week ("beep,beep" (for when she wants us to get out of her way when she's with her walker), "water" and "blech".) She's really very confident speech is on the horizon - it'll just take longer. She thinks we'll start to see 2-word sentances in maybe 2-3 months.

John had some issues at school this week. The teacher pulled me aside, and told me that John didn't eat his snack, because he refused to sit at the last available seat, which was with a bunch of girls. So he chose to be all alone in the corner, snackless, rather than sit with them.

It sounds bothersome, but upon questioning, the pieces of his day seem to suggest something like this:

There were two new toys in the classroom that day - a Barbie van and some sort of doll house. John called the van a Vanagon, because Barbie vans do have a certain Vanagonesque quality. A little girl names Naya said, no, that's a Barbiemobile. It's a girl toy. An arguement ensued. So John went on to play with the doll house, which he does at home anyway. Naya said no - that's a Barbie house. It's a girl toy. So John, thinking they were calling him "petty" and "a girl", got a black car, and made it poop on Naya's head, which made all the boys laugh.

Then, it was time for snack. Naya was at the girl's table, and he was still mad at her for insinuating that he was pretty, when he is clearly just cool, so he refused to sit at her table, and had to be alone.

After purging this story to us, something changed. He went from hating Naya, to loving her. He said she was pretty, and wanted to decorate his lunch bag (which I often put goofy smiley faces on) with hearts and diamonds to show Naya that he loves her again.

So, now I've got this lunch bag, all covered in hearts and diamonds, that he wants to present to this girl he thinks is pretty, but won't let him play with the girl toys. I'm really, really confused on what I should do about this. I'm not sure if this is like, a first crush situation. I mean, nothing says I love you like making a car poop on a girl's head, right? Or is this his way of making friends? Should I say something to the teacher, so she can see what transpires on Monday? ( or at least talk to the kids about how there aren't girl toys and boy toys.) Should I just let it all go. Do I let him take this lunch bag? I'm ...very confused.

But as you all chew on that, and hopefully offer your suggestions, as wise elders, who've had experience with the complex social rituals of pre-schoolers, I'll leave you with a gem from John:

John, on the drive home from school one day: "Mom," he whispers, poking my arm. "Did you know, I control the world, and tell it what to do?"