a time for Joan...

This was taken in Dryden this past summer, while we waited for a fire-eating show to start.

Joan. Out of all our kids, probably Joan is the one going through the most changes right now. She started preschool this year, with a little preschool in John's school. They teach them a little french, like french songs and counting in french. So far, she's doing well. After just a couple days, she came home and was using the french for her numbers. I can tell they're working on letters right now, because she's able to name a lot of them, where she couldn't before. She loves going. When I drop her off, she always does a twirl around the room. And now all of her services have kicked in, so she's going to get tons of stimulation for the next little while.

We had met Danielle, her new OT before summer. But now that Joan is in school, that's where she'll get services. The plan is for her to sit in and assist on all of Joan's Friday classes, which is awesome. She'll be working with the teachers to show them ways of helping her with all the usual OT things - dressing, playing, crafts, self-care. The teachers seem happy with the arrangement - they get a little extra help generally, and they can get an expert's input on how to help her adjust. It should make her school time significantly more productive.

The latest excitement has been Lucy - her new speech pathologist. Joan LOVES Lucy! She gets so excited when we go to see her! So far, they've been doing mostly assessments, which Joan normally doesn't like. But Lucy is good - she scatters little rewards throughout the test to keep Joan focused. Like, she'll give her a puzzle to do, and give her a piece after every few tasks. All of her assessments came out wit a delay, but they were all so painfully mild. Like, normal starts at 85, and she got 83. They were all about that close - expression, comprehension and speech. Every session, we get games to play until the next session, to focus on something very specific. This session, we have to work on the K sound, and sorting pictures of objects into like piles. It turns out, she can't make any sound that requires pulling her tongue to the back of her mouth. Who knew? She's getting better tat it, though. She can't make a K yet, but she's managed to make sort of a weird gurgling sound.

The last two pieces of her team have very recently fallen into place - we meet her new physiotherapist next week, and the division that handles preschool liaison just called today to say hey. They're the ones who can provide an aide in the class, if that's what the teachers need.

I'm also working on getting her a referral for the local therapeutic riding stable. Kids with behavioral issues can just go, but because she's physically disabled, she needs a doctor to refer her. It's not as expensive as I thought it would be, and it's apparently really good for balance and hip strength, which are two things she still needs work in. They have an open house with rides and farm animals on Dec 5 that we're planning to take her to.

I definitely need to find her more things to do. Preschool is great, but it's only three afternoons a week. The rest of the time, while John is in school, she's in charge. Having a three-year-old in charge is not pretty. She calls Dave her best friend, and the two of them are total partners in crime! He follows her around and get into all kinds of craziness. I'll come up from putting in a load of laundry and find flour scattered all over the floor. I'll get out of the shower to find books in tatters, or great smears of peanut butter down the hallway. It's just bizarre how much trouble they can get into in so little time. It feels like they're just waiting for me to leave the room, and as soon as I'm out of sight, they get down to business. It's all preplanned. It started when they began sharing a room together. Dave used to be so easy to put to bed. Now they both stay up horsing around. I always thought it was John being the problem when he and Joan shared. But now he's the easiest to get to bed. I'm thinking it must be that common denominator or Joan. They take toys to bed, and sit up playing horses or puppies, or jump off the side table onto the bed. There are many nights we poke in to check on them before we go to bed, and the lights will be on, the furniture will be toppled and they'll be curled up together under one little blanket in the middle of the floor.

Now that she's talking in full sentences, her personality is really shining through. I thought John was a thespian. He can't hold a candle to her! She can actually cry on command. Only her own command, mind you. But it's still a site to see. Let's say she falls and hurts herself. She gets hurt. It's no fun. But in front of me, she just shrugs it off and moves on with her life. An hour later, in walks Mike from work. She'll come running up, in full tears, and start crying that she's fallen and hurt herself! And she did fall - an hour ago! She does it all the time! The cat scratches her - it's good for a couple rounds of tears. Falls. Spankings. Even if one of the boys hits her, she'll cry that she's hurt, to get him in trouble. Then another parent will come on scene some time later, and she'll turn the tears on again, as though it just happened! It's ridiculous! I feel like people must think I'm unfeeling, because she'll even turn it all on again for teachers or total strangers, and I'll just roll my eyes and tell her to cut it out. 

I've made her sound so bad! But she's actually a great kid. She's feisty, stubborn and opinionated, but she's also very sweet. She's my little helper, all the way. She helps me cook - she's good at tossing veggies in pots, or stirring or dumping. She's good at cheering up Tom when I'm too busy to look after him. And she cares about all her brothers. Today, Dave shoved her hard and almost knocked her down the stairs because she had something he wanted. So I gave him a tap on his bum. It was enough to upset him, but Joan was the one who started crying. "Why would you do that to Dave? He's my very best friend. You shouldn't do that to him!" It was pretty gut wrenching. I felt about 2 inches tall. But within a few minutes, they were back to scrapping it out, so all was well.

We've been doing curling every week this winter, and \Joan has been enjoying the parade of babysitters we've had though here. We have four that we've used so far - each one bringing something different to the mix. We have a teenager who all the kids love - especially Joan. Now she wants to have red lips and paint her nails "just like Babysitter!" She's a sweet kid, she can actually handle them just fine, and she's our 3rd's daughter, so we're happy to use her. But she's a VERY busy babysitter, so we have others we rely on. The very first one was Sophie. She's with an agency, and very expensive, but we get her now and then, because she's like a special treat for the kids. She's a British trained nanny, and got her ECE after immigrating here. She's freaking amazing, and worth the extra cash, but she's an extravagance we can't afford every week. Anyway, the kids were all asleep when we got home the first night she sat for us. When they woke up, Joan came bounding out of the room, with a big smile on her face. She saw me, and the smile instantly vanished. "Not you!" she screamed. "I hate you! I want that OTHER Mom!" She screamed for Sophie all morning long. I've never been happier to dump her in school as I was that afternoon! (Thankfully, she forgot about Sophie while she was at school, so Sophie has been allowed to return.)

I should probably go. I have to get dinner moving forward if \i ever want these kids to get to sleep tonight!